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From the editor: we present to your attention-
I'll give you an excerpt from the sensational book "The Gospel"
not from the Mitki." We hope you enjoy it
curl.
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GOSPEL OF MITKI
The life of the great Mitka Jesus by nickname
Christ and how he dragged himself and how he
killed by enemies.
Chapter 1
In the beginning, everything was a damn thing.
And God didn’t give a damn.
And God gave a damn to everyone.
Chapter 2.
Then the fellow Joseph was hipping, carpentering and
strained.
And when the time came, he felt the urge
marry party girl Maria.
And my sister didn’t mind either.
And he took her to his hut, but he
turned out to be weak.
I visited her several times a day and
left empty-handed.
And Maria lost hope of getting high.
Chapter 3
And God saw that Joseph was not going to
borscht, nor to the Red Army.
And Maria, his wife, dies,
sieve
And He decided to make things nice for Mary.
At night he entered her house, but Mary did not sleep -
la.
She noticed someone coming in and said: “But not by
- would you go, dude?!"
The Lord answered her: “I am the one you
you're waiting." Maria rejoiced and shouted: "
Thank God, I waited, come here!"
But the Lord was cool and answered: “Raska-
you're rubbing your lips, little sister."
Maria responded: “So, Lord!” And hear-
The voice of an angel is heard: "Maria, tighten the wick
lek, smokes. And she tightened the wick, and
The Lord came in to her.
And in the morning he disappeared, saying: “He will be born at
you, sister, are a cool dude and he will be
real mitko.
But Maria crushed the mass in the lula and did not hear
challah nothing. And soon she was born
offspring, and they named him Jesus, which is
Reiskom Mitya.
Chapter 4
Jesus walked past the Sea of Galilee and saw
the affairs of two dudes plowing.
And he said to them: “Come with me, you will us-
sinking mittens.
And they stopped humping and went after
Nim.
Then they saw more dudes and those
I was also called to the session.
And there were five brothers.
And they went to the villages to take care
those who have no idea.
And they got many.
People trudged away from them and followed, catching
an unearthly buzz, in anticipation of an eternal thrill.
For this is what Christ promised them.
Chapter 5
And Jesus heard that there was a race in the desert,
Xia devil.
And I decided to overcome it.
But He went without eating for forty days and reached
to the handle.
But the adversary was cunning and planned evil.
“Tense yourself,” he says, “turn the stones
fuck off, because you have nothing to eat."
Jesus answered him: “It’s a sin to use Mitka.”
the vile strain for the sake of his belly."
Toga the enemy approached him a second time and
says: “Get off the cliff, because it seems like nothing
what you won't have."
Jesus answers: “Look where I am,
where is the rock! It's all pampering."
The devil moves in for the third time: “Prize-know that my son is in front of me and I’m all for you
I will give you peace."
Jesus to him: “Why do I need him? I don't have
so much space, it’s a bummer for me.”
And the enemy realized that they had completely fucked him
height
Chapter 6
Coming from the desert, Jesus gathered a session from
Bros and dudes.
And he taught his sons saying: “Don’t strain yourself.
neither in your life, nor in your thoughts,
for only those who revel in it get high.
Don't dress pop, because only those
happy, who gives a damn.
Don't hang around with suckers and bigots, because
they are fussy.
Don't neglect drinking, but also be aware
measure.
Don't hammer unnecessarily, but for the sake of distraction.
Let everything be so perfect for you,
so that the left hand does not know what the right hand is doing
wai.
Do not worry about food and shelter, for only
without tension it will break off for you.
Don’t ask and it will be given to you, don’t seek
you will find it. And the one who does it
oops.
Chapter 7
So I’m telling you, who won’t let everything happen?
ku, he won’t reach his full height.”
Someone, coming closer, asked: “What?
make sure everything goes well?"
Jesus said: "Take it all in
Only I can, and everyone will be tense.
But still do what is commanded and
you'll get it."
The questioner replies: “And that’s all I
I know that."
And Jesus said to him: “Don’t haggle, that’s all.”
will break off."
But after that the questioner broke down and
fucked off.
Chapter 8
And it was necessary to move it further, and led
He's a little brotherlake.
And they looked for a boat and could not get it
dad.
Jesus seeing this said: “If you have an urge
you won't get it!"
The brothers didn’t get it, they asked again.
And He was indignant: “What word do you not-
understand?"
They huffed and answered: “Boats.”
no, how to move on?"
Jesus answered them: “And so!”
And a boat appeared, the brothers entered it
and set sail.
And he walked next to him on the water.
They looked through such an atas and asked:
"How is this?"
Jesus answered: "Very advanced in
superficiality, so I communicate without tension."
And those who asked understood what kind of bastard they were
hold and decided to try, but fraernu-
foxed
And they decided among themselves: Cool, and we are in front of
him sons.
Chapter 9
And he went to another city with his brothers.
And when they approached the gate, they saw
or a chukhu burying her one and only
son.
Jesus saw this and said: “Wipe your nose,
girlfriend."
And touched the one who threw away his skates.
The dead man got up and started talking crazy nonsense.
And for everyone who saw it, it played a point
minus and they said: "Cool, and we are in front of
him sons."
And when they entered that city, they met
Jesus liked the girl who was bargaining
yourself.
And the suckers ran after her and tried to save her.
wet.
And then Jesus said: “Who is the most
literate?
But everyone was silent and did not answer.
Then he turned to the girl: “So I pulled-
Let's go," and they left.
And the suckers dispersed after sucking off.
Chapter 10
And he saidsoon Jesus to the brothers: “High-
Let's go to Jerusalem!"
And they began to report.
And when they walked along the road, those who met them
the dudes broke branches and threw them under their feet.
And some took off their outfits and
laid on the road.
So they came to Jerusalem and arranged
distribution there immediately.
The suckers didn’t think it was enough and they decided
kill those who came.
But there was nothing to attach to at first.
fight.
The idea was to have a rotten bazaar with a cool
U-turn.
But those who were smarter understood that this is not
topic.
And they decided to act and left.
The fools of Jerusalem came to Him and
decided to strain Him by asking: “Pay
Should I give money to Caesar or should I send it?"
Jesus answered them: “Get me flush.”
live, people, for the things that are Caesar's are clear to Caesar, and
the rest is up to snuff."
And you trudge along the meager amount and get high
on someone else's stress. “Come here,” you say.
dudes and eat them with shit.
And Jesus went away because he did not love
beat the suckers.
Chapter 11
They all gathered to celebrate the pass
hu in Jerusalem, have a blast
height
And they brought food and fuel to the hut and
Jesus was the last to arrive.
And He said: “Take it, grab it!”
And he poured them wine: “Take a drink!” For
The food is my body, and the booze is my blood!
And whoever does not know this is weak.
And the brothers came to the table and ate
foxed
Jesus recently tied the knot and sat because
like glass.
And when the pickled ones began to fall undertable, said Jesus: "Soon one of you
I'll be bullied."
And everyone began to come up to him and ask-
say: “Who are you holding for bastard?”
And everyone asked except Peter, who was
in a state of preparation.
And Judas Iscariot came up and said: “Du-
Cardboard roll, isn't it me?"
Jesus to him: “Duc, brother!”
And out of fear Judas whittled himself.
Chapter 12
Jesus saw that the people did not knit the bast and
picked everyone up and took them to the garden to sober up.
But when they came to the garden, they all ended up drunk
screams and while they were catching the mass, immediately
They watched as Jesus stepped aside.
He felt bad and begged -
Xia:
"Fir and burn, let this cup pass away from me."
At that time, watchmen were walking through the garden and
styled like a screaming Jesus.
And they killed Him and took Him to court.
And the brothers woke up and saw that
He’s not there and they decided to catch the waste without Ne-
th.
And before I could shout three times
rooster, re-leavened.
Chapter 13
Having learned that the suckers killed Jesus,
They approached Judas and shouted:
“But it was you, Myron, who killed Jesus!”
And Judas told them the money he had received, and
He threw himself off the cliff and covered himself.
In desperation, the guard brothers decided
fuck the tied Christ.
They went to where they kept Him and asked:
"We're the only one here who weaves bast shoes."
But the brightest ones came out to them and fucked them
at once them all.
And it came to the point where the sobered up
To Jesus.
Chapter 14Pontius was not a loser, but a rotten dude
and major.
They brought Jesus to him.
Pontius immediately explained: “Tear off, cha-
Until then, you will eat it."
Jesus answered him: “Do you know, son-
Why is it difficult to fight me?
Here Pontius decided that the speaker was simply
got mad and decided to break him in.
He took Christ out to the square where there was a party going on.
ka and asked the suckers: “Shall we kill Him?”
And the suckers shouted: “Water him! Wash him!”
And Pontius listened to them.
Chapter 15
And the suckers killed Jesus.
He hung on the cross and felt that
Worry about Him.
And he prayed: “Fir-palm, Lord, I stick
!"
But I realized that there would be no balls and no skates
glued.
And when the man who was hanging began to lash out, brother-
the ki stole Him and buried him nearby.
Three days later it turned out that he had recovered
He disappeared from the coffin.
And he appeared to his brothers in radiance, without
caring and seasoned.
After which he ascended to his father,
waku even cooler.
And God met Him and said: "
Hello Mitya. Don't be afraid, no one else
won't hurt you."
And the two of us had a divine time, half-heartedly
great growth, more than once, carefree and unfussy
sharing the thrill and the cool in a Christian way.
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