Body #10 21 мая 1998

Юмор

Smile - Daily Hacker, ordinary.

                          SMILE!

(C) Strake / DT '98

                    Hacker day, ordinary.


                                Morning.


    ... Her lips went down lower and lower, all approaching
rises higher and higher "unit". I already feel like
her hair is intertwined with my dumplings and the like still 
blowing in the the back of the pane (oh, it was necessary to 
close it!). Remained schitanye centimeters before the collision 
of my "tool" with her oral cavity and so ...


    I woke up and knew immediately that it was only a dream. 
Creepy headache, but still do not understand why is in my

shorts cord from the printer and a powerful stream of air from 
an air conditioner completely messed me up. With some 
difficulty pulling the cord from the cowards and plug in the 
anus and turning off air conditioning, I looked around for 
blankets, which in itself is not found after awakening. We 
detected no blanket - sent to the optic nerves signal the 
brain. After ten seconds, immediately after brain signal, I 
went to the bathroom, poputi otpinyvaya empty bottles, 
diskettes and other attributes of life. Since the way in 
bathroom to take a brain had nothing, I began to consider 
coming across bottles, and diskettes. "Three bottles at the 
front door, two stick out kitty litter, three prikleyany 
superglue on the ceiling and one looks out of the toilet. Just 
ten. Yeah, not very much and originally, they hid them, 
apparently, was still not enough. Tak's, floppy ... Two are in 
my slippers, I almost immediately noticed. One hung on a wall 
at eye level. That there written? Strake Lamer?!?! Well, 
S-Hunter quite ohrenel! Five floppy disks sticking out of his 
jacket pocket Graf'a, two more of his shoes. Sources, probably. 
Graf forgot them again. At this time, along with rags. Quite 
the seasons mixed up. Total nine floppy disks. Something is not 
enough, perhaps again Fireman stole several items, svolochara!. 
"Passing the toilet, I washed the floppy disk with the unseemly 
words together with a bottle, which for some time resisted, but 
could not resist a raging torrent of water and also went 
nowhere, or rather, in the sewer. 

    And here I am already in the bathroom. Surprise! Today is 
not nablevano! Apparently, was not enough. Pulling the 
toothbrush out of the closet, I began to brush his teeth, 
wondering why this is on the brush is so stale. Here in my 
dried brain became clearer yesterday's carouse. How much we 
had? .. I, S-Hunter, Graf, Fireman, Mr.Bad Guy and three or 
four little girls. The devil, as they were called? Everything 
was as usual fun fuck skillfully and with ardor progressive 
muzak, bottles stood on the table in series around zakus. The 
first three bottla passed to the "cheers", the following two 
for the "moose", and two more for the 3'5 ~ drives and their 
implementation in Spectrum circles, but for the last four 
tanks? And you go, I went into the kitchen, drink a couple 
liters of strong coffee. After a refreshing drink head began to 
ache less. When I had finished the last shot of coffee, someone 
started to peck at door with Periodicity at least two times in 
five seconds. Wondering who was there such an impatient, I went 
to open it. On threshold stood S-Hunter with swollen eyes and a 
two-liter bottle Coca-Col'y.

- Ass does not hurt? - With a grin he asked.
- And why should she get sick? There are in fact no brains. - I 
said, though he felt that ass hurts.

- Yes, no, I'm so, by the way ...

    And not to understand what is this word said Hunter, I
waved his hand towards the table on which stood still
something which zakus. They sat down, poured cola.
- Well Tuk that was yesterday, I'm Che is not really remember. 
- I asked, knocking a couple of glasses of cola and sprinkled 
with sugar, salt cucumber.


    It seemed Hunter'a now burst out laughing.
- Do not you remember? Do not you remember how we argued, as 
has been fun at first, and not much fun then?

- Nne-e-t ... - I gave a puzzled, - And who was arguing with 
someone and what?


    From Hunter'a already almost dripping, so it was fun.
- Well, kolis! - I began to fear that this sort of
way implicated my persona.
- Yes I did almost nothing to remember. - Otmazatsya Hunter, 
becoming slightly seriously - I remember there were two 
konistry beer, eight bottles something stronger, I do not 
remember what. 

    We were silent. I tried to remember, but to no avail. What
Hunter thought I could only guess. Judging by his extended
Roger, on a lot of fun.
- And who of the girls was that? - I broke the silence, trying 
to look calmer, because I increasingly felt that I had yesterday

brakes failed and I'm breaking anything (just not with the 
girls!). 

    On the face Hunter'a appeared slight bewilderment.
- Somehow I do not remember - he said.
"Apparently, it was a bit much - I thought.

    We are silent again. At this time, thinking about one thing 
- "Who was from a female? ".

- Frostbitten Graf appeared? - Broke the silence grin Hunter.
- Nope. How he managed to forget a jacket?

    Hunter again zadrygalsya laughter. I had already begun to 
suspect that he knows more than he says.

- Do you pohavat something to eat? And then today I just coffee
drank. - Calmed down, "said Hunter.

    I opened the door standing next to the fridge in search of
edible and immediately saw someone bra rests near
bunches of bananas. Amazement I almost naklal pants.
- What is it? - Stretching his neck, said Hunter.

    I turned around, showing the discovery. Poor Hunter'a again
proshiblo bout of laughter.
- So what other surprises await me? Maybe in the freezer
I found a corpse or part of a corpse Graf'a? - I'm angry.
- For you it can not be a surprise, because yesterday you were 
here. But what about the corpse in the freezer - it is you went 
through. - What was yesterday?? - I have already started to fly 
into a rage. - You seriously do not remember? - Surprised 
Hunter. 

    I nodded. Hunter wanted to break out again
laughter, but seeing my bestial face, changed his mind.
- Yes, I do not remember - he said uncertainly, and seeing how 
my hand began to go through space in search of something

weighty, and the expression on my face, hastily jumped up from
chairs and slamming the front door and escaped.

    It took half an hour. The horologe was 13 hours and 20 
minutes. For this time I was so peretrudilis brain reflections 
on yesterday that it wanted something sharp little. I've got

from the jar, pickles and was going to push it into his mouth
suddenly remembered that yesterday Mr.Bad Guy knocked back
sugar bowl, and now these pickles can be safely called
sweet. With the annoyance by throwing a cucumber in the window, 
I sat on the stool, and pondered how unfair life.


    Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Indignant who dared
use the bell, when I myself rarely allowed them to
use it, I opened the door. Graf stood on the threshold of the 
red erysipelas, pickle in his mouth and a package with 
something three-dimensional inside.

- Ass does not hurt? - He asked, nibbling cucumber relish.

    I said nothing and looked suspiciously Graf'a waiting
even some dirty tricks.
- Hyz. Some kind of sweet cucumber. What is it with sugar 
sprinkled ped? - Graf grimaced and threw the cucumber in the 
window. 

    I did not remind him that he was sprinkled with sugar is 
not pedagogical, but Mr.Bad Guy, and said:

- You're here yesterday, something that I forgot ...

    Graf immediately once usoh and, without saying a word, 
pulled out pack a blanket, put it to me, took off his coat 
hanger and shoes and stuffed into a package.

- Uh-uh ... Yesterday I poured small ... That had done Delov 
... - With hesitation muttered Graf.

 I stared in amazement blanket.
- It's mine!
- Well, yes ... It just so happens ...
- How come? I'd forgotten to lamerovoy mother!
- Yes! - Graf was dumbfounded. - Vnature nifiga not you 
remember? - Yeah. - I gasped.

- And about the power cord from the printer and the pro-hodilki 
iskalki-ugadalki not Remember?


    Then I remembered my awakening and the power cord from the 
printer, which was wound on ... hum ... in general, who was in 
his underpants. Well, about any there hodilki-primenyalki or 
them there - not nicherta remembered.

- Well, ka, remind me of hodilki-primenyalki. - I asked.
- XLI! Before the application has not reached. - Grinned Graf.
- Well! - I started to lose his temper.
- No, it's about I tell you I will not tell. This is even
better that you do not fucking remember.
- And it's up to me, that I had better and worse! Go on!

    Graf paused, and his shifty eyes convulsively, he is looking
what would change the subject.
- I almost forgot! Letter for you, just out of your mailbox
pulled out. - With relief Graf said, and handed me an envelope.

    I glanced at him and threw him in the side of the table with
Comper, which already has collected a small handful have not 
yet uncovered letters.

- Go on! - "I said sternly, and went up even closer.
- And I told you yesterday forgot to give the new sprites. - 
Panting, croaked Graf and climbed into the bag, pulled out a 
forgotten yesterday jacket and out of her pocket a box of 
disks. I silently behind him observed. Graf opened the box, and 
from it fell ... bra! A few seconds, we open mouths, staring at 
him. Graf broke into a smile.

- So that's where she hid it! Two hours could not find it!
- What? - I do not doper.
- Well, you know, we played yesterday in 
hodilki-iskalki-ugadalki ... Well, the girls took off bras, hid 
... And we should have them find, and even identify whose. 
Catching?  I nodded. Graf continued:

- Well, we found eight or something, and two could not find ...
- How many have found ?!?!?!
- Eight. The two are not found. Eight plus two is ten, all
correctly. - Puzzled look at me, said Graf.
- There were ten ... - A low voice whispered to me. - How do I
broke some big ...
- Well, yes, the girls were ten. Three could not come. -
Confirmed Graf.
- This is not found? - I asked, pointing his finger at the 
refrigerator, at which rose bra.

- Him! - Graf cheered. - And where did you find it?
- In the fridge.
- So, finally you have found five, I have - two, Hunter - are 
also two, and Fireman with Mr.Bad Guy one! - Calculate, and led 
Graf. - So, so - I agreed.

- We still remember, they were amazed, as Strake was able to 
find more others, and even correctly guess who belongs to a bra.

Continued Graf. - Concluded that you all had something ...
Well, times have meant one more time poimeesh. And you have 
done for winning for the win - just with everyone.

- Go with all that? .. - I gasped, feeling that now
lose consciousness.
- Well that ... - Hesitated Graf. - This is the most ... Well, 
since you no longer little, you know what happens between a man 
and a woman. True, there were ten girls, but it is not so 
important. - What happened? - I asked, almost losing 
consciousness. - The show was not held. You asked for another 
prize. - What? - I felt a great relief.

- You are asked to leave ... - Began to Graf, but broke - well
Okay, I'm home it's time - finished Graf and disappeared.

    Of uncertainty, I could not find a place and decided to
porazbirat letter from floppy, which already has collected a 
dozen two, at least (since last month did not understand, was 
in the scrap).  It took a while. The phone rang.

- Who's there? - I asked, hoping not some girlfriend, with
where we were yesterday flooded.
- Santa Claus. - Croaked tube - ass does not hurt?
- Haile, Fireman. Yes, Ass pobalevaet bit. - I confessed.
- It's no wonder - with a laugh skazanul Fireman.
- Yes, yesterday was fun - I said, without giving mind that 
nothing I do not remember.

 From the tube again heard the laughter.
- Yeah! Especially you. - Moved the Fireman.
- Yeah. - I agreed, though did not catch up, why I was 
particularly fun.

- He had to come up with this! - Amused Fireman, -
Use the power cord from the printer this way!
- Here's a Funny, I. - I confessed,
wondering what I could do this with a cord. Am I to myself
pushed him in the ass? Can not be!
- And your idea with hodilkami-iskalkami-primenyalkami me at all
subdued. Very original! - Continued Fireman.

    I nodded, and then, realizing that the nod, speaking
on the phone is not necessarily surprised that this is exactly 
what I thought game with a bra. That just do not come to the 
drunken head! - A cost that your application to change the 
prize for winning the game! I would never have traded this 
award. Just think - once ten girls! Yes, and you have yourself 
a prize selected original! - Fireman zahryukal pleasure.


    I was hoping he would say exactly what I chose a prize, but
Fireman continued to grunt.
- Well, I just called. Bye!
- Bye.

    Suddenly I felt completely do not care for what happened 
yesterday. That , that was, I decided, and returned to bored a 
computer. 

    The clock showed 17.20 when I got up to the death of floppy 
disk with the new Varese and I decided to sleep.


    Some time later I was awakened by a knock at the door. It 
was already quite dark hours, seven or eight, probably. Rolled 
with couch on the floor, I crawled to the door and tried to 
open it, but the arm did not reach the castle. I had to get up.

- Hello, Strake! Sitting does not hurt? - As always with a 
gentle smile and soft voice, having appeared in the doorway, 
said Lisa.

- Hello, Lisa. Yes, I feel figovenko. Maybe I
Massage can you do? - Making a sad face, "I said.

    I must say, Lisa girl is very naive (or just wants
seemed like it), and not say something like: "And what?"
as is usually mentioned by other girls. However, it is the 
perfect balance with her appearance: the growth of about 175 cm 
(I like tall girls, 5-10 inches shorter than me), an incredibly 
long legs, from the which was difficult to distract the view, 
great breasts, a beautiful a person with blond hair down to his 
chest and that conquers closer look, and always slightly parted 
lips, - all these it was impossible not to admire.


    She looked at me sympathetically and nodded.
- Sign up possible? - Gently sprsila it.

    Her voice and demeanor, I began furiously
pounding heart and I felt like the happiest man
in the world. I thought all whether it is in all situations, 
whether it so speak.

- Well, I'll go? - She stood awkwardly on the spot, as I
blocked the entrance to the apartment.
- Of course - I suddenly remembered, and sat down on the right 
side chair, hoping to see how it is pumping to remove the boots.


    She entered, took off her coat and hung it on a hanger and 
going been taken off his boots, but then asked:

- Do not give in to me a chair?
- Please - I gasped and rose up from his chair, thinking,
whether she saw through my plan or just sitting it easier to 
shoot shoes.


    Finally, we were already in my room. I kerf Sash! 'A and
sprawled on the couch. She sat beside him.
- So ... - Embarrassment she began, - I have you yesterday bra
forgot ... In the fridge ...
 I pulled the bra from the drawer.
- This?
She nodded and quickly hid it in a package.
- All yesterday strongly typed, - the beginning of Lisa, - here 
and climbed all in the head bad thoughts.

- What? - I asked quickly, hoping to pull out of it though
something.
- Well, for example, your argument about the plug from the cord 
printer. Well, that you could imagine him in uh-uh ... shove. 
And it stuck! As We were surprised when you showed up with a 
cord sticking out of his pants. Tried to pull out, and you said 
that you do not have that you're so more like ... And when 
you're asked as a prize for allow you to win even a little bit 
to stay with plug in ass, we are very troubled ... Although I 
do not really remember everything, may all have a girlfriend.


    I wanted to jump out the window because I was ashamed. Must
the same as he had done. Suddenly I understood why Hunter, Graf 
and Fireman nothing concrete has been said to me, but only

laughed. I would not have believed them, and even in the face 
be slapped. - And that Graf is uchudil! Imagined himself as a 
hero, said that before house without shoes and jackets come to 
that. A go-then it twenty minutes in this state. Is the weather 
was not very much. -20 Degrees, probably was. Well, we sent 
him, thought a minute or two escaped, say that jokingly. Half 
an hour of waiting and not waiting, and went home. Ah! We have 
fifteen minutes looking for your blanket and not found.

- His Graf early this morning brought it - I said.
- All clear. So, he shalyavnichal! With a blanket home was gone.
Not fair!
- And what yesterday was? - I asked, hoping that nothing.
- I do not remember ... Bottles to the ceiling pasting until 
you stand in for degrees went ... Cat your beer watered ... 
Firem an break through all of your CDs with the source format, 
but could not get on the button "Enter" ... Maybe even 
something I can not remember ...  I got discouraged.

- Gee ... Heavy today morning ...