Day - A few days in the life of “White Fedya”.

 A few days in the life of "White Fedya"

 "Truth is in wine"
                                 Son of a bitch

(c) sinndtrfdm
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 "Lost pipe"
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  We have a friend here who
can be compared to an ordinary fly. No,
not because he is just as small, but
because sometimes it’s just very strong
gets boring.  His importunity lies in
his stupidity and stupidity.  And these things
Gentlemen, I am most disgusted...
  One cloudy day I was ripe
insidious plan (that's the kind of bastard I am).
  I went to the city dump to search
pipes, which took about two hours. I
I didn’t even suspect that the landfill was like this
it is difficult to find ordinary rusty iron
pipe. There were times before, it was possible
find something to eat in the trash heap. Eh,
youth, youth.  And now? Yes that
remember.
  Arriving home, I wrapped my straw in
newspaper and called Wizard, with
an offer to visit Anton.
 The doorbell rings.
- Who?
- This is Us, is Anton at home?
- Right now, just a second...
  The door opened, and she looked out from behind it.
pain familiar face, if not
experiment, I'd like togreat pleasure
hit it with a "tool" on this
self-satisfied hare. But patience my friend,
patience.
 “Hello, come in,” said the clot
molecules.
  We've passed. The corridor was darker than me
immediately used it - installed
to the “tool” corner and walked into the room.
Ivan followed me, accidentally stepping on
on the cat (you should have seen this animal, it
looked exactly like her owner. you
ask: “Why _like_”?
Ask).  With an idiotic smile Anton
showed some hardware for his computer
(by the way, he’s like “involved in Spectrum”),
which he collected the other day. I don't care about that
didn't give a fuck, although Wizard showed some
unhealthy interest in this creation. Mine
my head was busy with something else - I imagined
what will the face of a homegrown one be like?
Kulibin at the end of my experiment.
  After "staying" for about ten minutes, we left.
“accidentally” forgetting my favorite straw.
  Three days have passed.
  At 3 a.m. at another drinking party
J.Krueger I take the phone and dial the number
Anton.
- Pi.. Pi.. Pi..
“Hello,” a sleepy voice answered me.
- Fuck, Anton, is that you?  - I asked
in a drug-like voice.
“Yes,” was heard on the phone.
- Fuck, fucked up, bro, what the fuck. You
What the hell is he up to, what the fuck, you redneck
or what? Well, fuck you now
damn it's coming.  What are you doing! This pipe is right now for us
desperately needed, we are coming to you nowwe'll come if
you can’t open it, that’s it, consider it possible at the Polytechnic
don't come, by the way, remember at my place
took a hundred tubriks?  So them too
cook.   Wait, we'll come right now, we're here
not far. Wake up our ancestors, we'll fuck around...

              "Swan, fuck"
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  At the beginning of October, come to us with a show program
"Swan" came Borya Moiseev.  to me
for some reason I wanted to go to his concert.
Money, of course, I feel sorry for such a waste,
so I decided to contact one
to a friend who works part-time as a security guard in
Colloseum. He, after a bottle of vodka, decided
help - missed us (Sinn, tiden,
J.Krueger) in standing places. Naturally
before going to the big show
refueled with a certain amount of vodka.
By the way, have you tried mixing vodka with
vodka.  No?  But in vain. If already from vodka with
the attic carries beer, then from this liquid
just breaks it. This is our favorite cocktail.
There is another variety:
pour 0.5 vodka, then, through a knife -
0.25 vodka, then add 0.15, the rest
fill the space with vodka (to taste).
The most important thing in this cocktail is in no way
In this case, you cannot mix layers, otherwise you may
consider that the cocktail is "Amateur" for you
it was not a success, but it turned out to be “Professional”.
  The show was accompanied by good choreography
performed by the ballet and Bori himself.
  The show was on. In between songs our
alreadya fairly drunk group shouted at
basically one thing: “Borya, we are here, Borya, go
to us."
  The most delicious thing was later, when the star
stayed in a woman's swimsuit
in the middle of the stage.  This is where we got screwed:
"Borya, Bo-oorya-yaya, we are here, come to us,
Borya, we love you, we are already getting wet, we are already
We can’t, Borya, we want you..."
P.S.  It's good that he didn't take it seriously
in all seriousness, otherwise it was painful for us
would :)

            "Jean Michel Jarech"
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  I remember it was a long time ago, in September 2000
year on release (I don’t even remember that we
released. Ah, I remembered we released the future one
release.  So to speak, we trained). After drinking
all the vodka and all the beer, we were drawn to
new exploits. Kruger remembered that he had
there are about twenty bottles in the closet
from vodka and the same amount from beer.
Having collected all the furs in bags, we set off
hand them over.  The proceeds had to
spend it on vodka (those are drunks, damn it).
  Smelling the smell of ethyl alcohol, our
some women flocked to the coven, whom
no one in the village knew. But that's not what this is about.
  As they say, no matter how much you take, that's it
equals running two (three, four) times. But
there was no money, and there was already borrowing
late. This is where J. Krueger came up with, not
Should we sneak around the block and not
Should we pick some hemp for porridge? Idea
was quickly accepted - Kruger and I with a bag
from underpotatoes for about thirty minutes
walked around the yards and picked seeds. Sometimes on
Grandmothers looked at us, not understanding what we were for
we do this. Our excuse was simple - for
turtles. Upon arrival back to the command
center, collected food for "beloved
animal" was quickly consumed by others
pets and in completely different
interpretations.

            "So that they don't find..."
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  It was, strange as it may sound,
J. Krueger.   Birthday was celebrated
Karkushi.  The following were present at the party:
persons: apartment owner - Krueger, culprit
of this story - Count Karkusha, Manager,
Robin and your little friend - Sinn. It was
About 4 bottles of vodka were consumed. Was intimidated
"telephone terrorists" a certain LUNNY
MAN.  It wasn't really explained to me
what kind of person is this, why do they care
thank you.
 The most important thing:
  I'm lying "somewhere" and I hear a voice
Mishganov ancestor:
  - What, were you drinking again?
  “No,” the “owner” answers.
  - What(!) do you have under your bed?
  - Where?  - says Krueger reluctantly and
looks under the bed.
  - So this is Eraser (aka Sinn).
  - ???!!!!?????? Why is he under the bed?
does that?
  - What-what! Can't see - he's sleeping!!!
  - I see that he is sleeping, why not?
    on the couch?
  “I’m afraid,” came from under the bed.

         "Under the roof of your house"
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  Once againwe decided somehow
make fun of a person (uuuu,
sadists).  This time they dressed Kruger in
sweatshirt, pinned on his existential
head a hat with earflaps, provided with two
large suitcases and sent "on a visit"
to Igor.
  Having risen to the third floor, our terrorist
rang the doorbell (we stayed between the second
and the third floor to watch
happening).
 - Who?
 - It’s me, and Igor is at home?
 - Now... Igo-oor, they came to you...
  The door opened, Igor stood in the doorway.
  Kruger, not a little embarrassed, threw at
the resulting opening is one suitcase (for
weight, we filled our suitcases with the yellow press),
in two seconds - the next one.  Then
followed the bags himself: “I now have
I will live for you" :-[]

         "Surreal Act"
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  For those initiated into the life of delirium penis
it is a known fact that in our consciousness
sometimes idiotic ideas come. About one
I’ll tell you now: “,
      .      , , ;
- .         - ,

                . . .

    , , , , .
 . . .              ,

             - : ;

  .      , , - .      ,

Fucked up!"

              "Bravo! Encore!"

  If you want to have a good time then
the theater is just the right place.  Better
Anything will dosnotty
a play (well, something in the style of “Onegin”).
Take five people with you (of course five more
- one on the snout) of fellow friends,
buy tickets for the first rows.
Use the art brought in the temple
bring fuel with you (if your theater
sell vodka, you can buy it at
place).  Then sit comfortably on
in your places and start watching.  C
jump up every 15-20 minutes
seats and, applauding, shout: “Bravo!
Encore!"