City #26 30 августа 1999

Самиздат

Beech - The Adventures of Shtiplitsa and one another in ppiklyucheniya Bopmana.

    **************** **************** BEECH


Shtirlitsa adventures and other adventures Bormann



                    continued


  - Deal! - Heart-rending yelled Mr. Minister.
Stirlitz blossomed into a contented smile.

  - Cheated - he said happily, as if cheated not his, but 
Thompson or Mr. Minister. - Did you mom in the identity is not 
taught that lying is not good? 

  Mr. Minister blushed and began to write with his left foot a 
variety of geometric shapes. Stirlitz admired his repentance. 

  Crawled up the stairs sweaty and disheveled chef
intelligence.

  - To catch - he said, pointing his finger bitten.
Major field pest was trapped under his arm and moved his jaws 
menacingly. 

  - Be careful, do not remember - Mr. fussing
Minister, substituting a glass jar from under the salty
cucumbers.

  A minute later psevdolyagushka sitting in the bank and 
languidly beat her head on the metal cover. Obviously,

such anxiety was caused by the proximity of Comrade Shtirlitsa.

  - Why do you have this ugly? - Asked Stirlitz.

  - Oh, Stirlitz, you do not ... oh-oh, sorry
I would say that this is a major strategic
beast. We went into it in a terribly backward country, and 
there the leader will be hungry. 

  - Well thought out - said Stirlitz juggling
two knuckles .- And what a backward country?

  Mr. Minister again rolled his eyes and began to think hard. 
Of course, Stirlitz say should not have. 

  - Well? - Said Stirlitz. - Which?

  - In Papua New Guinea - said hesitantly
Mr. Minister.

  - And what you Papuans molested? - Surprised Stirlitz.

  - Fight, cursed, - said Mr. Minister,
sadly stupid head.

  Stirlitz looked at him incredulously. He, of course, 
understood that it once again want to fool. 

  - You look at me - he said, showing the brass knuckles. 
Stirlitz knew he was in any case, finds evil plans of Mr. 
Minister, and therefore did not hurry. 

  - Well, - said Stirlitz wiping Thomson pizhdaka stained 
tushenkoj mouth. - We you still talk.



                   CHAPTER SIX


  In the hallway stood a blank silence. Capitol at night
empty. Previously, it was sitting bored at night
watchman. By morning he was brutally drunk and bellow the song 
"Yankee Doodle", banging empty bottle in a cast-iron pan.


  Now replaced by the latest achievements of the alcoholic
science and technology. Electrical signaling deprived
guard work, and now in the mornings instead of yelling
"Yankee Doodle" is commonly heard howling electric
sirens.

  Stirlitz calmly walked down the hallway. Behind him,
looking around, shivering with fear and kept stepping on
his long cassock, walked Pastor Schlag.

  - Stop knocking his teeth - in a whisper asked
Stirlitz. - And then there will be nothing to knock.

  - Scary! - A trembling voice said Schlag.

  - Nothing to fear - encouragingly said Stirlitz.

  Clock without a minute hand in the office of Thompson,
grunting ungreased viscera, hissed and twelve.

  The pastor went cold and crossed himself.

  - So, - whispered Stirlitz lit a dark lantern. Plastic burned 
unusually bad and smoked. - Prolezesh the office of Mr. 
Minister, will gather all of the paper and crawl back. - And He 
knocked brass knuckles locking ventilation hatch. 

  Pastor, grunting, and lifted his cassock reaching into the 
hole. A moment later he heard a sneeze in the office. 

  - Well? - Stirlitz asked, peering through the keyhole.

  - Papers are many - the pastor said hoarsely. He found an 
opened bottle of whiskey and now it was not until securities.


  - Bring here! - Asked Stirlitz.

  - Papers are many - the pastor repeated. Content
bottle is rapidly declining.

  - Do not delay! - Boiling Stirlitz.

  - And here he would slazit - said Schlag, drunk and
pohrabrev as ever.

  - To me, highly skilled and highly paid Russian intelligence 
officer, he climbed into a dirty hole ... - Shtirlitsa wince. - 
You're fat, get out quickly. 

  In the hatch appeared happy face pastor. In his mouth he had 
squeezed a thick bundle of paper, and he helped himself to 
crawl folder with white laces. 

  Pastor out of the door and said something unintelligible. 
Stirlitz yanked from his mouth pack paper and offered to repeat.


  - I say, why am I, not Borman? - Asked
Pastor, adjusting napolzshuyu cassock on his shoulders.

  - Borman! - Stirlitz was gleefully cackle. -
This fat pig ponastavila be there ropes and
traps. And tomorrow I would have trouble.

  - It is that - Schlag said softly.

  - That's bad - he said sternly Stirlitz.

  - What? - Surprised the pastor.

  - What you do not care who is in front of you, an agent of 
the Gestapo or Communist. "Why would it" - thought the pastor 
and asked: 

  - Who is better?

  - Of course, the Gestapo agent.

  - You think so?

  - Do you not?

  Pastor shrugged and they went to with Stirlitz Stirlitz home. 
Russian intelligence officer knows on what rights he lived in 
just six rooms and a huge hotel. No one dared to stammer about 
rent board.


  The pastor hesitated at the door and collapsed on the mat, on
Stirlitz who had just wiped his feet.

  Bormann sat around the TV and watched the transfer with a 
striptease. Today he is considered missing. Either before or 
after dinner, no one has failed in the pit, no one caught on 
the rope or hit the trap. Parteigenosse sat terrified 
rastroenny, and thought he had lost his skills. Suddenly

Stirlitz passing him with a package of yogurt, tripped on an 
overturned chair and a deftly swore. 

  Borman like bloomed.

  - Stirlitz as successes? - He asked.

  - I tell you right now will show the progress - said Stirlitz 
and Borman shrieking sped into the next room.


  - Stirlitz - a conciliatory tone he said there .- Let's buy a 
dog. 

  - Why? - Surprised Stirlitz.

  - Its so otdressirovat possible, it will pull the documents. 
I am in the Reich was so tried. 

  - Ahem! - Said Stirlitz. With a dog communicate
did not want. Stirlitz as a kidnapper documents more suited 
Pastor Schlag, but ... 

  - Come on, - said Stirlitz. - But which one?

  There had to think Bormann. Offering to buy a dog, he had two 
objectives: firstly, specified, and secondly, the dog should 
have been trained to bite anyone who will point to Bormann for

heel. Therefore, the choice of breed complicated. Borman
thoughtfully scratched his shiny head and said:

  - You've got to think about ...


              to be continued ...