■······························· · (c) 2oo1 Black Angel The End The sun rose over the city. The darkness has receded. When the first rays the sun touched his window, he reluctantly tossed around on the bed, not wanting to wake up. The alarm clock in the tape recorder woke up. The sounds of Aria were heard, with smoothly increasing power. ... You are a player without rules, a law unto yourself, You are a warrior of freedom! First one eye opened, then the second, the brain began to lazily work. The autopilot turned on and sent a signal to the main the processor will finally wake up. The main processor accepted signal from external light and sound sensors and came to the conclusion that the autopilot did the right thing. So as not to wake up the parents, sleeping in another room, you need to turn off the tape recorder... ...But your goal is Chimera! Kipelov’s words were firmly imprinted on my brain... * * * Somehow I'm not in the same mood. I want something to do something so... heartbreaking, but I don’t know what. Thoughts in my exhausted brain rushing at wild speeds. Are rushing by images of people I once knew are played out differently the probabilities of my life. BusThe stop where I am standing is filled with people. C This stop begins my journey to the flying club, where I practice parachuting. And then the bus arrived at the stop. Gradually it dawns on me that in this state with a parachute It's better not to jump. Moreover, I was left with the feeling that someone suggested this idea. I looked around, but none of the passers-by caught my attention. I didn't want to go home. To the flying club - it is impossible. Should I call someone? No. Why bother imposing yours on people? problems? Have I had a few depressions in my life? I can handle it myself. I'd rather go for a walk around the city. * * * I got on the subway without any problems. As always, he let loose on put on a mask of self-confidence and walked past the controller, showing crookedly printed travel card. In the carriage I stood on my favorite place, leaning on the door with the sign “do not lean.” I glance at the passengers. There are not many people in the carriage. Faces some people are worried. The train stops at the station. People come in. And where from How many people are there? - my consciousness screams, - And where are they all? rod? My stony gaze scans the crowd. I love it just like that observe people, honing his own theory of modern psychology. Damn it, what kind of thoughts? - Brad some...I meet the gaze of some woman. But sharplyturns away. I continue to watch: her face becomes kind of nervous, she stands still for half a minute, - then goes deeper into the carriage. Suddenly I noticed that despite the large number of people in carriage, there is no one near me. It’s as if my “biofield” is theirs scared everyone away. Well, to hell with them little people, they would go to damn grandmother... The gaze is directed "to nowhere", thoughts - somewhere in the depths of memory. I remember my first "lingering" jump. Twenty seconds is not enough, of course, but I'm fully I felt the full swing of free fall, even did a somersault. And why didn't I go jumping today?.. Suicide for me Now the concept is distant. I used to want to block this parachute, unclip the reserve so that it doesn’t open and... fly, fly, fly... all the way to the ground, and now when I fall 30 seconds, then I open up and go down with a parachute... what for me Is this suicide? Well, I’ll fly 10 seconds longer, so what? A I’m somehow not drawn to other methods... So... let’s put it off until worst times... From somewhere in the depths of my memory the following lines surfaced: Evening comes even to the blind And death comes to the immortals. Like an icy arrow, the words pierced my brain: it’s time to go out, and again I had the feeling that someone suggested this to me thought. The gift of dying is given to one, For others it is only a gift to die.I get out of the carriage. People seem to make way for me. I I walk as if surrounded by some invisible border, beyond which no one wants to move. From the outside it probably looks strange: there is a crowd, people are pushing each other and among this crowd - a person with no one half a meter away from him. The person has some an angry and at the same time sad look. He is alone among this crowd, this herd of sheep... damn it all... I move on, completely obeying my subconscious. I wonder: where will it lead me? Or it's not mine subconscious? Could someone or something be guiding me? I see walls with pasted photographs, memorable poems, steps with iron flowers... It dawns on me that I am on Nemiga, at the site of the tragedy, when, as a result of the instinct of the crowd 63 people died. A monument to human stupidity... And why me here? The cop maintaining order near the monument looked askance at me, turned away, drawing some conclusions for himself. My subconscious took me somewhere again. I walked past the building some sports club and went out onto the site where neatly planted flowers grew. Between the flower beds there were pavements broken brick paths. At the center of it all was a stone, For some reason I associate it with a grave. I come closer. I read: "Here in **** the church ******* was founded" PeopleThere's almost none around. Something my subconscious is completely crazy to bring me here - I thought. “Well, here we are,” said a voice in my brain. - And who are you? - I ask mentally. - I am the one who is hated, I am the one who is cursed, I am - the one to whom they send when they wish for eternal death... - The devil or something? - I interrupt. - Some people call me that. - Or maybe you’re just a figment of my imagination? - The thought is not I had time to take shape when my body writhed in a wild convulsion. A moment of hellish pain knocked me to the ground. - Do you still need proof? “That was cool,” I thought, getting up and looking around to the parties. - Yes, evidence will not hurt, - Common sense starts to panic. Am I crazy? Masochist? Both? The gaze lingers on the girl, who is in a light fluttering the dress gracefully walks along the bridge. A moment later it swoops down on her the wind lifts up the dress, tears it off completely and carries it away nowhere. The girl is trying to hide her seductive forms from prying eyes, but at the same moment she herself is lifted into the air. “And you turn out to be a hanged man,” I say mentally. - Do you want her to be yours right now? - the voice asks me? - Do I look like a sexual maniac? - I ask, thinking: A you look like... “Okay, let’s have fun and that’s enough,” a voice tells me. -The girl falls into the river. - You have to make a choice: life or death? You can say "no" and continue to live as most people on Earth. You will gradually become a part the human herd, the gray mass of society. But you can tell “yes” and you will see and experience something that no other person will experience. Such a chance is given very rarely. You can't even imagine as rarely as possible. It won't hurt you. It's even nice. You won't die, you will live. I give you the word of darkness. The word of darkness must be strong. The darkness never retreats from your words. So what can I say? Again I am required to accept solution. And not just some little thing, but what it depends on my life and maybe even the lives of other people. Interventions in progress my thoughts are not felt. Has the voice really just gone away? - You must make your own decision. I'll give you something to think about 13 seconds Time has passed. I hate making decisions. This is always accompanied by a mass problems. You have to choose the lesser of two evils. But for whom is less? For me? For other people? What do I care about this herd? They would roll towards... Yes, yes, yes! Of course yes! What I didn't see in this world? And then they offer me something unusual... But... Free cheese only comes in a mousetrap. Oh, to hell! My answer: yes! It took me about three seconds to think. The remaining time I watched as someonethe guy pulls out the same girl from the river. What a lucky man, I think. “Your time is up,” the voice said again. - Yes!!! - Answer accepted. I could no longer control my body. I could only watch by your actions. I took off my shoe and sock from my right foot, climbed onto the stove. Oddly enough, there were potholes in the center of the slab just right for my foot. raised his right hand vertically up, spreading your fingers like a fan. Looking up at the sky, I was horrified. It is necessary I began to unwind the heavenly funnel. Lightning flashed. The clouds blurred. It suddenly got dark. The funnel kept spinning up stronger and stronger. And in the center it was lightning that broke and pierced me in the hand. But I didn't feel any pain. Lightning did not let go of my hand. I felt heartbreaking energy flowing into me. And this flow of energy intensifies. I put my left hand forward. Ripped off my fingers energy flows. They poured out all over everything. People dissolved in this flow, thereby strengthening it. Buildings collapsed, cars exploded. I felt that energy covers the entire Earth... The energy storm continued to rage. I lost track of time. I I couldn’t say anymore: I’ve been standing here for a day in this energetic mess or several hours? Suddenly I felt the flow become weaken, then disappeared completely, but a moment later it appeared again alreadydifferent polarity. Now the energy pouring through me went back into the sky. It was beginning to get light. When is the last lightning went into the sky, the clouds cleared, a terrible picture: endless desert. Desert, where instead of dust and sand - ashes There was nothing around me but ashes. And then the realization of what I had done dawned on me. - Isn’t that what you wanted? - the same voice rang out. - Yes. - So here it is. You got it. Above me, kneeling on that very slab among ash desert, where from now on only the wind will rule, a devilish laugh rang out. 3:03 01/11/2002
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