Think #20 17 августа 1998

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                JOKES



  Sitting in the coupe, four women. It turned out
that all returned from the resort. One says:
 - I'll come and all-all my husband will tell!
"Well, you fool!" - Thought the second one.
"So brave!" - Thought the third one.
"Well, and memory!" - Thought the fourth.


                  *


  On the train a dandy speaks with a pretty girl:
 - Sorry you are going on business or traveling for fun?
 - Fun, but not for veshego.

                  *

  Southerner was in one compartment with a girl.
Long rode in silence, he finally could not resist:
 - The girls, you pachemu malchysh?
 - I want to and keep quiet! - She replied.
 - Ay-ay-ay. Hochet and Mulch! - Throwing
   em hand man.


                  *


  Compartment of a train. Go mom, daughter, soldier and
Ensign. Suddenly the lights go down and after a few seconds 
later there was zvonskaya slap in the face.  Mom thought: "Wow, 
my daughter just adults, and climb to her does not allow

well done! "
 Daughter: "Wow, Mom for ten years without
husband, but does not allow ... "
 Ensign: "Ugh, one must: a soldier sticks, but I get it!"
 Soldier: "If the light goes out again, I told him
Embedding again! "

                  *


  Cheeky woman clings to the man.
- Leave me alone? - Says to her neighbor on the coupe -
Firstly, I'm impotent, and secondly - syphilitic, third, going 
to marry. 


                  *


  In a train compartment a man and a woman. He did not
addressed to her speak.
 Draws a glass, put a question mark. The woman nods. He gets 
brandy, treats.  Shows on cigarettes. Draws a question mark. 
The woman nods. Light up.  A woman draws a bed, put a question 
mark.  - And you guessed it - he asked that I work with 
Director of a furniture store? 


                  *



  On the bottom shelf in the compartments two ladies talking.
 - No Deribasivska or Seaside, or Odessa "Intour" Now do not 
give earnings. Let's go to Vorkuta and Norilsk. There, 
explorers, per night, "a piece of" pay.  A passenger from the 
top shelf: - Sluhayte here: do not forget that the North night 
lasts six months! 


                  *

 - It's true that I have your first?
 - Yes, really.
 - Swear.
 - By the most expensive that I have
in the world!
 - And that tedya most expensive?
 - Life of my three children.


                  *



  Two friends talk about girls:
- I met a lovely girl and
I want to marry.
- You must first make sure: she is
or not.
- And how?
- Buy a bottle of shompanskogo, candy and invite her to him. 
Sip champagne and immediately her wali. If she is puzzled, then 
another girl, and if not, then ... You understand. 

  The next day they met, and
groom, says:
- I did as you advised, no doubt about it - a girl! She was so 
confused that not put a pillow under his head, and a priest.



                  *



  In bed, she asks the guy:
 - Tell me I'm in your first or not?
 The guy frowned, thinking. An hour passed,
two ...
 The girl says:
 - Well, sorry, I was joking. You're offended?
 - No, no, I think ...


                  *


  In bed, he and she:
- Honey, can I call you Eve?
- Why?
- You're my first.
- Okay. And can I call you

  "Moskvich"?
- Why?
- You're a 412-st.


                  *


  Guy tries to convince her friend to give away.
- Oh, no! Firstly, I'm still a girl
and secondly, I then head
aches.

                  *


  The guy came to the girl. We sat and talked, drank coffee. He 
kept her hair. - What are you comb out of the hands will not 
let? - Could not stand the girl. - Yes, when I think that you 
still need to fuck the hair stand on end. 


                  *


  Daughter comes home in the morning. Father
strictly asks:
- Well? And how is it called?
- I do not know, Dad. But now it is my
hobby.

                  *



  Boy and girl lived in a Puritan village, and the only place 
for love appointments for them was the local cemetery.


  Once she returned home and complained that she had formed on 
his ass painful scars. The parents suspected something was 
wrong. - And not with a guy if you were in your graveyard? - 
Asked the father. - No one! - Said his daughter.

- Well, then show me your scars? - His father said. - A Ny, 
bend. 

  Daughter leaned forward and lowered his trousers.
- Liar! - Troubled father. - You still sinned with the guy on 
the tombstone! Or this is so, or your ass dead in 1881

year!


                  *

  Grown in the Chukchi daughter.
 - Dad, let me go to the disco.
 - Go on, girl. But I will give you some advice.
If you touch a guy to his chest, beat on
hands. Climb below - tell me that there is a fire. Go out and 
do not stay long. 

  A daughter come in the morning. The father asks:
 - Why so long?
 - And so it was, Dad. Touched me the guy at his chest - I 
slapped his hands. When useful below, I said that there fire. 
Then he told me that he has a sausage, and invited her to fry. 
We toasted until morning. And then it turned out that it is wet.



                  *