Polesse #16 24 февраля 2000

Самиздат

23rd February - Day of Fatherland Defenders dedicate ...

              23 Feb.



            Homeland Defender Day, dedicated ...


(C) Kuzma Patsifistyuk



    ... You're not here! Here you will quickly grow out ugliness
break! Is that you in the civilian mate swearing like small 
children, vodka drunk and crawling around the red, bet ^ as

cucumbers. No, well, that's my understanding that you can drink 
a bottle, well liter, well two - but why nazhiratsya like pigs! 
Enough! There will be engaged in business for real and get to 
be human. Here the law is this: come, $ b-to-x ^, in the army - 
be a man. Woman will become, when come out again. And do not 
for me their grievances - on such as you have jokes laughing. 
And you ear does not blink ...



    Attention! Backs to each other in a checkerboard pattern 
along the diagonal become! As you build, run one by one! 
Private, remove his hands from his mouth. Why is it always 
curve is constructed? All equal in terms of sex cracks! That's 
right, bet. Close your mouth, the ordinary - panties visible. 
Will not pull the rubber on the back burner, let's get 
acquainted. 


    I - your commander, my family - Major Smith. I come to you 
from Kantemirovskaya division. Well, there are known to be 
fools do not keep! The reorganization has affected our division 
and other kinds of troops. Look at me, where I was normal, but 
where and merciless. I Academy is not finished, but the Army 
education you Dadu! Advise you hack to death is on your 
forehead. And if you have $ b-to-x, a head, as the toilet, 
where nothing lasts, then to set up an information address 
book. Or better two, as I have. That's right, bet. 


    Hey, asshole, lift up your face! Who are sleeping, standing 
on the move? Before you are a major cost! What have you strap 
on the scrotum dangles like a pregnant woman? Sore throat? 
Teach Charter - ache will not. After constructing the right 
take and rewrite the entire constitution by heart five times. 
Shut up, I ask you! You have me here is not vykayte, myself 
competent. If you want to say something, so stand and be 
silent. Sloven, bet ... If there was war time, brought would 
you in the open field, put a face to the wall and let the 
bullet in the head by two queues. What are you, $ b-to's, his 
eyes on me looking at? When the soldiers abused, we must become 
still, and redden. In winter, it is night, the guard is 
replaced twice a day. And then orderly, sleeping, standing on 
the nightstand. It was quite conscience insolent, bet ... 


    Sergeant in the platoon is not enough struggles with 
appearance. Not orderly Swifts, on the ears hanging. This one 
grew claws like an eagle, too, probably, to climb trees. 
Abashidze was overgrown, like an elephant and hairy, like a 
snake. Unshaven neck - and after all this begins with the 
motherland ... All to make the neck slips! And to eliminate 
this disadvantage, as hair. Hairstyle should be like me - bare 
back and front - so that, as the rear. Sergeant, what lybishsya 
you like a moron, clever, or what? Platoon seven slobs, and he 
wears her hair parted in the middle, bet ... Fasten at Of 
course! Boots not in shape, so they need to be cleaned in the 
evening and morning to put on a fresh mind! And remember, all 
your trouble because you have the upper puovitsa $ b-to-x 
dangles. And the buttons should be sewn tightly, like a 
barrier! Now I will deal properly and will punish anybody! 


    Now, on the order. Live here, that the pigs in the den. In 
the lockers - slippers in the mud knee-deep in a dresser, I 
found two naked women. One I tore, and the second is not 
removed, glued, so let him whose it is a bedside table, it 
immediately otporet! Shut up or I'll behave brutally! Today, 
bet, Tuesday, coming Saturday. So, bet, on Saturday, the first 
and second tables in a dismissal would not go. It's to know 
that I have here the commander, instead, $ b-to-x, a locomotive 
whistle at the Kazan station. 


    Terms of litter, bet! Vaughn is a whole bin of papers, and 
none of it does not take any decision. Groundhog lifestyles are 
driving, mp-rschi soldiers! Here's what a pig has passed? Cow, 
bet that right?



    Well, then, bet. Today we organize Sunday's Saturday.
Soldiers out of work - a potential criminal. Now and until the 
evening all the plow, so the sweat poured in streams. But many 
do not drink the water, otherwise all the water will make you 
back in the form of salt. Put the task: to collect all the 
bricks and burn them. Here in this place to dig a ditch, dig 
from the fence to end. I arranged with a shovel. Who propensity 
for mathematics? Do you? What's your name? Thus, bet, Sidorov, 
take a spade - you will be removing the roots! Barracks clean 
thoroughly. Obtyanut bed sheets, the mattress was still square. 
And remember that every fold of the blanket - this is a 
loophole for the enemy! In Lenin's room mate not to swear 
loudly, and make the Fighting sheet. And then you first mate, 
bet, lies, and then these same hands will take the bread. Do 
not know what to write? Well ... $ B-to-x, two or three little 
notes, but there are no words - draw picture. And in general! 
Battle piece should have to be fighting a leaf, it's the same 
battle piece. If you're pasting a photo, then look to me, the 
person in the photo must be square. And I'm here for you, my 
work here will not do. 


    Sweep the dusty parade ground and puddles on their way 
ustranit overclocking. That officers will no longer urinate 
when they walk through the parade ground. Sweep with a crowbar. 
No need to be better, it is necessary, as the position. I am 
without you I know that a broom handy, but it is important not 
result, and that you tired. And that I'm in the barracks at 
this time no personnel never seen!



    After work - build one for dinner. If you are the civilians 
were so smart, why systems do not go into the dining room? AND 
went to the front door, but then I immediately doklali that the 
cases of food intake personnel through the anus. AND behave 
more quietly, and then the tea cools. That you will be fraught 
with sideways I guarantee as to the grandmother did not go. 
Then everyone in the barracks, and sit quietly so that they 
could hear what he tells TV. I arrange a surprise inspection 
scheduled. 


    At the command of "retreat" will come at night. Then all
sleep and no talk, bet. In the morning all night said it. In 
the morning light lifting - three green whistle up. Morning We 
krasit lattice at the barracks, because in the army should be 
monotonous, cut, painted and sanded. If who do not understand 
what it is, $ b-to-x, lattice, explaining specifically for 
fools and students: it is - a metal sheet to cut through it 
squares. 


    I said everything, bet. And now, ten minutes the break, and 
after five minutes, all built. Smoking is not possible, but 
cigarette butts to make here. Left circle dismissed! And what 
are you doing here sadly limping - give birth or something, 
going? Do not be afraid, bet! You still remember Major Ivanov 
one kind word. Because here you are, I - dear father and your 
mother - the field kitchen. As the admiral said Suvorov in 
Russian-Japanese war - difficult to learn, easy to die! 
-------------- 

  ^ BET - trudnoperevodimoe decent expression of the middle 
chain of command of the army. Derived from the contamination of 
some idioms impaired vocabulary, probably archaic origin. 
Simply put, sbyakavshiesya a tricky bunch Matyuk. Swearing in 
front of everyone, and nothing to reproach 


  ~ EB-ON-X - completely translated almost decent expression, 
the rest is similar to the first. 



       SERVICE IN THE ARMED FORCES RB


(C) NIGHT



     Here we may be called "Dogs"

     They spit on our honor

     And we'll send his soul all on the first $ x

     And as always answer: "Yes!"


  Taschites women in civilian life, while I'm here
Kruchu footcloths!


  An army without a mat, a soldier without a machine


  At 1.5 years, one goal: to survive until Dembele
and not to go crazy!


  "We are no strangers to work!" - Said
soldiers and lay down to sleep.


          Vodka and beer we drink,

          Do not eat sausage,

          Mug of tea naebnem

          And the "jackals" listen.


  U.S. troops preparing for war, and our
soldiers to DMB!


  If the work is worth it - hence it is well
posed.


  In the army there is no perpetual motion, there
eternal brakes.


  I'm sitting here, sitting and thinking: "What
fag this army came up !???"


  Soldiers as a fire extinguisher until ebnesh
will not work.


  "I love hiking!" - Said the commander Sitting
in his car.

  "I'm fucked in the mouth!" - Said the soldiers tied up the 
sack. 


  Does not have 100 rubles, while fellow man have in the 
kitchen! 


  Why did the army not KVN? Because all
fun on the lip, and resourceful in the hospital.


        At the gates oak cut down,

        Then, have brought to the barracks.

        Then he sat in the storeroom

        And he called the sergeant.


  Give a soldier a foothold and he falls asleep!


  Escaping from pograntsov offender is
running away from his vacation.


  The best four-legged friend pograntsaKROVAT.


  Pogranets armed with a spoon - almost invincible!


  Oak tables stand, sit redneck healthy. Everyone looks no idea 
- go political studies. 


  In a dispute with the foreman is not born truth, and an 
extraordinary outfit. 


  We love the work. And we can look at it
Hours!


        Well, when the dog - a friend!

        Bad when a friend - DOG!


  Better to listen to barking dogs Border -
than the oath of girls!


  If you do not want to sleep at night - get married!

  If you do not want to sleep during the day - buy a car!

  If you do not want to sleep, day or night

                       - Go to serve in the PV!


        Served as a soldier! Teach Charter!

        And in doing drill!

        And where is the woman began,

        The girl that was with you!


  Kissing a girl on the lips - to forget that for
their teeth!


  Life - a book.

  Army - is a page torn out at the
interesting place.


  Dream - the only thing that soldiers engaged in earnest.


  The girl that changed the border guard, is condemned by 
Article 32: "For the high treason." 


  Petty Officer we have a good, sergeant, we
one!

  So let's get together and give him a pussy!


   The girl walks with a boyfriend - the story.

   A girl kisses a guy - a novel.

   The girl promises to wait for the guy from the army -

              B A C H H!


     Who is to blame that you are tired?

     What nedoel that not have enough sleep

     Footcloths bad wound

     Came to watch and fell.

     Whose fault here? That day by day

     Orderly us shouting: "Get up!"

     And our dear house of dreams

     The order, which we leave.

     Sounds "Reject!" and fade sounds

     And you can not raise your hands

     Who's to blame? Tell the soldiers!

     What have you got to dress again

     And the sergeant yelled like hell

     And with our stream flows down the pot.


     Citizen in the next 2 steps

     But to her to go 1.5 years

     Blurring the legs in boots

     Through snow, rain and bad weather.


  Life of a soldier - it is a struggle

  Before lunch with hunger, after dinner with sleep.


  The girl, waiting for the soldier - museum piece! Comrades! 
DO NOT TOUCH EXHIBITS HANDS! 


           The first guard.


      Goodbye forever my aul

      Today is the first guard

      My machine hangs on me

      With a dagger on his belt.

      Suddenly I hear in the silence of the steps

      This goes my enemies!

      Took the gun at odds

      And the potions in the snow crept

      "Stop!" Who goes there? "Do not come!"

      Lantern face lit up

      And I decided, without further ado

      My always ready to shoot.

      "I am distributing! - He shouted

      And his mother, he began

      And I trembled like a bitch

      And the trigger lightly pressed.

      His escape, my fire!

      His fall - my hit.

      And lead me in the court

      His cold dead bear

      Goodbye forever my village!

      Cursed be the first guard!



  - Tob. soldiers! Your actions at default violator team: 
"Stop!" I'll shoot! "? 

  - Shall be sent to the cartridge in the chamber, and create
a warning shot in the stomach.


  We warm gray overcoats and the smoke of cheap cigarettes

  A home moms older, but we just
19.


      Soldier! You believe, it will rise

      Star of Fascinating Happiness

      When out of personal lists of

      Our names will disappear.


      Brother! Believe me, it would be demobee

      Will not lychek and shoulder straps

      And having covered in a warm place

      We will turn off the moonshine.


      You remember a friend as we walked

      Wine, girl, taverns,

      Instead, they gave us

      X / B, belt and boots.


      Tell me what to blame the soldiers?

      For a girl that he changes?

      For the fact that adopting automatic

      Such whores he defends??


      The day will come and we will return

      And we will shine from afar

      No stars on shoulder boards for the battalion commander

      A star on the bottles of cognac.


  Cursed be the day when the surgeon hit
chest and whispered: "Godin!


      Stop a soldier! Hold your nerves!

      Squeeze your teeth and breathe smoothly!

      You're not the first nor the last

      All you have served and served!


  People! Do not be afraid! This is not the wolves! This MF 
soldiers AWOL! 


  Who's life is preparing a wedding dress.

  To someone - a white shirt.

  And I left a jacket and cap boundary.


       Soldier! Fear not the whistle of bullets!

       His bullet you will not hear!


       A green oak

       Gosznak hangs on that oak

       Day and night dog scientist

       All walks on the circle chain

       Is right - should be found

       Left - himself there heritage

       There are miracles out there walking patrol

       The secret is sitting there on the branches

       There on nividimyh tracks

       Traces of Invisible people

       And the tower there for chicken legs

       Stands alone among the rocks

       There intruder quietly walks

       "Crystal" accidentally breaks off

       Fly Flare

       And the group will search

       And I was there. In the patrol went.

       But served time, home time!

       And mustering shouting: "Hurrah!"

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