Listen to the story my friend. With a rotten string
and a cool garter. A fairy tale is true, but in it
hint - did you read it? Pull the trigger...
(In theory, this is an epigraph...)
Next comes the fairy tale itself.
In the beginning there was a word... Or rather, someone pulled out
wandered off into space. But it was God. Ver-
He was not one yet. Following the laws of phi-
Ziki and algebra for the fifth grade, He condensed
from a clump of space debris. Examination
rushing around and not seeing anything
swore dirty. But it didn't help. Then
He closed his eyes, spread his arms to his sides and
in a well-trained voice he spoke
ric phrase: “Let there be light, mother of va-
shu..." And the light came on, following the same
laws of chemistry and history of the USSR for the third grade-
ass, for mentally retarded children, intern
ata number two, which is on Tolbukhin Street-38.
He looked around - Nice! Quiet-
on, emptiness, only one light rushes inexorably
we know where. The dude realized that it was a mutation
him for a reason and something is all about him
beams. Thinking with your right hemisphere
perfect brain, He cunningly closed his eyes and
playfully said: “I’ll have a glass of vodka!” Bam!
Vodka in hand! The guy ate and had a bite
nothing. Only about cucumbers, Bulgarian,
salted ones, I thought how he already had them
crunch in the mouth. And He realized that He is God.
So He lived for about a hundred and fifty years. Drank vodka
glass and ate some Bulgarian cucumbers,
salted. Until He got bored. Bythere is no one to punch in the face, and somehow women
began to dream during alcoholic dreams.
"What if you get me some aquarium fish?
?" - He thought. But having completed three in absentia
parochial school class, God was
not versed in what this is - an Aquarium.
After some thought, He decided to first make your
I paint the surface so that there is somewhere to put it
to eat this Aquarium.. But I overdid it too much -
Xia. The surface turned out to be large and damp
and dirty. He decided to dry it with fire. Yes
overcooked. It's all cracked, look at that
will fall to pieces. Feeling the back of his head, He
I decided to soak it again with water, but again
I overdid it - there was even more dirt. Tr-
the cracks and depressions filled with water and became
large puddles... He looked at this wretched
and said: “What?! I like it!”
He began to walk along the surface, looking for
a place where an aquarium with fish would be placed
Well, I ended up in a swamp. He's drowning slowly
but he also thinks: “What should I do? So young,
and I’m drowning in vain... If only someone could help..."
Thought - done. Got out of the next one
swamp gloomy horned dude and approached
God. He came up, stood there and made faces.
- You horned freak, don’t show your face to me,
“Come on, pull it out,” God was indignant.
“I’m not showing it,” the dude hummed, “
I smile - I’m so cool, but you’re drowning.
- I’ll hit you right now! - God growled and hit...
The power of God's wrath hit the Dude in the middle
center, into the depths of God's stronghold...
God was burning, andwater is already pouring into my ears -
Xia, the nose bubbles gurgle.
“If only a tree could grow here, so that it would
the branches were touching me directly,” I thought
Him and... Bang! The branch is right under your nose.
He grabbed hold of it and dragged himself onto the
jock. All dirty, tattered. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
He thought, “It’s too nasty here. Ver-
I better go back up." He returned and
began to look at his creation. I watched
looked and suddenly realized that why the hell did he Ak-
varium, if this is it, start what you want!
And he began to populate the earth with all kinds of living creatures
good and kind. Planted trees, sowed
weed And the earth began to bloom and smell fragrant.
And God was imbued with all this grace and
proclaimed himself Lord, and the rock of the earth
- Paradise.
And underground, in the darkness and heat, he steamed
horny dude. He steamed and steamed until
I'm sure you can benefit from all this
to have, and at the same time to annoy the Lord.
He set up a great number of cauldrons
and pots. Having lit a fire under them, He co-
created Hell, and proclaimed himself the Devil.
Having waited until the Lord arranged dinner for himself,
a long smoke break, the Devil came out into the light of day and
began to create creeping reptiles and predators
evil. Produced a lot of them and disappeared back
underground, warm the bones in Hell, yes viciously
giggle at your own trick.
The Lord looked at the Paradise Valley, and there
darkness that overshadows all evil spirits. Crawling, maybe
spoils the spirit with miasma, spoils the grass, good
consumes living creatures as food.The Lord got angry. He began to destroy the reptiles,
but out of old habit and not a hardened way -
azation, overdid it. Destroyed half
evil spirits and half of the living creatures of Paradise. Otherwise,
what survived was washed away through the bushes, and the ravine
am.
The Lord was burning. Paradise is empty. Brainless-
bark birds scream songs, grass and trees
grow, deer and roe deer run, Devilish
the bastards eat it all up... "A meat grinder, not an Aqua-
arium," sighed the Lord.
And then, one Paradise afternoon, Bo-
gu create a creature like yourself. I thought
and... Bam! A thin man is sitting in a clearing
hair, slightly unshaven and a small sprout
shogo. He sits and wonders, what kind of nonsense is this?
fuck him?!
And the Lord came down to him and said
kovo:
- Hello Adolf!
- Hai! - The first man smiled.
- Now you are My Son. I created you and gave you
Hands for you - touch everything with them. I gave you But-
gi - go everywhere with them. I gave you the Head -
think with it. I gave it to you... However, without this
you can live. Live here, smell the air, hum-
bark, eat the fruits of paradise, drink the water of paradise
itsu. In general, enjoy your Paradise buzz. Tol-
But be careful, don’t mess with the Devil, he’s
he is a bad boy and will teach you bad things.
The Lord said this and gathered to heaven. But
Adolf rightly asked:
- Baba would...
The Lord thought deeply. In their alco-
in his naked dreams he saw this subspecies of Human
ka-Reasonable, but how to implement it?
- Or maybe somehow without her?
- Excuse me!- Adik spread his hands.
“Why,” asked the Lord, “the second man?”
Inca won't work?
“Nooo,” Adolf was indignant, “I’m Ado-
lf, not Borya... Come on Babu!
And God created something. Ugly, snotty and
stupid. It began to eat everything in a row,
loudly slurping and burping. Seeing the Lord
and Adolf, Ono tilted his head to the side, playing
Willow winked and stuck out from under the folds
abdominal cavity fifth, most crooked leg.
“Here’s Adya’s wife for you,” he said hastily.
Lord, call her Katya.
He said and hastily ascended to heaven,
shaking and looking around fearfully.
For a long time Katya tried to separate Adolf from her
roar. In vain It mooed affectionately and playfully
shook her nipples in eight rows. Complaining
squealing Adolf spat down and disgustedly
shouted: “Scatter, scatter, little beast. Go and graze.”
to another clearing, grass grows there too"
But persistent Katya began to gnaw on her
roar in order to get what you want and take possession
im.
And then the Devil came out of the ground to sin,
in order to look at your atrocities and, at the same time,
but, create new ones. Seeing Katya and Adol-
fa, the Devil happily rubbed his hands. But miscalculate
tal. Seeing a more accessible victim than
Adolf, Katya hummed affectionately and moved
on the Devil.
Horned was greatly surprised, but he was not from
timid ten. The Devil took out a yellow club
eznuyu and split Katya’s skull into two.
Muttering pitifully, Katerina died. Sotvo-
After the first murder, the Devil became very angry
fussed and hurriedlydisappeared underground, where
Katya's first sinful soul was already waiting for him...
Although Katya was scary, she still felt sorry
What happened to Adolf? He got down from the tree and
affectionately stroking the teeth marks on the ancient
Yesine, I'm sad.
I felt sorry for Katya and the Lord. And seeing sadness
Adolf, He decided to try to create her
again, but taking into account previous mistakes. Howled
The Lord is small, Adolf has a rib for a sample and
began to remember women's distinctive features
you. I got so carried away that I dropped my rib. A
then it fell and turned into a sexy chick.
But the blow caused her to go slightly crazy.
list, which is why a congenital, inexorable
a disease that can be treated is women's logic.
- Well, will it work? - He asked doubtfully
Lord.
“It will,” Adolf sighed, looking
for seductive roundness and swelling
you new wife.
- Catherine the Second Archebaldovna, - pre-
put a chick, - abbreviated: EVA.
“Adik,” Adolf sniffled, “you can
simply: Adya or Adam.
“Well, that’s nice,” the State said, rejoiced.
walk with a sense of accomplishment, believe-
ascended to heaven to observe what He had created
living creatures.
Adam and Eve began to live a family life. But
they were missing something. Looking at the
Most of Adam, Eve experienced contradictory
high feelings. Adam too. But what of all this
it should be - they didn’t know.
And the Devil decided to seduce them in a big way, so that
They fell into sin and ended up with him. He got out
from underground in the form of Huridinellaringed,
large, false horse or simply: Leech.
He crawled out, looked around and saw: The Lord’s lie
offspring in the grass under the tree, apples
The Paradise birds eat, throwing bits at the Paradise birds
they are spooling.
"Hey!" - The Devil realized, - “I love apples-
those?!" He crawled to the Paradise tree, about
crawled from behind and quietly urinated in
its roots. And the Devil's urine poured out
tree veins and poisoned her.
- Your name: Anchar! - The Devil hissed and then-
just as he was about to run away, he appeared before
the Lord himself with a net and a jar of spirits
Tom (collected a collection of reptiles, for increased
qualifications, with the aim of later protecting
dissertation on the topic: Annelids in na-
Time is no longer calm as a means of communication
with our smaller, slippery brothers).
The Devil got caught in a net and realized that
He's going to die now if he doesn't turn around
back to his normal form.
He whooped and whistled. I counted to twice
one and became himself, tearing the net for the Lord
and knocking over a jar of alcohol.
Before God had time to figure out what was going on,
The devil tripped him up and turned around
The black crow flew away in an unknown direction -
ee, croaking indecently.
Cursing and swearing, the Lord rose
from the ground. He realized that the Devil just doesn’t
will hang around here. He took everything to-
I walked around this place for a test and realized
that the Tree of Paradise is poisoned. And He said
Adam and Eve, so that they would not dare to eat apples -
ki from this tree. WITHthe rest is possible, then-
only recently the Birds of Paradise have been stinging
began to buzz... Throwing bits on TV
aryam of God - from now on it is prohibited.
Adolf and Catherine II listened and
whether to eat apples from another tree (so
Moreover, Anchar smelled like kilos of urine -
ter and killed outright all living things with one thing -
only by smell), and the stubs, to the delight of the Lord,
oh, they started shooting at the creeping reptiles, yes
evil creatures.
The Devil found out about this and planned something bad.
Turning into a fruit worm, he crawled onto
Anchar began to devour the poisonous food with a delicious crunch.
twisted apples and praise. Ate a lot and
Adam and Eve - zero attention. How can he not
gnawed as hard as he could... Finally, from indigestion,
Eating stomach, the Devil felt bad. Hook-
holding onto a branch, he hung upside down, with
a half-eaten apple squeezed into the mouth. Hanging.
The wind blows it and sways it.
Adam looked - the reptile was hanging on a tree. Price-
poured and threw a stub at him. Got it, eh
the bastard doesn't move.
“Look,” he says to Eve, “the creeping reptile.”
hanging on Anchar, holding an apple in his mouth. Neither
like dead.
The half-dead Devil heard this and said:
take the squeezed apple:
- Opmanul fas Pok, this is fe... Ugh, - out-
He licked the rotten fruit, - This is not poison, but great-
Cue the buzz. And I didn’t die, but I’m having fun
the full program, depending on how good it is.
Adam and Eve became nervous. I wanted a buzz-
s. But the damned worm does not calm down:
- Try it! At least take a bite. Co-
lIt will become bitter - you will have time to spit it out.
Eve reached out to the tree. And Adam is standing
like a stump, he fears the wrath of God, and even the worm
somehow it doesn’t inspire confidence - it’s too painful
he looks rumpled.
- Why are you deceiving? - Asked Adam.
- Yes, you can see for yourself, I eat them and nothing!
For clarity, the Devil ate another
apple. From excess glitches, he felt sick
everyone is in trouble. Turned green all at once, eyes on
rollout And with the last of his strength he croaked: “That’s it,
I got a buzz," he fell from a tree in
a crevice under him, where he passed out.
- Wow! - whispered Eve, who wanted
There were also glitches.
For a long time Adam bickered and became a coward. But logic
Eva had a female, sick and... They bit
they are forbidden fruit...
The next morning, the Devil woke up with a buzzing sound.
le drunken head. Looked around - he was lying in
crevice. I barely crawled out. Lo and behold, on the grass
Adam and Eve are occupied with terrible sin -
Xia.
"They tasted the nobles!" - Horned admired and
singing, "I love you life and hope that
it’s mutual,” returned to Hell to wait for
oh sinners.
While making his morning rounds, the Lord saw
Adolf and Catherine II in terrible sin...
“Oh you...” He shouted in rage.
- Yes, I… - He choked with insult.
“Well, damn it,” He finally found the right one
expression.
But it was already too late. Adya and Katya understood, but
two measures, that God is God, and buzz is
high. How did the Lord not crucify, how did he not
promised goodness and immortality in Paradise - for nothingThey didn’t want to trade the buzz.
- Aaaaaaaaah so! - finally lost my temper
God, - Well, to hell with you. Live, wonder
and die in sin.
He said and turned Paradise into a semi-desert. By-
day in the sky, he tanned heavily and arranged
He went on a drinking binge, which he continues to this day.
Adya and Katya number two multiplied that co-
you're in the trash. There are a lot of them. They are all alive
It sucks, but it’s a blast for YOURSELF. They died early
but in Hell the Devil met them and warmed them with sins
real bones in the cauldrons (sincerely believing that
that this is also a good thing).
That's the whole story, my friend!
(In theory this was a moral)
All rights to this Marazm belong to...
Are the property... In general... This
story was written by Werewolves (c) 1998
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