Bonus #18 22 января 2000

Юмор

Humor - Jokes, jokes, aphorisms ...

                   The girl came home from school. The mother 
asks: 

                   - What was asked, Tanya?

                   - Mom, like about the deer ... No, something 
in                    like a deer ...


                    - Maybe about moose? - Helps mom.
- Similarly, about moose!
The next day, Tanya, came home from school, said:
- Mom, we were asked about Lenin!

A reporter interviews a Shchedrin:
- What is a creative plan was marked for you last year?
- You see - slowly began to meet the composer - in this
year, I put on music ...
- What are you talking about? - Interrupts him intervyuter. - A 
pity ... 

- Occupation
- Stacker parachutes.
- Activity is not easy.
- At my job yet no one complained.

In the State Duma received a request from the Tatars to 
prohibit abusive for them, saying, "uninvited guests better 
Tartar." Decided: say "uninvited guests better Tartar."


- Moishe, how do you have graves?
- At fifteen.
- Ha, the Rabinowitz twenty, so there's where to turn! ..

Speak Russian, a Frenchman and an American.
American:
- I wake up with a hangover, I see: I'm at a villa near
I'm fun chick lies. I want to, but does not arise.
Frenchman:
- And I wake up with a hangover, I see: I have a yacht, next to 
the me two cool chicks are. I want to, but does not arise.

Russian:
- And I wake up with a hangover, I see: lying in the trash, the 
whole ragged around the mud, is a member, it sits crow pecks 
him. And it even can not send to hell ... 

Mother sent her son to the market to sell the rooster. The kid 
took the cock comes on the market, and first got my aunt says:

- Aunts, buy cock!
- How much?
- Twenty-five!
Well, she looked up and saw the cock Nitsche and answers:
- Okay, just me now, money is not, go to
my home, where I'll pay you.
They came to her home, she gave the money, suddenly the 
doorbell rang. She says:

- Look, it's my husband came, and you're still almost a man, he
may not understand, in short, climb into the cabinet. The kid 
got into the cupboard, opens the door to her aunt, and there - 
a lover. Well of course it has forgotten about the guy, went to 
make love. After some time again on the door that her lover:

- Damn, now just the husband, let us quickly in case!
Lover climbs into the closet, came really her husband. Then the 
guy lover whispers: - Uncle, buy a rooster.

- Yes, you go the fuck he gave me!
- Uncle, buy a rooster, and then scream!
Well, nothing to do, paid a man, standing with a rooster, and a 
kid again whispers:

- Uncle, give it a cock, and then scream.
What to do, had to give.
A kid again:
- Uncle, buy a rooster.
This lasted until her husband retired. The guy comes with a cock
home, the mother half the money, half of himself. Comes to the 
father, and he him:

- Dad, get a cock!
- Go to hell, in the closet zadolbal!

There are two flowers in the field. One friend says:
- Do you love me?
- Yes.
- And I love you. It will soon be the bees flew.

By the brokerage company directors are coming man.
- I heard you have a broker jumped out the window. I want to 
take his place.

Director:
- So you do not see me, but to the director of the cemetery.

Inexhaustible amount of humor, give us our sports commentator. 
Here is one of the statements. - Jean Ratel takes the puck and 
using his speed, goes one on one! But Vladislav Tretiak puck 
picks: he g experience more!

(The last phrase is advised to read quickly).

* So in conclusion anecdote of the week:

Symposium linguists. Report to the Italian professor:
- Our scientists have conclusively dokozali that the word 
"Stribro" has been in everyday life after a 15th century one 
merchant on the river Tiber increase in the barge with the 
goods. A replica of Russian deligatsii:

- Colleagues, and in Pisa, you have nothing stolen?