Insanity - A Narcotic Tale Told by a Werewolf on Christmas Day

Narcological Fairy Tale
    Told by a Werewolf at Christmas

 Yes! Now I'm going to fuck her!!! No, come on...
obviously - New Year, it should turn out so-
what a kind, affectionate fairy tale with gnomes
and good fairies... I’ll just grab some beer
eight sips, and I’ll finish a fabulous joint
or what...

 This... Where? Oh, yes! Fairy tale! By the way, in
The New Year should come to children like this
kind, with a sweet smile on the face of Dead Mor-
oz... Right now I’m telling you, kids, about him
Nah, I’ll just swallow the wheel...

 Well then... In distant and cold Norway-
Gigi sat in the bushes and froze his balls off
Satan Piguin... Eh, that is, Dead Moroz..
And not in Norway, but in the Norwegian Forest, and not
in the bushes, and in a little house without windows and doors.
And he didn’t freeze anything, but on the needle
sat thoroughly. About Satan Pinguina this
I, kids, remembered another fairy tale - old
ugly and angry. And this is kind and pure...
 - Damn, where did all the beer go???

 In general, he sat there, widening. And his under-
Ruga is a nirvanoid wallet, at this time
had an affair with another Dead... Well
his gopnik is half-cut... Well, in general, the sound
or his Grandfather Mazda. He himself was weak and mentally
and body, so he gathered around himself a whole
tribe of shaved Mazdaians. They walked around the world
that white man, they put good people on his ass...
Well, Moroz’s wallet was bought for life
their sweet and the backs of their heads are shaved...
 - Anyone?! Send a messenger for beer,
motheryour...

 Sorry kids, I'm not the one for you. Here. So
this chick, well, you kids should know her, her
It’s also good to rhyme with the Tibetan Guru... And
I remembered - Snow Maiden or something like that. Shake-
Al her Dead Moroz, she wanted to live only with
Let's go. Well, she ran into Moroz and
gave a dressing down, like, you’re sitting here in the dark
those are all overgrown, full of shit from you and va-
You can’t do shit anymore... Well, like in fairy tales
as usual, Moroz was saddened - he realized that he
Ksu they take him to the left. And he decided that
it's time to give everyone some pies
turkey... He collected a couple of grams in a bag
nat, loads of cartridges, gas canisters
with stun guns, a dozen brass knuckles, four
re baseball bats, gun system Mac
arov and three sawn-off shotguns. Put on a biker jacket and hung it up
chains, pulled on pointed shoes, a bandana with
angry shards. I put a joint in my mouth with
selected slut, put a pack of condoms in your pocket
domestic willows and angrily blowing his nose,
taxied into the light of day...
 The cold is gloomy, the snot is frozen -
to the chin. He whooped, whistled and
gloomy Norwegian forest jumped out mighty
such a horned buffalo. Well, like he's been there for a long time
y corefan was. Harnessed Moroz its founder
flax. I hitched the wheelbarrow according to misinformation, put it in the wheelbarrow
got a couple of Zhigulevsky boxes and cool fairies
how many fabulous ones fit. I sat down in the middle
this holiday and uncorking the first bottle
teeth, shouted loudly...
 - Yeah, well, finally the beer was brought!!!

 Found outMazda that Moroz is shaggy on the non-
he went to war and decided to send him
a fierce tribe, a shaven tribe. In the dark corners
in the damp streets and gateways, he found the gloomy
silent, silent non-humans. For their name was:
Skins. He bribed them heavily with imported money
gave it to me and gave me domestic ink to drink. In general
He gave orders to kill Dead Moroz...
 Moroz is riding through the forest. From the drunkard and the kumar,
that a dense fog spreads behind the wheelbarrow all
living creatures in the area are in an unearthly ecstasy
et. From the evil music, all the icicles in the forest
got hit, from a three-story mat, every way
gives and respectfully passes.
 In general, I drove myself, didn’t bother anyone, nor
who was not bothering anyone, when suddenly a buffalo sharply
I hit the brakes. Firmly Moroz chin
cracked on the buffalo's butt. Two bottles of beer
poured one fairy fairy into ecstasy
I didn’t have time to eat - in general, the whole buzz was ruined.
 - Well, to edit yours through your mother's zapendrenins-
what a cunning little one, - announced Moroz
space and already wanted to pick it up
a buffalo for a broken piece, when suddenly he saw
gave in the middle of the road a detachment of Skins that stood
whether shoulder to shoulder, with fists worth a pound
back and of three individuals consisting...
 Even though Moroz was stoned, he realized
that these are Mazdai's tricks. Since childhood he has been a friend
ha Skina had and didn’t want to with this pl-
The glorious and the evil quarrel. Came out
he's in the middle of the road and in a loud voice he says
grew up:
 - Who will you be, good fellows???
 - I ? -The tallest one shouted, “Ilya Mur-
oGERMAN!
 - I ? - The middle one introduced himself, - Do-
Brozlynya Nikitich!
 “And I,” proudly added the shortest and
not average, - Alyosha SAMTYASS.
 - And I'm Dead Moroz. Where are you heading and how?
Why don’t you want a goat, that is, my buffalo?
should you miss it?
 - Yes, that’s the order we were given to you not to be shaggy
let into the realm of the Informal, and if you
if you start to swell, then the horns will become
wash.
 - No way, Might you, Free artists -
bribed the marauders? Ay-yay-yay, - at-
Moroz Skinov was ashamed.
 “Don’t shame us Dead Moroz,” Al asked.
Yesha SAMTY ASS, - Everyone needs money.
 - What about your fighting spirit? Your brutal
sadistic ways?! Are you ready
work for an undercut bastard??? I thought -
Wake up and come to your senses!!! - Said a clever phrase
Moroz and from such an ability to speak beautifully,
I went nuts.
 The Skins really thought about it
what Dead Moroz said. We thought for a long time... Very...
a long time. The sun managed to make two faces on
writhe the sky and get paid twice for it
from the moon. Moroz has already started to run out
beer and fairy fairies were already tired of the pre-
domestic, reusable condoms.
 Moroz began to lose patience. He got out
from the car and loudly asked:
 - Well, dudes, are we just going to stand here?!
 “Okay,” Skins agreed, “We’ll pass-
we'll stimulate you, but you'll have to give us a gift
ki give - New Year after all, in general
give me a cigarette.
 FraternizedMoroz with Skins, treated them
cigarettes, gave everyone a personalized gr-
Anata and the fairy fairy, cut their own with them
bottle of Imperial, advised Alyosha to place
take SAMTYASS, on Popunabyevich and izra-
the bottom of the drunk continued on its way...
 Wait kids, beer doesn't excite me anymore
Nevermind, I’ll add a couple more wheels, yeah
I'll start a new joint...

 ...Yyyy!!! Wow, so what am I on?
tanned? On what? Who's the Ass? A!!! Well
yes, in general, our Dead Moroz continued
its not an easy path further. He's going
walks through the cold Norwegian forest, and at the
maybe withdrawal symptoms have already begun: don’t drink, don’t
smoking, let alone injecting, or inhaling -
and there's nothing to say...
 And at this time Mazdai had already been informed of his ma-
It's a good thing that he lost his shit with Skins.
 Mazda tried to think what was wrong with him...
eagle to do. For a long time he tried to creak
brains, but since he didn’t have any,
it was possible only to spoil the air, and burp-
vat.
 Moroz's former wallet found out about this
and realized that if Moroz got out on
God's light - there will be no mercy for anyone. And
she will definitely be sent to the panel without caramels
lick the wrappers.
 She came to Mazad and said:
 - Moroz is a cool dude, but frostbitten, nah
He's been on drugs since he was three years old. Bye with Skins
he was hanging around, he probably blew all the crap out of his mouth, but...
swallowed. Now he is suffering from withdrawal symptoms. He needs
send our brow with poisoned dope.
 - Marusya! You are a miracle! -Mazdai cackled.
 - I'm not Marusya...
 - Shut up you fool, it’s still a miracle!
 He called his old friend Barbie Yadv-
Igovna that there was a lot of drugs and
gave her orders to poison Moroz...
 - Hey! When dispensing, the schmalt doesn’t catch. Which
the weirdo slipped it to me?!! The fairy tale fades...
Prepare something stronger, ether or something on the stove
drip current...

 How long does it take to smoke a joint, but does it get you high quickly?
evaporates. Supported Moroz's breakdowns
charming, doesn't watch the road, fairy tales
he drove the full-time ones into the trunk, he lies there, but for
bites his elbows - curses the world... Suddenly
His buffalo stops again. Moroz from
unexpectedly flies to the floor and the mother po-
any creature stands on anything, grabs onto
sawed-off...
 Thin, accustomed to all sorts of obscene nonsense,
noah, Moroz's nose suddenly picked up the smell
good old moment. He opened his eyes
as far as the inflamed eyelids and uv-
I gave an awesome miracle: There is a hut with two
oh tubes of glue, button accordions are lying around
washed, and from the pipe (to the empty Belomorina
by the way, similar) smoke is pouring out. And according to
smell - the screw is cooking!
 - An overseas miracle, a narcotic miracle,
come back to Norway with your ass and show me
who is doing such unusual miracles there?
Yes.
 The hut quacked, the glue on the snow turned
eg spilling. And out the door, to the meeting already,
with a blissful smile, Barbie herself comes out
Yadvigovna. The joint is filled in one hand, and
another...
 - Now kids, one “Moment”...In general, he invites you to visit, gently wraps his shoulders around
understands, winks with his right eye, words
gently erotic whispers in your ear...
 - Stop, friend! - Moroz says, - I at least
and frostbitten enough, but pay me that-
there will be nothing.
 - Stupid! - Barbie smiled reproachfully,
- I’ve been living alone in the forest for five years. Are you really
won't you feel sorry for the old lady?
 Reviewed Moroz Barbie. Although old
poisonous, but the figure was preserved. Newspaper face
oh, cover it up - it will do with beer.
 - Why, Yadvigovna, you have a lot of dope, all-
some domestic and overseas?
 - Oh, darling, it’s enough to topple a regiment
half a year in advance.
 Moroz realized that he needed this for a week
stop fooling around.
 - Okay old one, take your little ones to the mansion -
little ones, just give me something, otherwise it’s such a pain
that you can die...
 - By the way, the beer is out again... Are you there?
what do you think, storytellers???

 The cunning Yadvigovna Moroz led him into the mansion
yours. She gave me something to drink, fed, and put to bed. A
she herself rejoices - she gave a strong potion, nor
one fellow did not remain alive after this -
th. Sits, grandmother Mazdaev knocks and waits
when Moroz throws off his hooves.
 “Hey grandma,” Dead Mo suddenly says.
roz, - you've been rustling papers there for a long time
will you? Come on, come here, otherwise I'm already waiting
I did, and it’s all a thrill...
 Before Barbie could be surprised, Moroz himself
attacked her. I began to have her in every corner -
lubbing, that under the dope I noticed, without forgetting,
by the way, usedomestic condom
vein
 Fucked Yadvigovna half to death, you barely
was torn.
 - Have mercy, good fellow!!! - I begged
old woman, - I confess, I wanted to poison you, yes
just not of your own free will. Nasty Mazda
talked me into it. I didn't know that hardening
Well done Norwegians, such an extraordinary, in-
Otherwise I would triple the dose...
 - Well, you’re an undercut bastard, you’ll immediately re-
Lela? - Moroz exploded, - Come on, take it all
the crap that's in the house. And don't think anything
hide it, I’ll arrange such pornography for you - until
At the end of your life you will shy away from men!
 Barbie rushed into the basements and dragged out a whole
suduk. Moroz looked at it and almost
I was filled with happiness. Tubes, boats, cubes,
records, rods and other goodies...
 “In general, so, old woman,” hefting the chest
Moroz said sternly onto his shoulders, “I’m stupid.”
I am depriving you under article such and such, decree so-
wow: “Sale and possession of Drugs”...
 - Under what article? - I tried the old way -
Oh, yes, it’s stupid to clarify Barbie.
 - Quiet, you fool. He said the money tomorrow, I know
it's coming tomorrow...
 For a long time Jadwiga stood in the wind, sending pr-
Mazda curses for such a client...
 Moroz rides through the forests and fields. Fey sk-
pleases as many as possible from the trunk one by one,
I'm dragging myself from the endless buzz that...
dka for pickled cucumber...
 And Mazdai is again tormented by thoughts and thoughts.
I already listened to a rave and walked through the turnips - no
no idea other than getting drunk on vodka, yes
playing billiards with my brosroll the balls... For-
he again gives in to the nirvanoid wallet.
 - You're an informal chick, I'm under the article
you want to let me down with your fucking Moroz
what?
 - What are you saying, my dear? I'm for you... Whoa
In general, here it is necessary to take it not by force, but by mind. Yes
in the basement-informal kingdom-states-
your tribe of masturbators and onanists. The mud tribe
scorching, treacherous tribe. They call themselves punks
Yes, they play ugly games. Like rats
attics live everywhere, everyone is in the mood for
They won't spoil it.
 - What good are they? - Mazdai burped.
 - Let them lure him into their basement-not-
formal kingdom, let them drown in the mud and
debauchery. Moroz is greedy for these things, and there
will remain forever.
 - Klava, let me hug you!!!
 - I'm not Klava.
 - You're a fool! The second time I could have already remembered
thread Find me these basement rats,
put them on their ass, and then ink them
give him a decent drink and send him to work.
 The chick Morozova tried to reason with Ma-
thinking that it’s so cool with informals
lzya. But Mazda was a rotten dude and everything was s-
ate it my way...
 In general, kids, Moroz is riding through the forests of nefo-
normal, but across cluttered fields. On the way from
He fights with all sorts of little dirty tricks. That gopo-
A little tenk will run by, or even something bigger. Mor-
oz is just amused by this. Sits to himself, yes
shoots from a sawn-off shotgun, puts the loot in a bag
okay - feed your beloved dog at home...
 And then it starts to get dark. Frost vd-
it looks like a buffalo has hornsram-
ki curl up. Moroz decided to make a
shaft Looks, just not far away the guys are gloomy -
young people with mohawks sit in a circle near the fire
and domestic ink is fermented. arrived
Moroz comes to them and asks:
 -Who are you, gloomy fellows?
 “We,” the fellows answer, “are thirty-three.”
Punka, and Uncle Chernomord is with us.
 “I’m glad to meet you,” says Moroz,
- let me sit by your fire - eggs
warm up and ink of your domestic
wow, get wet - wet the pipes.
 “Sit down,” they answer, “if you’re not joking,
Drink ink if you don't disdain.
 “What, guys,” taking a powerful sip, sp-
Moroz asks, “have you been sitting on this for a long time?”
dubake, maybe you're waiting for someone, or you're on your way somewhere
are you holding?
 - We are heading to the informal village,
in order to get rid of the half-cut Mazdai.
He offended us greatly. We had a beautiful maiden
sleep by nickname Varvara. The most exciting one
lk throughout the entire kingdom of informality. Beauty
indescribable, and generally just a cool de-
wow. We lived for ourselves, without disturbing anyone too much -
whether. How suddenly the Mazdaev Mazdaites appeared.
They gave me a harsh dressing down, they put me on my ass,
Varvara was tied up and told that they would fuck her
everything at once if we don’t find Dead Moroz
and we will not lure you into the kingdom of informality
so that he would wallow there in debauchery and sin-
haha our punk ones. And when they left they left three
this box of ink...
 “A big problem happened to you,” he replied.
Moroz comes, - I know Mazda. Bastardhe re-
dkostnaya, gopnik and our informal brother
loves to sit on ass.
 The Punks nodded their heads - their brows all -
thirds.
 - But where can we find this Moroz?
“you,” asks Uncle Chernomord, “maybe
Have you heard about him, good fellow?
 - But of course! - Moroz answers, - Here I am,
I’m sitting in front of you, drinking Mazdaevo ink, yes
I think about his death.
 The gloomy fellows did not expect such a turn
affairs. They were sad - they still posted Mor-
oz'u, all their plans.
 “Don’t worry guys,” Moroz answers, “I
I promise to rescue your Varvara. You go
yourself back to your kingdom-informality and
Mazdam, tell me that you lured me around
disgustingly and shamelessly. I'll follow after you -
chu. Mazda, of course, will want a patch on me -
wow look, here we are giving them horns together and
Let's break it off.
 - How ? - Punks ask sadly, - Nar-
od that we, although gloomy, are quite harmless
bottom We don't hold weapons, but our fists don't
so strong that the steel muzzles of the Mazdaevs
roll on its side.
 Moroz handed out gifts to Punks, what's in the bag
carried Some want a grenade, some need brass knuckles, some get bi-
I fell in love with that one, someone fell in love with the shocker.
In general, he armed everyone thoroughly and tastefully
catfish Uncle Chernomord pistol system
He gave Makarov as a gift to the most wonderful person...
 - Guys, the buzz is wearing off! Give me a joint
new or something...

 The Mazdaians sit in the kingdom of informality and
They are having fun with Varvara. They frighten her with their
Gopotyarsky look and jokesstupid, yes rzh-
ut how measured over this. Varvara alone
got a slap in the face for sticking his paws in
where it is not needed. Mazda himself with a Nirv wallet
anoid immediately ferment vodka, but over anger -
They laugh at the righteous Varvarin...
 The punks are already standing near the gate, shouting loudly
they are trying to give them a way.
 - Well, what a stinking tribe, a stinking tribe,
you lured Moroz into your punkish sins
Yep, depraved?
 “But of course,” Uncle Chernomord answers,
- sits in the dirt, cheap ink, domestic -
national leaven and nothing else in life
doesn't think.
 -Are you taking me for a bastard?! - Giggled
Mazda, let's show it to me...
 Only he spread his fingers like a fan, yes
snot bubbled like Moroz himself on the threshold
appeared. The stern one, with a blunt in his teeth,
trembles with suppressed rage. Chains
Yes, the angry shards on the bandana glare angrily
they repent and do not bode well. In ru-
ke right, that with a battle ring on the facquet,
Holds the sawed-off shotgun loaded. With my left hand I gr-
playing with an anatomy...
 - Well, the bastard is undercut, that’s good -
I was before you. To the rotten shit and shit
what a stupid...
 And here, children, the great slaughter began, the slaughter
cruel. Much righteous blood has been shed
Punks and Moroz, but even more let out nozzles
her Mazdaians. Mazda himself gave up everything, yes
I decided to hide from Moroz's wrath.
 Moroz saw this meanness and rushed after
behind him. I barely caught up with the freak. Grabbed him by the
collar andso affectionately wish you a Happy New Year -
gives a knee in the gut. Mazda twisted
ah in a bagel and asked for forgiveness that you feel-
He took him away and ruined the children's holiday.
 - I should kill you, asshole...
 “No way,” Mazdai begged.
 - ...yes, you get time for a piece of shit like that
I don't want to. Come on, show me where Var-
Vara Pankova hid.
 He took Mazda Moroz into a damp basement, where
Varvara the red maiden was in a state of foolishness.
 She saw the evil Moroz and immediately fell in love
smiled, but out of modesty only touched her cheeks
flushed.
 - “She really is a good girl,” thought Mo-
roz, - “Only she has some kind of redness
broke out on my cheeks. Irritation, apparently from the sy-
it's growing...
 He took her by the arm and led her out of the basement to
God's light, and Mazdaya left the snotty one there
- squeal pitifully from fear.
 He looks, and the battle is already over. Punks
they celebrate victory, drink ink, and
the ays are tied up with harsh ropes and one at a time
they throw it into the stinking river that's under the windows
never freezes, leaks...
 The nirvanoid feeling realized that together
with Moroz visiting, there was a big lead
and now they will beat her hard, or maybe yes-
and with your feet...
 - Moroz'ushka, my hero! - She screamed and
threw herself on his chest, - Finally, you and
your righteous friends saved me!
 - Fuck off, ungrateful chick, not after you
I'm here. Just like you were a rotten woman, you are
and stayed. I'm attracted to Varvara these days.
 - How can this be? After all, ISnow Maiden!
 - Now you'll be a SHIT ON A STICK. Go away
dear, disgusting...

 In general, kids, it all ended quite
and quite killer. Moroz and Varvara began
Punks in the kingdom of informality are half-lived
to live again and give birth to gloomy children. Chu-
you nirvanoid decided to drown himself first,
Yes, I changed my mind before the summer. In the meantime, that's the point
- went to the panel, caramels without wrappers
lick. Mazdai escaped from captivity. Dev-
For many days and nights the tunnel was dug from the dungeon
raw. Overgrown with a beard, covered with mold, and
When he was released, he decided to find all his
I am vile, gopotyarsky. A leaky boat
ran, but began to swim along the stinking river, ma-
to look for the owners...
 That's the end of the fairy tale, and whoever listened - himself
fool :).

P.S. I drank while writing the story
two bottles of beer and heard it all myself
dark and killer thing: Diabolus Rising
(p) 1995&1996.

           Happy New Year, guys!

                        (c) Sorrow TM 1998
                        Werewolves Product