Five jokes - Jokes are back with you! ;-)

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│ 3.Five anecdotes │
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         Jokes are back with you! ;-)

                   ***
 
    Forest. Quiet and bright clearing. On the old
On the stump (P-III) a hare sits and jerks off. Well, how
as usual, finished.
    He wiggled his ears thoughtfully. Bent over and
I took out a bottle of mineral water from behind the stump.  C
He opened it with a hiss, took a sip and said:
    - Yes... Life went simply for me
fuck: women, champagne...

                   ***

    Zoology lesson is going on. The teacher throws in
glass of water worm. In a couple of minutes
takes it out and says:
    - You see, children, the worm is alive.
    Then he takes a glass of alcohol and throws it
worm into a glass.   In a couple of minutes
takes it out.
    - You see, the worm has died. What are the conclusions?
    Johnny gets up.
    - You need to drink whiskey, otherwise you will get worms
will start.

                   ***

    Vovochka explains to his angry father,
why did he get a D in arithmetic:
    - The teacher asked how much it would be
twice three, and I said six. And then he
asked how much three times two would be.
    - Isn’t this just one horseradish?
    - That's what I said.

                   ***

    Vovochka asks her mother:
    - Mom, how was I born?
    - Well, son, dad and I took a glass.
He spat there, I spat, they put it
a glass in the sun, and after a while
It's time you showed up.The next day Vova went to school,
I saw my classmate Tanya and asked:
    - Tanya, spit in the glass.
    - What are you talking about! For what?
    - Well, spit, I beg you!
    Tanya spat.  Vovochka spat. Brought
he took the glass home, put it on the window and began
observe.  At night a cockroach climbed into a glass.
Vovochka runs up to her mother with a glass and
tearfully begs:
    - Mom, crush your grandson - on my son
the hand does not rise.

                   ***

    - Gena, and Gena?
    - What, Cheburashka?
    - Shapoklyak gave birth to six children.
    - So what?
    - Like what? I drowned my four, and
yours don't sink.