Nicron #47 14 августа 1997

Юмор

Humor - anecdotes.

(R) DEL

 Decided as a second Christ down to earth. Collected
 He, therefore, his 12 apostles on the council - when and where
 more people to attend. They consulted among themselves and
 decided: the second coming in August to arrange, in Odessa,
 Arcadia beach. People will be much, everyone will see, so far,
 there also the Day of Judgement will be arranged. Said than 
done.  Odessa, Arcadia Beach, August, 11 am. They go on

 sea. Suddenly St. Peter feels that begins to sink. He
 Christ cries, that, say, drowning, save it should be. Christ to
 it turns around and says: "Believe me, I say to you
 - Go, go hence. "Peter quickly the Lord's Prayer read
 crossed - still sinking. Again he shouted, already
 louder than that sinks that need to rescue him. Christ it 
again:  - Well I told you to believe in me, I'm going, not 
drowning - and  you go. Peter again, "Our Father" read again

 crossed a couple of times - is still sinking. He yelled at all
 loudly: "Well I believe in you already, but still drowning,
 Escape. "And Jesus answered him: - believed also - well, well
 if you can not walk on water, stop yelling and go all the
 by a breakwater.


 Caught the Uzbek Khokhlushka, flunked her, and she yells: - 
Water  Water! He does not understand: - Why the water, where 
I'll take  water? - Return the water here!



 Armenian Radio was asked "what is semiconductor?"
 Armenian radio thinking, thinking, referred the matter of the 
Uzbek  radio. That long delay response: - Semiconductor is one

 conductor for two cars.


 - Voloden'ka it's there for lesnitse so thunders? Someone
 Safe to yourself is? - No, it's Iron Felix on the rails
 rides.


 - That's like feeding a cat with mustard? American
 cat opens mouth and puts her back mustard. Her cat
 swallows. Russian says: "This is tyranny!". Englishman
 plasters mustard between two slices of sausage, and gives it
 cat, she eats. Russian says: "It's a lie!". All
 I wonder what will make the Russian. He takes the cat and
 rubs her butt with mustard. Cat yells, but the mustard 
Licking. -  Please note that the cat eats mustard voluntarily 
and  song.



 Rides Stirlitz on the road, watching - Borman signals. "And 
tries # $  I need it? "- thought subj and drove on. After 5 
minutes  again see Bormann and again stopped. After another 5

 minutes saw Bormann. "Ring Road", thought and subj
 went on.


 Maalenky provincial town, around the mud in which
 all sinks. Lop-sided post with a yellow light bulb, the curve
 bridge over a creek. Embracing a post, a man stands and leads
 neighborhood cloudy eyes. Mostok goes on cow
 appropriate color scheme, looks at the man and says,
 Muuuuu. A man looks at a cow, sighs and says: "Here
 and people. Lives, lives, and then dies. "