Maximum #41 22 мая 1997

Юмор

solid jokes - The voice of the people.

            SOLID FUN


 (R) KOLOVRAT

              People's Voice



   One time was broadcasting from St. Petersburg to Moscow 
"Radio-Modern" (sadly now it is not audible). There was a very 
interesting peredachka titled "Voice of the People." The 
essence is this: any representative of the people could call 
the radio station to say anything fun out of life, and then 
leading the People's Voice retold these stories on the air. I 
remember only a few (all of them occurred in St. Petersburg) 
and share them with you All: 


   1. HISTORY in the trolleybus


   Almost a full trolley rides through the streets of glorious 
Peter. On rear platform is very "warm" man. Stand him well

very hard, not only - more trouble: pants at all times strive 
to fall. So this poor guy goes: with one hand clutching the 
handrail, the other keeps his pants. Suddenly, somewhere 
trolley turned sharply, and the man was forced to grab the 
railing with both hands. Naturally, losing the support pants 
immediately dropped, revealing eyes of all passenger panties 
very jaunty colors. Poor man, realizing what had happened, at 
first tried to laugh the whole trolley to cope with the problem 
on the return of trousers in place of himself, but realized 
that for this he needs to let go of the handrail, but then he 
will lose support and fall. Then he starts asking around for 
help, but willing to pick up his pants is not :-(. Man decided 
to take a desperate step - lets the rail and leans over to 
pants. At this point, trolley zarulivaet abruptly to a halt 
man, left without support and without having to pull pants 
falling. AND poor guy falls so that his head is on the bottom

stair steps, and part of the body, dressed in a jaunty subject
Coloring is the most senior position, and this most merry with 
a loud bang ..... The trolleybus is already at the bus stop, 
rear doors can not open (prevents unfortunate man's head), and 
the whole cabin shakes with laughter. Thank God, found a good 
man, he lifted up his man and helped him put on the ill-fated 
pants. That's something to drive drunk in public transport. 


   2. STORY WITH A BUS


   In the morning, when most people go to work, chock-full bus 
crawling along your route. His unsuccessful overtaking truck - 
on the side of the bus is big and deep scratches from contact 
with the body. Drove the truck as if nothing had happened drove 
on, ignoring the frantic signals to the driver bus. And then 
the bus engine roared! In the heat of rush began behind is a 
few stops with the crowds of potential passengers, then do the 
bus went out of the route. Somewhere on outskirts of the truck 
started to go to White Castle, and the bus driver realized that 
his crowded car reptile will not be able to catch up. He 
stopped, caught a passing car and continued to chase next. Well 
at least realized the door open. The passengers were in deep 
shock - called on the congress ZH8-().... 


   3. Such is the exercise EVENING ...


   By evening the Moscow avenue walking peasant. Shel
his people, not meddling with anyone, sober, just walking. 
Nearby tram stop and from there went Cheverie good fellows and 
went to the little man. Approaching him, they like to say: 
"Man!" Now you probably think you just go for a walk? "No, man, 
you're out in the tram going. Do you think that you are driving 
a an honest man? No, you go as the last hare! And we - the 
controllers! So pay a fine! " 


   Muzhichek trying to prove their innocence to the tram hares, 
but it is simply overpowered and stuffed in a tram (it was 
where to stay), rode with him a couple of stops and put into 
police as violators of the rules of travel. Because the man was 
not carrying any documents, no money (he went for a walk) from 
the police released him only in the morning ... 


   4. PROTECT CATS AGAINST THE WIND!


   Peter is famous for its strong winds. It is because of the 
strong wind occurred following story. The girl decided to 
ventilate his apartment and opened the window. Immediately 
rushed into the room air raised lots of different bills. Côte 
this girl watched with interest the flight leaves, and when one 
of them suddenly flew through the open window, kotyara jumped 
after him. The girl (she lived on the floor 7-8) ran to the 
window and managed to see the cat incident. She embraced the 
horror: the very strong winds attributed flying beast on the 
roadway with heavy traffic at that time. To place an alleged 
falling cat approached the truck with a long trailer. Fate was 
kind to animals: the cat landed right in the body of the 
semitrailer. The machine continued its motion, and the girl 
watched in despair departing from her favorite. And then the 
truck almost disappeared from sight, the girl (almost 
hysterically) sees that the car turns around and goes back. 
Through a few moments the truck brakes at the front door of her 
home, nothing Unaware of the driver goes, but a girl can only 
go down to the car and pick up from the back of the frightened 
cat.