01 апреля 2001

Squernookle!

Yeah - It's me, Orson here.  Just thought I'd harrass you all by
spouting  irrellivance  at  you!   I've  been  requested  by the
faithless Dokster  to write  some important  information for SE.
So, sticking  with tradition  I thought  I'd just  say "Nur  Nur
Nur!!!"

And swiftly into the brink...

So, where do I start? ("...I don't know what to type...")  Well,
Since the last demo me and Dok made (Think it was "The Demo That
Doesn't Begin  With 'R'  (Not R))", I've done  absofuckinglutely
nanty.  Squib - Diddly - Neepsquatch - Nothing whatsoever speccy
related.

Bit of a  shame, but no  great loss ("Noo  Orson - We  love you"
(Orson's dejected braincells trying  to humour him)).  I've  got
meself a PC (including, wait for it, a modem! (Christ - Orson on
the net!))

So I've been  whiling away the  hours,  looking for  porn (ahem,
me?  a  porn-freak like  LaesQ??? ...Never!)  (he  he), spending
countless hours on IRC freaking  people out by pretending to  be
normal for about 4 seconds  and then letting all my  surrealness
seep through  into everyday  conversations like  "So, where  you
from?" -  "Nark! Wibblewooo!  Neep!" -  "How interesting..." and
such like...

Apart from that, I  left me mums hoose  (at last!) and moved  in
with the missus into some crappy place called Whitecrook.  Lived
there for a  bit but got  fed up with  all the neds,  arseholes,
fuckpots,  junkie-arsed fuckups  and others,  so, after  bout 6
months of that, moved back in  with me poor ol' maw (along  with
the missus still) and that's about it!  Been spendin' most of me
time  playing  XcomЗ,  Elite  Frontier  (Thargoid-Tastic),   and
fannying about with some pishy 3D grafix thing (Raydream) making
pointless animations for no reason!

Dok says he  may be getting  me some funky  speccy emulators for
the PC, he  claims that they  now  do emulators  that emulate +D
exactly! Woohoo! Big  kahoona burgers!  (Oi  Loiks +D) -  and he
thinks that by getting  these for me, that  I will repay him  by
making more demos with him! The fool!

I tried to explain to Dok that I have NO software whatsoever for
me speccy (seeing as how I threw all me speccy stuff in the bin,
along  with about  400 disks  full of demos, games,  assemblers,
compilers, gfx packages, hundreds of screens and code, you  name
it, and it was either in there or got mentioned in there!)

My total coding  knowledge now amounts  to "LD A,6    -  nop nop
nop - Ret" (Paul Howard - Flarp! ;)  So I'm gonna have to  learn
how to code ALL OVER AGAIN!!  And lets face it, I never knew how
to code anyway!  (according to the  self-proclaimed bestest-team
-on-the-planet-ever, your hosts, e-3)  ...Nah...  I think  it'll
take some persuasion (and maybe  a smack round the head  with an
orangutan) to make me come back to speccy.

It's just not worth it!  I mean, I'll work like fuck to  produce
something, and it'll get slagged  to bits and I cannot  be arsed
defending something I know is shit!

I think you'd all  be much better off  without me. So I'm  gonna
hide behind my  PC and play  on the net  annoying people on  IRC
with silly  questions like  "Did you  see that?"  and "How  many
fingers am I holding up?" and trying to play 'I-Spy' and stuff.
Oh, and incidentally, if anyone  has a copy of a  story relevant
to "Marty Shortobrains" then could someone E-mail it to me?   It
was a pretty  cool wee story  about some stupid  wankpot-fuckwit
-cuntsquidge-dickhead and  his life-long  partner (a  sheep) who
got visciously attacked and  mutilated by the Scottish  Mafia!! 
- I, ahem, 'read' it a long time ago and lost my copy!

Much Poo,
Orson of the United Minds - 4/6/2000 - Narp!

"...And the light shalt fall into darkness - and thou shalt crap
                                                  thy pants..."