Smile - Stirlitz was sitting in his office...

┌──────────── ──────────────────────────┐
│█████████░░▒░ Smile ░▒░░█████████│
└─────────────────── ───────────────────┘
(c) Werewolves MDM 229-5053
                                        
Ends, starts in LPR#03,#05.         
                                        
 Messenger                  
                                        
 Stirlitz was sitting in his office. His legs were back
wounds above the head. Russian in left hand
scout holding a half-empty bottle of beer
on the right is a newspaper with the latest news.
Stirlitz admired the obituary about
Mueller's "unexpected" death.          
 - Clean work, - thought Stirlitz, - Mo-
ckba may have a "Russian" box for the New Year
whether he will send it or not, it’s better with his wife
children - Stirlitz looked dreamily at
photograph of the "orphaned" secretary Mul-
Lera.                                   
 Someone knocked carefully on the door (in
Stirlitz's door was always knocked carefully)
Having brushed Belomor's cigarette butts off the table and
a drained bottle of Zhigulevsky, Stirlitz
pulled out a fresh denunciation against Borman from the table
and making an angry faceshouted "Come in"
those".                                    
 - May I interfere? - Asked Hol, who entered
toff.                                   
 - Oh my friend! Come in quickly - Stirlitz
knew that Holtoff could always be dis-
twist on one or two bottles of German
rubbish called Schnapps. And since this
for an hour Stirlitz had a slight hangover, then hala-
A real drink would be very welcome. 
 - I have a question for you...               
 - Come on old man, look how great it is
weather, maybe outside?! Let's take the girls
Mueller left such a secretary
- Stirlitz smacked his lips.                   
 - I wanted to talk about her.          
 - I don’t understand, - Stirlitz turned gloomy.       
 - The fact is that it’s already... - Holtoff
hesitated.                                
 - Himmler! - Stirlitz slashed Holtoff
lightning flashing in the eyes of the proud
Russian intelligence officer.                    
 - Yep.                                 
 In Stirlitz’s head he immediately formed
Xia ominous plan. The face blurred into a killer-
smiling and shooting at ucnyrahoro
Holtoffa a couple of cigarettes - sent the post-
the last one out the door, after which the phone rang
phone.                               
 - You bastard! - Stirlitz cursed loudly.
 - Sorry ? - they didn’t understand on the phone.     
 - This is not me, connect with Himmler. 
 - The line is busy...                      
 - ....., ....... .......... !!!!!!     
 - Wait, I'll try it personally.     
 We didn’t have to wait long, soon the pipes
ke heard the batho-drunk voice of Himmle-
pa: "Yes?"                               
 - Reichsfuehrer?                         
 - Who am I talking to?               
 - This is Stirlitz.                         
 Himmler choked on something.            
 - Good afternoon, glad to hear from you! - false-
Shivo wheezed inReichführer phone.       
 - Mutually, - Stirlitz sang affectionately    
 - Would you like to come see me, Stirlitz? By-
let's sit, drink some captured vodka, and talk
about life, and Stirlitz? - a familiar squeal -
Himmler bent.                           
 - The infection is getting dark, thought Stirlitz      
 - Well, of course I agree, when to come in? -
the scout happily inquired, thrusting
by the Browning belt and placing it in the internal
front pocket anti-tank grenade.  
 - Yes, even now! Just arrested-
They'll take me away and I'm free, - in the tube
a loud clap was heard on a woman's bottom
 - Cattle! - Shtir swore in Russian -
persons by hanging up.                     
                                        
 An hour later in Himmler's office...      
                                        
 - Pos...ik, listen, you understand that
in my homeland I would have punched you in the face for this?
 - Stirlitz, ik, stop speaking
Russians, I don't understand anything.   
Stirlitz took out his Browning and looked dimly
with my eyes on Himmler I beat it off with my hand
the neck of the fifth bottle of vodka.         
                                        
 Two hours later in Stirlitz's office..
                                        
 - Ik, I have, ik......Booo! - Stirlitz
raised a bottle of vodka high.            
 Himmler discovered it, as Stir-taught him
faces, teeth...                          
                                        
 Three hours later in some tavern...  
                                        
 An unharmonious choir of German fascist fighters
Vatchikov singing "Katyusha", twisted
two shrill voices shouting: “An,
tsvai, pulicay..."                       
                                        
 Five hours later, the burning Gestapo, explosion
you are in Berlin. Against the background of the fire there is a tent
the cowering figure of Stirlitz, trying to
smoke from a burning pillar...            
                                        
 Six in the morning. Stirlitz lies in some states
nah on the damp floor. WITHopening my eyes with difficulty
Russian intelligence officer, overcoming the headache
pain, trying to remember where he is:        
 - If they open the door and talk
in German, I’ll shout “Heil Hitler!” EU-
in Russian, then “Long live the great
Stalin!"...                             
 The door opens with a creak, in the opening
the main director appears and reproaches
but says:                             
 - Well, you got a lot yesterday, comrade
Tikhonov...                              
                                        
The End