How To Become The Best PC Swapper In The World ... EVER! by LaesQ / Raww Arse Many Speccy owners have been deciding to check out the "other side" Scene - namely, the PC scene. Therefore they more or less moved over to Intel Inside machines and tried their luck. In case you would like to do the same, I have decided to give you several pointers which might help you a bit to attract as many PC Sceners as possible to obtain them for your contact list. Follow these instructions and await the success: 1.) Write a letter using M$ Word at first. Use both Italic and bold fonts, Gothic is the best choice available. Express that Word is the best text editor ever. State that Word'ed texts are longer to fill out free disk space. 2.) Write "Hallo you out there in the fucking PC Scene" as the first sentence of your letter. 3.) Do not include FILE_ID.DIZ in every single archive you send. They will love you. They hate order. 4.) Use some old packer for archiving diskettes, e.g. ZOO. Encrypt the archive with a bug ridden version of UUENCODE. This will not only make the files larger, but damn annoying to get back to their original state. 5.) If you plan to send songs, do not forget to save them as compiled ones. Ofcoz they should be compiled at #0000. 6.) Put E.S.I.'s Lyra II onto the diskette and say "It must be a problem with your gfx card if you have trouble running it successfully". Rest assured they will believe it. 7.) Format your disks as any Speccy format, BS-DOS, +D, etc. Include a hand written note "If your drive is unable to read this, YOU SUCK!". 8.) Say you love Bill Gates (I know this maybe hard, but trust me on this one). Say you hate Linux ("coz it suxx") and that you love Windows 98 because you have been one of the beta testers. 9.) Say you don't know how the fuck you ever came to write a letter to somebody on the PC Scene, but you don't care either. 10.) Say Speccy suxx because the OS doesn't force people to buy faster CPU's and bigger hard drives, etc. 11.) Say you'd finally like to check out the most so-talked -about hardware ever. State you love the most advanced machines ever, therefore you bought a PC. 12.) Be arrogant. Say you rock and they suck. They will think you're hard enough for them to accept.