Optron #23 19 января 1999

Юмор

ZX-waggons - The Irish ditties - Limerick.

  But - for the Christmas holidays! - Set aside the newspaper 
and just walk on the Internet. Vaughn - is seen in the distance

rambler.ru. Let's go there! ..

  Oh, we already drifted to the woodcocks Damn ...
And here something - look - Limerick! They are also
called "Irish ditties." Well, that
what it is - somehow in the next
times. And yet - simply Meet.


  The main Limerick - to the form were strictly, but by the 
content - is ridiculous. Here examples of conformity to all the 
canons: 

Two girls from Elektrostal
Once the flowers delights disrupted.
But the faded flowers, and grow bellies
Do those girls from Elektrostal.

He lived on Capri capricious corporal
He yelled and screamed and yelled,
But he married - and now - more than he yells,
And only a pitiful whimpering Cpl.

             Mila Preduschenko


  But - "Bohemian":

He lived in Paris, the artist Picasso,
Ate for breakfast smoked meat.
Disgusting, really, their bohemian mores -
Starving masses!

Musician from the distant Rio
Insulted somehow Igor Kio -
And now the bully turned into a drum,
And it trains the trio.

          Anatoly Belkin

With singer Moses Boreyu
A funny story came out:
Their sex in order, he changed many times
How not to dream of a ciliate!

              Anatoly Belkin

They say that the Tambov wolf
Ate two rows of AWOL,
And one general luggage collected,
And - in Israel. Usually interpreted ...

                    Yuri Censor

Being on a platform of "Factory"
Said the girl CAPITAL:
- Nick down: live with you in the woods
I agree, but only for cash!


  Have not been forgotten and their habits:

They say that when the firm "Chanel"
There are in Paris, a luxury brothel.
If it's sleep time so seventy-five
'll Smell like an old dog.

They say that a KGB agent
Three days of sitting on the lip:
Nechay was in New York
Drive on the "Eight"
And the "Kalinka" to play the trumpet!

It is said that the election of Pope,
If you give, who should, in the leg -
Cardinal's men will not hesitate to elect
You want - Chukchi, and you want - negro.

                 Anatoly Belkin

Die while the Pope has come.
In the Vatican called the prince of Nepal.
Prince appeared before the Pope ...
And the pontiff said:
"Petya, my friend, how do we scattered!"

Having inspected the crew of the Challenger,
Launched on a flight to Venus
Muttered the commander:
- Is there a single
Venereal diseases among us, officer?

             Anatoly Belkin

For dental treatment in Salt Lake City
Apply roasted nuts in dynamite:
A bite and - hello: your teeth do not!
Everybody is happy, everybody knows ask!

                  Sergei Satin

Clinton was a strict moral rules:
Dame asked for oral pleasures.
But could order! You can not refuse
Treatment of the federal government!

                     Margulis

President on behalf of Billy
Women are very much loved.
To skandalets hush, he decided to fight.
So the women just world is not ruined!

                           A. Cohn

If suddenly a man with a gun
Obzovet reptile Yeltsin mat
Something goes wrong at the cry of the ugly old man ...
Whether it was in the Crimea, with Gorbatov!

                     Yuri Censor


  But - "local color":

They say the girls Carpathian
Extremely short dresses.
A laundry does not! So he sees the whole world
What he would like to see me.

National anthem of Ukraine
Red Guards performed an encore.
The whole choir was interrupted - not a little angry
Turned out to be ambassador to Ukraine.

Once a vagabond from Daugavpils
"White Stork" vusmert bathed
And he said: "Sorry, the river is far from me,
I'd better go drown myself! "

Muslim, Abu Simbel, Ben
Whisky table spoon ate.
To the question, what is the reason
He said: "Durachina!
Drink alcohol Allah had not commanded "

                    Vladimir Gurvich

Undertaker from distant Nigeria
Times caught stealing in a pizzeria.
Was harsh sentence:
"Gobble up all that is SUPER!" -
After all, the judge studied with Beria.

              Vera Matveeva


  And here's birth:

The store "Chukchi Dali
I sold a new Computer.
There are three circuits, diodes,
Mouse, screen, drive ...
Interpretation painful stiff pedal.

I'm quite new to the Internet,
But already lured into its network.
Let them is hurt, but I do not see
No friends, no girlfriend, no kids ...

On the Internet, all the links are random,
You will enter the toilet or in the bedroom ...
One consolation: love and shit -
Equally there are virtual.

Total geek physique
Suffered from incomplete erection:
He groped for the network to find a girlfriend,
But terribly afraid of infection.

This has become a tradition in Russia:
"Never pay for software for PC!"
And the umpteenth time Gates angry at us.
No, Bill, sorry, do not ask.

                    Arkhipov

Second-order derivative
Expresses the rate of decline.
This is a very practical ... But in Russia, usually
Never order!

A young nobleman of Gascony
Did not know how to dial in Lexicon'e
And blazing courage, beat on the keys with his sword
This strange Bourgeois from Gascony.

                      A. Bulatov

Once a craftsman from New Delhi
On a PC, all the screws flew.
He grabbed a screwdriver and back their hard-boiled,
Dokoy becoming in this tricky business.

                   D. Konovalchik

Boy lived behind the church. He
A business of smuggling icons -
Efficiently, as a pastor, they wrap up a screen
And Bill Gates floated for "windows".

                 D. Konovalchik


  And here - New Year's Eve:

One sage of Bengal
In the New Year gave Sandals:
Will be in the new year than to throw a cockatoo
So that did not sing on the palms, canals!


  A "one for the road" - I wish all the New Year
be able to meet all adversity
like this:

Novorussky tourists in Istanbul
The restaurant is shamelessly "shod"
Writing to them at the expense of boarding house for the entire 
year. But they did not blink an eye!


            Anatoly Belkin