Story - Bachelor.

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BACHELOR

 How the years fly by!  I remember Alena. I remember her so well, as if
separated last summer.  When I met her, she was
exactly eighteen. We lived together for two years. It turns out that
She has not been with me for about three years!
  Alena!  Often recalling the details of our meetings, I continued
wonder how she could give herself to me so selflessly and
enthusiastically, not lovingly? For two years she yearned for me,
she called me when she had a free evening. All
we spent our free time together and most of it in fasting
whether. How relaxed and voluptuous she satisfied my whims -
real desires.  Rationality melted away in my head on days like these,
like wax on fire, and her inviting weakness, tender submission
awakened the beast in me. I took it earnestly, and was delighted with
her languid moaning, from the consciousness that she feels good with me.
  "I don't love you. Why continue?" - she said after two
years of our life together. The insulted pride threw me
blood in the head: “Well, let’s break up!” It's strange, but in general
However, tears came out of her eyes. Maybe she was hoping that I
As before, I will begin to convince her of my love. Her eyes were swollen with
tears, she took offfinger a gold ring given by me. And we
dispersed in different directions.
  In the bustle of everyday life, among everyday worries, you don’t notice time...
The mind and physical forces are aimed at achieving various goals. But
The brain is so cleverly designed that this pain is the pain of loneliness - it can
bare in the heart at any moment. It happens that you are traveling on a tram,
you're standing by the window, looking at passers-by, and suddenly...
  Alena!  Will I really not see you among the passers-by! After all, we live
in one city. Well, what would I tell her? I would... I would look
in the eyes: Alena, be mine again. I need you! After all, you were
so good with me!
  And the helpful memory begins to scroll through the scenes as if seen
I once saw in the cinema - in color, with voices. It's a summer day
and two young people are traveling on a bus to the outskirts of the city. People
they are sweating, there are beads of sweat on Alena’s forehead. I hold on to the handrail, she
holding my hand. The sun is shining through the windows, people are heroically
exhausted and the nauseating smell of human crowding of dense oil
soi hangs in the air. We are going to an empty apartment to occupy-
with love. I steal a glance at Alena - beads of sweat are dripping from
forehead on his temples, his blouse billows violently from heavy breathing -
and strangely, instead of disgust I feel lust and feel
how my friend began to thrash with elastic force in his swimming trunks.
  Here we are entering the apartment. We take off our shoes. Cool, twilight.
Alena corrects herself in the hallway at the mirrorhair. I came up behind
he pressed himself tightly against her curved buttocks and pressed his lips to her neck. Hands
mine, overcoming her weak resistance, climbed under her skirt and
They began to quickly take off their panties. "Well, if that's what you want..."
- she whispered quietly and, leaning her hands against the wall, pliantly
spread her legs. I lowered my trousers, slightly bent my legs,
Xia and thrust his friend into the hot depths. Breathing noisily, we both gave
They were somehow chaotic and disorderly. Oh, a moment of bliss! As if
my body arched in convulsion, somewhere in the depths of her womb it hit
my stream, and... the numbness was shaken off. I pulled out my friend and convinced
I was surprised that I wouldn’t be able to go to the bathroom, since I was on my feet, as if
shackles, twisted trousers hanging - I had to jump. Alena,
Leaning her shoulder against the wall of the corridor, she laughed. Yes, kind
there really was a funny young man in a shirt with a tie
com, pants down with a friend standing at 19.00, jumping around
corridor to the bathroom.
  One day I took her to the countryside by car. On a warm summer evening we
walked along the seashore, inhaling the iodine aroma. She snuggled
towards me with your hot body. Large pine trees cast a shimmering
There were eerie shadows in the general light, and the seaside was frightening with its deserted
tire. We returned to the car. I got behind the wheel and, merging with Alena
in a hot kiss, he awkwardly bent to the side. My position is not yes-
there is plenty of space for the manifestation of desires. Buddyfilled with heaviness and
rested against the trouser fabric. With her small hands she strokes
laid my torso, leg and finally found my friend. In the dark I'm not
I saw her eye, but felt intermittent hot breath. She dis-
she tugged at my trousers, tugged at my swimming trunks, and my friend jumped out. She
with a groan she bent over and pressed her flaming face against the elastic friend
ku.  I leaned back in my seat and felt a sweet tingling sensation
she caressed my friend by tickling her eyelashes, touching her bar-
cozy skin of the cheeks and hot lips.  When I moaned from excess
feelings, she opened her mouth and, grabbing her friend with two fists,
began to suck him noisily. She twirled her rough tongue,
The friend galloped either deep into the larynx, or squeezed it with her lips. hand
mine was lying on her friend, trembling with excitement. Bezmer-
Great tenderness and joy enveloped me from head to toe. Push.
Alena leaned to the side, and sticky drops hit the dashboard
board.
  Alena!  When we spent time together, walking along the streets of the city,
Yes, for some reason they quarreled over trifles. You get irritated so quickly
lass!  I didn't give in either. Why did I irritate you?
You made a lot of comments to me - you don’t speak like that, you don’t look like that...
Come on, you’re not walking like that. Did you want me to become better? So that I become
the way you would like me to be? But I wasn't able to
remake yourself. And you couldn't forgive me for this.
  One day when sheher parents left for a few days, she
She let me stay with her for three days. We settled on a wide ro-
children's ottoman.  “I love space,” she told me and lay down
diagonally. Either her native walls encouraged her so much, or her joy
there was an opportunity to live an almost family life without interruption, almost
for three whole days, but she was all glowing with joy. We frolicked
all night.  After breakfast we walked around the park. Lunch with wine. And
back to bed. Towards evening we were still doing this
scrap  To tell the truth, my friend was still standing properly, but he found
It was as if he was under anesthesia - that is, he felt nothing. But
Once your beloved lifts her legs up, it’s a sin to refuse. She was lying on
back, my legs rested on my shoulders, and I stood in front of her on
on his knees and swayed rhythmically like a shuttle. The absence of passion
a lot of pressure, phlegm, my friend often fell out of
caves. The entrance to the cave was now spacious, and therefore I, without helping
hitting him with his hands, he could push him back into the
blessed hole. And here we go again. I tried it on, stuck it into my friend
and..., screaming, she jumped out of bed. "What's happened?" - I'm nothing-
I didn’t feel it and therefore didn’t understand. She looked at me with
embarrassment and reproach.  "You didn't hit the hole. On purpose?" I
I swore it wasn't on purpose.
  We got dressed and went to the restaurant. We returned closer to one o'clock in the morning.
In the ventilated bedroom it wasfreshly. We arranged flowers in vases,
and it was as if there had never been a memory of the stressful day. To my deepest
To my surprise, my friend again filled with elastic strength. Snuggled up to
me for a kiss, Alena felt it through her clothes. She became more
run away with your back turned to me. I also undressed, throwing
clothes directly on the floor. He stepped towards her and pressed himself against her back. Reached out
hands, took the breasts in his palms and tried to turn them towards him. She
didn't turn around. I tried to turn again. Still standing
her back to me, she pressed her buttocks against my boyfriend and stood
whining, she began to rub against him. "She wants me to take her...
behind me,” a startling realization struck me. From the unusualness I
I started to tremble a little, but began to get used to it. Bursting in
inside, my friend felt a dry heat and began to swell rapidly.
Alena moaned. Feeling a twisting force from below, I screamed and
squeezed her breasts tightly. A warm wave passed through in shocks.
  One day, almost a year after our separation, I couldn’t...
held, called her at work and made an appointment. There was a ho-
a cold, windy evening and, as luck would have it, we couldn’t get in for a long time
not to any cafe. We've been walking around the city for about an hour looking for
shelter, they were chilled and she tried to leave several times. I
explained that I need to tell her something important, but I can’t
do it outside. Stupid situation! She condescended to ter-
singing.Finally we dropped into a cafe and ordered coffee and cognac.
  I looked at her and didn’t recognize her. The figurine has become even better,
but the eyes are already insincere, shifting eyes. This is not her, not mine
Alena. We drank hot coffee. I started asking her about her life.
Who is she living with now? "With no one." Did she have any men in the village?
ice time?  An ugly smile disfigured her mouth: “Yes. There was
one."  Well, so how? "I was happy with him." Jealousy of steel
claws clenched my heart. "Why are you alone now? Why not
do you live with him?" “Life is a complicated thing,” and she laughed again
such a nasty, insincere laugh. I saw a stranger in front of me
man, but, hoping to convince reality, he made another
attempt: "Come back to me! I need you!" She looked coldly
at me and said: “Why? I never loved you.
Maybe I could do it without loving the house, but I don’t want to yet.” "Don't love-
la, I never loved,” I repeated as if stunned, and in one gulp
drank his cognac. She said in surprise: “Oh, you’ve turned so pale!”
And she hurried to the exit, apparently afraid that I would start something right behind a hundred
scrap scandal.  But I was simply stunned, shell-shocked. I wasn't there
there's no point in starting a scandal because there was no way to return
her to ourselves, to return our past.
  I'm not an angel either. How many women have I had? One day, at high
drinking company, when the men began to boast about their victories
overwomen, I also strained my memory and tried to count.  B
At the end of the second decade I began to repeat myself and got confused. And the older
I become, the more remorse oppresses me. I always
considered himself a monogamous man, but for some reason he couldn’t stick around
with one woman for a long time. From several days to
for many months, and then I was looking for an excuse to break up. I find-
I gave good reasons every time. But the older I get, the
More often in my dreams I remember familiar tear-stained female faces.
  It would probably be fair for every man to have at least
once in a lifetime opportunity to experience how a girl loses her virginity
girl to become her first and beloved man. But once
There are approximately equal numbers of men and women in this world, which means everyone
a man, having once received such an opportunity, must abstain
avoid such attempts in the future. Because each one is new
a successful attempt is the seizure of someone else's right, the seizure of someone else's non-
sought after happiness. And I'm guilty. Three more times if you don't remember
about Alena, I passed this Rubicon. What could I say in my
excuse?
  The first time this happened was when I was 23 years old. I was fresh
cheerful, energetic. I walked through the spring city in a leather coat and with
a respectable diplomat - he was in a hurry on business. And suddenly at the store window -
I saw a charming, decently dressed blonde. Moon-shaped
face, small mouth and hugeBlue eyes. I couldn't get through
by.  I approached her. In those years I was assertive and charming. B
in a short casual conversation I learned that she was from Crimea,
came on vacation to see our city, stayed at a hotel
"Intourist". I expressed my desire to become her guide that evening. Dogo-
They insisted that I would go to her room at 19.00 and we would go
wander around the city.
  We didn't have to wander. I actually came to her in the evening
to the room.  But in my briefcase I had a bottle of good wine and
box of chocolates That same evening I had to overcome it
persistent resistance. At first she refused to stay in the room
re, they say, it’s better to go for a walk; then she didn’t want to drink wine;
later she objected to me staying the night with her. But I was
persistent - he was not offended by refusals, he convinced her with gentle speech and
wise arguments. I read poetry to her, said all sorts of things. And
when the clock struck midnight, he asked permission to lie down on
next bed until the morning.
  She lay down with her clothes on, without undressing. I lay on mine
couch for about fifteen minutes, thinking about where to start the “aggression”
this."  Without thinking of anything smart, I just walked over to her couch and
lay down next to him.  I really liked her, and I genuinely
he began to kiss her slightly swollen lips with caress. Gradually, more and more
Getting more excited, I undressed her and covered more and more kisses
parts of her body - neck,forearms, chest. She no longer resists
she was lying in relaxed exhaustion. I stripped her completely
Ty, quickly took off his clothes and, spreading her legs, lay down
from above. My friend poked around looking for an entrance. I helped him with my fingers
and, twitching with his whole body, he pushed him inside. She screamed.  "Nuh-
what if there was a girl...?  - the thought burned me. Why nothing?
didn't you tell me before?  "What happened? Are you hurt?" I asked her
scared. “No... It doesn’t hurt anymore,” she whispered quietly, wrapped her arms around
My neck began to be covered with hands and hot kisses.
“The girl wouldn’t bear it so easily,” I reassured myself and
continued his work with sufficient zeal. Then we take turns
ran to the bathroom.  There was no light in the room. Bed again and
again the caresses of love - on the 3rd or 4th time she got a taste and gave
I was already enjoying myself. Oh, the years of youth! Where did the si-
ly?
  Having fallen asleep in the morning, pretty rumpled, but cheerful. we'll raise
It was closer to noon. And then I saw a crumpled sheet.  On
Several dried blood stains appeared on it. "So you were de-
little girl?" “Now it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m happy,” and she,
She came to me and kissed me with a long and tender kiss.
  How long have I known her? She stayed in my city for four
days, all nights became holidays of our love. Then she wrote
letters to me, I answered her briefly, but also regularly. She didn't
vilaI have a question about marriage. But I couldn’t decide on this. Your
I didn’t have housing (I lived with my parents), I didn’t get an engineer’s salary
It was enough even for me. I was an adult, had a special
ity and work, but could not consider himself independent. Post-
Our correspondence suddenly died down. Her last letter was buried.
She wrote that she was crying and saw no way to avoid the breakup,
She’s sad that I’m so indecisive, but she doesn’t blame anyone.
  Alena! Maybe my torment for you is my cross for the women whom
I left once.
  The second time this happened through relatives. "Enough is enough
You should run around being single, get married!”  - my friends told me
relatives. “I don’t mind, find a bride,” I answered calmly
and I sincerely believed that I wanted to get married. Once on one family
in the evening they pointed out an 18-year-old girl. After dinner I suggested
she should take a walk in the park. During the walk it became clear that she was already
they told me a lot of good things about me and recommended how
future husband.  We had fun discussing this topic and by the end of the walk
We've already kissed several times. To continue the same
no courtship, I invited her to come to me the next day
home. She was a student and, having run away from her last classes, came
see me at noon. My parents worked until the evening. I'm at this time
had shift work and was therefore at home.
  So she came into my house.Recommendations from relatives
were doing their job - she already mentally considered herself my bride and
therefore she almost did not resist my persistence. Kissing her
to the point of dizziness, I took off her panties and lowered my brookies
and, taking her buttocks in his palms, planted her with a secret place on
your count  She cried loudly from pain, and I felt
my neck is wet from tears, and my legs are wet from blood. Fragile female
some creature trembled in my hands. "Darling!" - exhaled
I am immensely grateful. Then we drank champagne, which
It turned out to be in my refrigerator.
  I lived with her for almost six months. We met, hiding from our parents,
in fits and starts.  In bed we had complete satisfaction - we
We went through a whole stage, trying many poses. But, as for
life together, the more I got to know her, the harder it was for me
I felt bad at the thought that I should marry her. No, she would-
she is a nice, decent young woman. But she had some
sad, weak-willed character.  I felt like I couldn't last long
to be near her - her pessimism oppressed her. I suffered for a long time
feeling remorse for taking her virginity before
weddings She took this seriously, and repeated several times
She claimed that she gave herself to me only because we were getting married. And so
One day I made up my mind and told her that we were breaking up. She's bitter
started crying.  I convinced her thatour separation will be good
to both of us. She did not answer and cried bitterly.
  Then they told me that for a whole year she lived as if in a dream.  More
a year later, a classmate proposed to her. She became a stranger
noah, and I never heard anything more about her.
  At night I am often haunted by the same dream. I see she-
rengu of the women with whom I lived. They line up in chrono-
logical order, and, following from one to the other, I peer
into their tear-stained faces, I try to remember their names, remember
something good in our relationship - something that would comfort them
niya, and for me forgiveness.
  The third time I violated my virginity was not by accident, but by choice.
owing to his weakness. At that time I was on a long mission
assignment in another city and rented a room in a 2-room apartment
re. The second room was occupied by a girl. We haven't been with her for almost half a month
were familiar.  They worked different shifts. If it happened to both
being in the apartment during the day, then everyone closed the door of their
rooms.  One weekend I got very tipsy in a company.
Returning home, I went to bed. Woke up a little earlier this morning
due to extreme thirst (they drank vodka the day before). My friend stood at 11.
00, like an iron stake - this happens from vodka. I stagger
walked into the kitchen, the door to the girl’s room was open. After drinking
Yes, I wandered back and stopped near her room. Slipped it through
head behind the doorjamb. Her bed was against the wall, she lay with
with open eyes.  “Good morning,” I said. She's friendly
smiled.  Then, without hesitation, I stepped towards her bed and
Vorono crawled under the blanket. “I want to warm up with you,” I muttered
not too clearly and pressed himself against her body. She lay there, not moving.
lying down while I stroked her stomach, arms, neck, chest. But when
I began to pull off her panties, she clenched her legs and began to
howl.  I hugged and shackled her and, muttering something soothing,
managed to grab the elastic band of her panties with his toe and
He jerked them off. Having lost the last barrier, she became silent
and, saying: “It would have to happen anyway,” she unclenched
gi. When I satisfied my passion, she busily crumpled up
the sheet stained with blood, put on a fresh one and went to wash. "Well,
Well, I thought, I need to get married someday. She seems
nice girl." We lived together until the end of my business trip. But
I didn’t feel admiration or even a state of falling in love. All
it was going on as usual.  In bed she was cold and submissive
my whim, but without a spark. In everyday life - the same complaisance and
mediocrity. "Why should I spend the rest of my life toiling
with her?  Because of a moment of weakness?" I thought with fear. And she already
got used to me over these two months, was counting on something, maybe
I even loved it. We never talked about this. ANDI'm faint-hearted-
nothing When my business trip ended, I packed my things and went
to her room to say goodbye. She understood everything already a few days ago
back - she was walking around angry, her eyes were swollen (she was obviously crying
nights), seeing me with my things, cried loudly and fell on the
shaking, his whole body shaking with sobs. How could I calm her down?
I left the room and flew away from this city.
  One day, when I again saw in a dream a line of women I knew,
I thought: “Why are they all standing alone in this line?”
what places? I meet people here with whom I lived for months. Let those with
whoever you have lived longer will stretch out their arms and take up large places.” And here I am
I walk along the line again - many stand with their hands down, others
They pulled them out at shoulder level... Alena! You are here too! How much
did my wounded memory give you places? No, you won't have enough
arm's length? I... love you! Still. I love...,
knowing that I can never get you back.
  In one breath I wrote my confession. Several times pores
tried to distort, embellish his actions - even in front of his
It is sometimes painful for one's conscience to admit one's deeds. But still I
without concealment, he laid out here the innermost part of his life. So no-
Am I a scoundrel?  Were many women happy with me? But what
The older I get, the more often I see tear-stained friends in my dreams
women's faces.