Amigoz #03 14 декабря 1997

Юмор

Humor - 9600 and all-all-all ...

* U M O R *



            9600 and all-all-all ...


                  Chapter One,


      in which Winnie the Pooh sets itself

             two telephone lines

                  (Continued)


  He drank some water from the kettle and the rest of you -
rained on the smoking furiously cover modem. Water zashi -
sang, and Winnie the Pooh alarm sprang to not to -
steam burn. He scratched his head and decided to fry
on the modem fried.

  The phone rang, attached to the eleventh
telephone line. Vinny picked up the phone and anxiously
listened - Bees have brought a new fashion to joke about
poor bear: first, the tube was quiet, and
Then was heard an eerie hum.

  At this time, Vinnie called Rabbit.

    - Winnie, you've got the line is free! - Admiration
he yelled, with a lisp, as always. - Do not expect ...
Tell me, Winnie, a modem, you kotogy podagil me, he
Hayes-compatible?

    - Of course - said Winnie, rummaging in the cupboard in for 
- claims a non-empty jars of honey.


    - And why it does not want understand Tegmineyt?

    - What Termineyt? - Feigned surprise Winnie.
- Well I do not know this at all ... Maybe he was under
Lexand?

    - No-no-no-no - cried hurriedly Rabbit.
- PIF anything but a Lexand!

    - ... Or under SM1200?

    - Under the CM? - Rabbit thought. - I do not know. Must
provegit. But tell me, Vinny, you have not left
some of this ... as it is ...? telecommunications -
gravitational package type Teliksa there to get it ...

  "Intelligent damn" - I think Vinny is not the case -
Shy Rabbit. It is conveniently scooped foot in the bank
honey and immediately sent it into his mouth, and therefore not
could be distracted by extraneous things. When honey is over, 
Winnie the Pooh dropped the jar on the floor and screamed in 
phone: 

    - Yes, yes, there, all I have, then bring
did not hold the line, big-eared - he hung up.

  Out of respect for intellectuals last word dia -
the log was already pronounced after Rabbit
hung up.

  Called SAVA, which dealt with the fact that
pair with Tigers stretched the strings of the Forest and faith -
vochki they with her companion passed off as the phone lines. 
Telephone in the forest and without them, well worked.


    - Tell me, Mr. Pooh - SAVA said diplomatically. - You want 
to set myself up two more - additional lines at a reduced price?


    - Throw this tone, SAVA, - said Winnie .- Wish
I have two lines, for three months, send a request ...

    - Sorry, Pooh, - said Sava. - Tigger chewed
all the wires from the mail server and mail a long time
come ...

  "Wires" - Pooh thought angrily. - "Knit Socks
of these wires. "

    - Total ... you be forty six lines -
continued SAVA. - For installation in the period of four days 
you have to pay a fee Twenty-six forest-marks, after which ...


  Winnie the Pooh on it did not listen and threw up
on the floor littered with cigarette butts and bee honeycombs.
When out of the tube soon heard the busy tone, it
quietly put her arm on the phone and returned to
flushed modem, which boiled eggs.

  With a little energy in its preparation,
modem was a little cooler, and water, poured from the kettle to 
the modem is almost no hiss and steam of it did not come.


  Winnie spat on foot for his courage and scored
the hidden command "telix".



                   Chapter Two,


        in which Christopher Robin goes

          in not a very pleasant situation


  The next day, a modest bank Christopher
Robin was a scandal: the forty-million Forest marks sailed from 
joint bank accounts in the nearby forest on dummy password that 
came with the banking network in three in the morning on 
weekends, that is yesterday. 

  Judging by the protocol calls, an attacker, as they say in 
criminal summaries, entered the apartment to me - method of 
selection of keys, that is, pick a password to system for the 
third time, alternately signing in. under different names.


  Caller ID caller correctly identified all three times the 
number (68976) 2423324. Christopher Robin heads to hold

private investigation, because the stolen money
were washed after the operation with a drug from
honey comb, and went to Forest Telephone
Station, where he, along with the Tigers for four hours 
searching for rope, leading to the subscriber (68976) 2423324. 
Rope was soon found, but the search is not a subscriber uvencha 
- were successful: the second end of the rope gave Christopher 
Robin to the very prosaic bush, on which - torus by means of 
this rope hung bank from the beer.

 Near the bush lying butt cigarette "Marl-BOR"
three burnt matches and magazine "Forest News"
published by the publishing house Pyatachkovskaya truth. "
 Continued in the next issue ...