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│ 2. "The Tale of Tsar Saltan" │
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article by NIGHT
Three sisters played under the window
"Tetris" in the evening.
“If only I were a queen,” says one
girl, - I would cut through the Mercedes and from
luxury hiccup.
“If only I were a queen,” she says
sister, - I would go to the solarium and fly
to the Canary Islands.
“If only I were a queen,” said the third
sister, - I would for the father-king general
I would give birth. I just managed to say it in the elevator
the door creaked and he entered the apartment
king, sides of that sovereign. Bye girls
were in an argument, the king was smoking in the corridor.
That's why he liked the latter's speech.
- Hello, red maiden, -
he says, “be a queen!” General
people, just from me, look! Tsar
didn't get ready for long, that same night
got married. And sat down in a cool tavern to drink with
young queen. And then, for the third time,
guests laid on an ivory bed
young and left alone. At that time of study
there were and the king was invited to them. The king collected
division and rushed to the training ground. Meanwhile
how he slept violently far away in the self-propelled gun,
The time of birth is coming. God gave them a son
arshin Golovenka is like a jug, his voice is like
walkie-talkie Genes are to blame for everything here
mutation. And the queen is like an eagle over the little prince
over the eaglet Howcow over calf, and
like a rat over a little rat. Messenger sent
messenger, Red Army fighter. So that he's on
the training ground finished off my father. And the queens
evil sisters, greedy women, thieves Somewhere
They took the wine and kicked the messenger. They send it themselves
another messenger, a terrible conscript.
Here's what, from word to word: "I gave birth
queen a day there is no terrible rubbish, Mo,
then ensign, mo, corporal, but not at all
general." How the Tsar Father heard what he reported
the messenger began to perform miracles for him and
wanted to hang the messenger, but relented
This time he ordered them to be shot immediately. And the king
another messenger on a combat vehicle Straight to
At the beginning of the Tropicana the following order was brought to them:
"The king orders his staff to break him
take the woman and her offspring to the
Mosquitoes! Hey, he sells seeds there somehow
may he live." Nothing to do: soldiers, with
They were Corporal Datai. All to the queen
A crowd of young people rushed into the bedroom.
They declared the Tsar's will - an evil fate for her and her son
And the queen was immediately pushed into the truck.
And the driver took them to the Komarovsky market
Tsarevsky The stars are shining in the blue sky, and
There's beer pouring out at the market. And the child grows there
not by days, but by hours. Mother is there in the shop
grocery, and when under "Yubileinaya"...
As time went on, my son grew stronger, got some cue balls
pumped up. And he took it into his own hands
car market and train station. People come to them with rent
the church choir praises in songs.A lush courtyard greets them. And son in his
capital, with the permission of the queen. On the same
day he began to reign, and was called the boss
Guidon. The wind is blowing in Svisloch and so is the boat
adjusts There are about forty cars on board,
tractors, lipstick, cottage cheese Five rockets
"earth-earth", there is no more... nothing.
Guests are approaching the outpost, boss Guidon
invites them to visit. He feeds and waters them and
keep answer says:
- What are you, guests, bargaining with and where?
Are you carrying all the rubbish? The peddlers responded:
- You are beautiful, no doubt about it. But we're rushing
We are following the breeze to Moiseev Boris. And gifts
dears... The boss got it wrong - blue! All
He took the gifts and drove them out of Minsk.
They walked all the way to Smorgon, found themselves in
training ground. Tsar Saltan invites them to visit,
played a little dice. Little bits of cards
They played and sat down at the table. All in
oiled Afghan woman Tsar Saltan sits on
tank. He seats the guests at the table, curious
asks:
- Oh, you, guests, gentlemen, do you want to eat?
- Yes, yes, yes!!!
- Is Minsk good or bad? Maybe there is
what miracle? The peddlers responded:
- You are beautiful, no doubt, but Guidon
He's nicer than you, he's cooler and bolder.
And while you were sleeping in the tank, it was all Minsk
took it into my hands. There is a city with palaces there,
golden-domed churches. With towers and
gardens, where the boss Guidon, the Bully, rules
and... gasped. Tsar Saltan marvels at the miracle,
he says:
- As long as I'm alive,I'm going to Minsk soon
I’ll blow myself up and deal with Guidon.
And the queens are evil sisters, greedy women,
thieves They squandered it a long time ago, they lost everything
to the casino: And a car and an apartment, and let's go
walk around the world. They began to trade with their bodies, with
walk with foreigners. And finally got into
Guidon to the palace. Look, there's my sister
dear - dressed up, cool, on her
gold chain, ring on all fingers
and the BAMVu car.
- Don’t order execution, sister, give us
will pay off with something. We were blinded by envy,
They wanted to let you know, There’s such a stir,
Well, where is our nephew? Enters the hall
Guidon himself, the women bow to the boss:
- This is, perhaps, our nephew, I admit
ours is not ours. Look, you've become healthy, you bastard,
the mug is like a traveling bag! And Guidon, such a joke
for the sake of:
- What kind of... guests are these?
And then, having learned what was the matter, his face
turned blue. He walks around his bar and with
Half a liter does not take his eyes off. News it
I was amazed: two women were killed!
In the evening in the Vesti program they announced
two hundred times, That’s the end of the teachings, Saltan
goes to the palace. His division is with him, the king
I'm very indignant. And the next morning there are 300 guns,
"BeTeEr" and two signalmen and another fighter
A rod to Guidon's palace.
Saltan himself in a Cadillac, all dressed up
bow tie in a tailcoat with a machine gun on his shoulders,
fierce malice in the eyes. He's out of guns into the house
fires, says loudly into a bullhorn:
- Come out, Guidon, let’s fight, otherwise I’ll throw youdynamite! Guidon and the queen come out onto the balcony
The Tsar leads out after him, looks and recognizes what is in him
jumped up zealously
- What do I see, what is it?! So is the spirit in
busy with it, the king burst into tears.
He hugs the queen and son, they go to the bright room
... And everyone sits down at the table, and there is a merry feast
went. Box, eh, "Napoleon", "Absolute"
two cans of black caviar, two barrels and more
ham. And the queens are evil sisters, women
greedy, thieves fled to the corners, their
they rape you there...
(GUILTY!)
...ran to the corners, they
found strength there. They're all here
They admitted it and paid with a wad of bucks.
The king, out of joy, treated them to caviar.
Well, the old prankster himself poured it in
poisons. Time passed, Tsar Saltan was put to death
sleep half drunk. We were there, drinking beer,
this fairy tale was composed and it contains the same thing
a hint, a lesson to good fellows: take your wives
polygons, this will definitely be useful!
KVN team "Treasure Island".
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