Nicron #40 26 июня 1997

Юмор

Humor - anecdotes.

(C) DEL


   At the festival in Cannes Schwarzenegger after the show

   its next fighter was asked: - And where you

   learned to use so many weapons? - In

   Kiev.


   By Sherlock Holmes to the visitor came in a shabby suit,

   rumpled hat and a shirt with frayed cuffs and

   began to ask for help, but Holmes was denied. When

   visitor had gone, Watson attacked the detective: - You

   never refused to help the poor! - Yes, but it was not

   poor! He has a purse there were 123 pounds and 15 pence.

   - How do you know? - And let's recalculate

   together ...


   We had such a major named Shpak. So it in the classroom

   said: - When I'm not saying anything, you do not

   record, but just listen. He is to travel to the

   charges saying: "Here in the camp will go - there is some 
shooting!" A 

   on the radar, he said that they did not fall silent work.


   N / n for Wisniewski said this: "When moving parade

   step is necessary to keep his head straight ahead, swing 
arms from 

   Buckle up to failure. "BZ - a light-yellow crystals

   white. (This series of color was white

   Alexander Makedoskogo horse?)


   I wrote at the Institute for the GO control: how to deal with

   forest fires. Well, I write that in the forest clearings are 
made, 

   and throw out the roots of trees to fire. After 2

   weeks. return to me a leaf, there is 4, and the error:

   back to the fire thickly smeared with red, and near

   written: the crowns of fire!


   From the charter air defense forces. Positioning radar

   subdivision in the desert. In the desert, the position should

   chosen near sources of water and fuel.


   From the Charter of the garrison and guard duty. About

   responsibilities of the conductor of dogs: the conductor is 
obliged to 

   know each subordinate dog person.


   There once was a man, and he had 3 sons: cop, an officer and 
a punk. 

   And he had a ogrod, which grew cabbage. And every

   Night came down to him hare toptun and trampled all

   cabbage. Peasant is fed up, he called to his older

   son moment and said: - Here, sonny, I'll leave you all

   inheritance, but under one condition - you must keep our

   garden from the hare-toptuna. - No problem, Dad, - answers

   son. Well, he brought a platoon of riot police surrounded 
them garden, all 

   Night at the post stood, watching the morning - the whole 
garden 

   trampled. The father was upset and calls to his middle

   son-commissioned officer and tells him: - Here, son, no 
senior 

   justified my expectations, did not save the garden. Can you

   right - get the inheritance. - No problem, my father, -

   meets his son. Drove the son of a column of armored 
vehicles, surrounded the entire 

   garden, night duty - in the morning watching - came hare

   and all trampled. Father very upset and wants to yourself

   youngest son of punk and says: - Here's my son, those two 
are not 

   fell short of my expectations. Although you sloven, and in 
general, but 

   I'll give you all the inheritance if shalt garden of

   hare toptuna. Son-punk brought to the garden all parties, all

   night they were sitting on guitars rattled, whistled noisily

   morning looks - come hare toptun and again the whole cabbage

   trampled. Here's a he, the hare-toptun!