Nicron #42 10 июля 1997

Юмор

Humor - anecdotes.

(R) DEL


   We had a teacher of astronomy: the question:

   "Why Ozone hole is formed over the south pole"

   She replies, pointing to the map: the South Pole at the 
bottom 

   located, and the bottom is always the dirtiest accumulates,

   here it is, and destroy "


   Our time. Man comes into the store, looks around for

   parties and, writing in notebook something, saying:

   - Yes! Sausages not, no canned food, no milk, cheese

   no ... To him comes an old man and said: - Ah,

   if now was the 37th year, I would slug you do not

   sorry! - So, too, and bullets do not ...


   The boy on the beach: - Mama, why this Uncle

   big bag, and in addition - a little? - This is my uncle

   rich, and one - the poor. After some time: - Mom,

   Mom, look: my uncle was looking at you and gets rich, gets 
richer ... 


   Lessons in medical school. Teacher asks: -

   Tell me which of the organs may increase in

   ten times? In the audience - hee-hee-hee, ha-ha-ha.

   Teacher: - The answer is: the pupil of the eye can

   increase in size by ten times. And that your

   "Hee-hee-hee" yes "ha-ha-ha" - only two and a half times.


   Is a student in a pond, and heard: "Help! On

   assistance. "Views - himichka drowning. Well, the student is 
doing nefig 

   was, he saved her ... Catching his breath, and she tells him 
(with 

   emphasis): - For having saved menya, every your wish

   executed. Hochesh 5 per semestr? -No - A year? -No - y

   then for the entire course? - No - A chego PVCs you hochesh?

   - So just do not tell students what it is I saved you ...


   In the zone a convict asks another - you political?

   - Yes - And what has worked? - Plumbing -?? And how did

   what are you political?? - Yes, I was called as - then

   City Council. Sink them in the toilet broke. Well, I

   looked at me and said that it was time to change the whole 
system ... 


   Vovochka comes to my mother and asked: - And as I come from?

   - We love you and dad found in the cabbage - the one 
responsible. - And how 

   brother come from? - We found it in the carrots. - And how

   sister? - We found it in the potatoes. - So you dad

   dragged across the kitchen garden?


   In my personal appearance before the colonel Pokidin

   systems to explain why according to the ordinance put in the 
report 

   boss to stop in 3 steps: - If you approach

   closer, and the chief of the report did not like it, it can

   jump and drop in the ear!


   Chukchi sent to hunt, and said that only lions

   killed. After hunting ask, they say, Coco killed? And he 
named 

   - Five NOUSEROV. A cho em like that. He - well, I'm walking, 
I look 

   animal runs, I told him: you are a lion? he told me: Know 
Ser. Well, I 

   Tavo and so it 5 times.