ZX-News #19 10 декабря 1996

Юмор

Humor - Fidoshny humor - Dictionary Lamer (end).

          Selected fidoshny humor



                Ilya Fomin



            Gorbuhi by Fomin.


              Part IV (2).


        DICTIONARY Lamer (END).


  Annie Kay (from the English. Any Key) - Virtual
key on keyboard (in the sense lamer can also be found on the 
computer) is actively used by the majority modern software.



  Usually used to confirm the completion of any action. 
Skillful use of EK can be used for development in lamer skills 
of investigation. Experienced computer guru EK sometimes used 
for quick training of mental abilities lamer

(As a rule, this creates a virtual map of the keys on the 
physical, mostly on RESET).



  "BAD TSOMMAND-OR-FILLET-Name" (dobukvenny
translated from the lamas., see also "REPLASE-ANDSTRIKE 
Ana-KEY", "OUT-OF-Memory", "TSAN'T READI Maid ... "etc.) - 
magical phrase lamer dla incantations of computer guru.

Origin of the spell has its roots in
centuries of antiquity, hard-to phrase carefully lamer passed 
down from generation to generation. Each spell has a strictly 
defined purpose and is used in strictly defined situations. 
Often just a ritual incantation is as follows:

caused bodily incarnation of a guru, then give the face a 
mysterious expression he blurts out the syllables spell.

Depending on each particular spell, the guru after this comes in
rage, or falls into a trance, and after a particularly
powerful impact may zombifitsirovatsya.


  SOLITAIRE (lam., from the distorted human Solitaire), Miner 
(lam., wrong translate MineSweeper - MINE SWEEPER) - 
traditional entertainment tribe lamer. For unclear reasons, the 
skills of handling S. and M. lamer owned initially (apparently

this knowledge it receives from the mother's milk
or as a gift). It is only known
that the launch of S. and M. accessible even Lameroo
when to start the rest of the
required the ritual incantations of computer
guru (see above). Despite the fact that the game instruction is 
standard practice in any Homo Sapiens, quickly leads to an 
abrupt increase in mental potential use of S. and M. does not 
make any noticeable changes in the nature of mental lamer. This 
gives rise to some researchers attributed to the isolation of 
mind lamer Homo Lamerus, which, apparently, is lost

branch of human evolution.


  Work With a floppy disk: (for complete lamers) to do anything 
with the floppy disk on a computer. Such as: zasynyt, vysynyt, 
povertet in pykah with ymnym view. For the not quite complete 
lamer: zasynyt diskety, Press ALT-F1, a few times strelochky

right. At the end of neydachnom contact pynkty "Kompyter 
frozen. For prodvinytyh lamer: otodvinyt zaschelky records if 
zadvinyta and zadvinyt if otodvinyta, insert diskety, then 
press ALT-F1, a few times strelochky right.

When the operation is completed neydachnom appeal to pynkty 
"Kompyter frozen. 


  WORK WITH KOMPUTEROM: sit down
look at kompyter, require a blue (cm), type lex, when neydache 
cm pynkt "C kompyterom something wrong." Zapystiv

Lexicon, type text, click slychayno
PgDn, not yvidev text, begin to get
drygih lamer question: "delos Kyda is
I'm typing? ". Poslyshav" ymnogo "Board
prodvinytogo lamer come in a blue and
enter again in the lex. By doing this, I do not understand the 
question of preservation of the text to answer "None" (just 
slychay) again to print lex. Not obnaryzhiv text to go look for 
the next user. Obnaryzhiv user, to break his dispute with 
drygim users, wedged in frazy "plasma sax, befega pylez" and 
say emy "C kompyterom something wrong" (sm) 


  Citing the user to kompytery, propystit
by yshey mat thereof through zyby, and the remembrance of some 
Mazaya, and the question-ytverzhdenie "There is no text tyt! 
answer: "It can not be, because I did it published!".

Again propystit quiet remembrance Mazaya,
registrar's office (probably bad nick y wife), and other 
incomprehensible words, vyslyshat explanation user to use the 
recording. After yhoda user to look at kompyter and podymat:

"What a complicated shtyka ..."


  COMPUTER broken. Kompyter, which is not
wishes to display a blue (cm) for any
What ysloviyah. Possible causes: inability to find knopky 
POWER, nevstavlennaya in stevyyu rozetky plug not included 
monitor, forgotten in dikovode A floppy disk, the need to 
recruit two bykvy NC after zagryzki, otsytvie Norton and 
similar shells at kompytere, otsytvie Norton in the directory 
PATH, slychayno pressed the last time "Ctrl-O" when the 
recording settings, and etc.



  COMPUTER SOMETHING wrong. Very similar to "Kompyter 
dependent, with one exception. Namely: a blue remains on the 
screen, but _kompyter_ trebyemogo actions are not performs.



  Printer does not print: Indicates lyubyyu
inability to print the screen contents on bymagy. Namely: the 
failure to include Printer otsytsvie bymagi, inability to

search for a word PRESS in the menu, just otsytstvie printer y 
this computer slychaynoe rubbing source code, etc. 


  Winchester - (Hard) - Davis, the computer, which sluzhaschit 
storage 1C and Toys "Aladdin" as well as shell VYDOVZ (see also 
Beal valve, suks), established to run the tapeworm and 
minerals. 


  Beer - bad pahnuschaa fluid, direct
relationship to komputeru not have, but is a necessary product 
for life hacker (see hacker) and some are rumored to replace 
the blood. 


  System unit - part of an extra computer, which is a vertical 
or horizontally standing box in which

are cords that connect the monitor (see
monitor) with keybordoy (Claudia) (see Claudia).
Sometimes it can be used for industrial purposes,
napimer, killing cockroaches.


  Uncle Peter (a blue, NC) - an important program in a 
computer, providing it works. With the lack of it on the 
computer screen is inoperative and must be repaired.



  Suks, mastday - favorite expressions of hackers, often 
express their approval of your action ...



  Hacker - a strange creature, speaking on
unintelligible language; can run on virtually inoperable 
computer, ie, a lack of "NC" (see Uncle Peter). In captivity

does not breed, the main diet
consists of beer (see Beer), which Absorb them ogoromnyh 
quantities. 


  Bill Geyts - (Beal valve) - a mutated
hacker, creator vyndovz (see suks), often used in conjunction 
with the words of hacker mastday and suks. 


  Osdva - is unclear why suschestvuyaschaya on
light prog (see prog) absolyutno unnecessary to komputere 
because, unlike vyndovz, _not_ pozvolyaet_ run miner and 
tapeworm. 


          To be continued ...


        __________________________