■················.
(c) Necromancer^Smk
Damn, Linux has that... different approach
demands, and you and I are in Windows
we think...
(c) Chainick
...The Necromancer's swollen muzzle looked very good on
targets with the inscription "LaMe OFF", and darts were stuck into it...
Like butter! And others jumped to the sides, delighting the nervous system
sounds from Quake...
...And he looked at the blue Ranish and his thoughts were about the meaning
life.
“For great fornication has taken place in your Partition Table,” he said
Alex, -format, my son, and may you rest in peace... And
he agreed, sobbing and grieving over software megabytes, innocently
ruined.
^^^MINOR LITERARY DEGREE^^^
...The author’s meager knowledge of literature does not make it possible
convey all those shades of feelings embedded in the famous Russian
a word whose meaning is extreme
hopelessness...
-FUCK! Said the Necromancer, who expected anything from the inscription
eStarting Windows95 to naked women in high definition, but nothingno black screen...
Maxx couldn’t fall asleep for a long time, remembering whether they booted from his screw
after another attempt to install TurboLinux or it took away the screw,
without checking its ability to boot...
The Necromancer's sleep was very nervous. Dreamed about command lines
and disk drives, several times in a dream I saw a screw falling from a table
and the sleepy Necromancer went to the table to check whether it was a dream or not.
And the next morning the hero went to Alex Nikiforov, who, due to
of his kindness, agreed to give the Necromancer a screw to load.
...But an insidious bummer awaited the Necromancer.
-Something doesn't load from my screw, I must have set it too much
hit him hard when he put it into the case... - Nikiforov was delighted.
And he advised me to come to his work.
Cursing myself for not taking my
Winchester, Maxx quickly moved home and, throwing it into his backpack
ill-fated TurboLinux, went to Zhdany.
-Are you interested in anything?
Making a sad face, Necromancer pulled out a compact with
penguin and handed it to the seller.
-Yours? I'm changing it for the second time with you, I've blown half a screw, it's time
I spend it, but Linux is not installed for nothing...
The seller asked carefully what was wrong where, and built
no less upset face, said that he actually turbolinux
I haven’t tried it yet, so I’ll be happy to change it
compact
“Why, you moose, were silent before,” thought the Necromancerand started
sort through CDs. The merchant's overgrown partner ran back and forth and
brought new discs with penguins. Finally the seller fished out Red
Hat for 3 compacts and Mandrake - 7.0 for one compact and 7.2 for
two.
-Here, I installed them with my own hands, everything works without
problems...
Satisfied that he got away with it, the seller agreed to keep his
telephone to help with installation, hinting, however, that it is better
don't call. Becoming the proud owner of Mandrake, Necromancer
I decided that it would not be superfluous to buy a three-inch
floppy drive...
-How much do disk drives cost?
A man who looked like Ivan rustled price lists with a frightened look
zhi blatantly stated that there are no disk drives. It came from somewhere
an unshaven person in camouflage pants with a beer belly.
-Disk drives? Teac will do? I'll bring it right now...
And the pub disappeared. He returned about 10 minutes later, approaching
Necromancer's behind.
-Here's Teac, new, all done...
“You’ll fuck me, bitch,” thought the Necromancer, searching in vain for
the drive has at least a hint of jumpers.
-How much does it cost and where are the jumpers?
-11 rubles, but are there jumpers on disk drives?
Pseudo Ivan intervened:
-Why are there jumpers on it, what kind of computer do you have?
“Play Station,” Necromancer blurted out angrily, “you can check it.”
drive somewhere?
-Why check it, it’s already working, you’ll bring it tomorrow if
what...
Meanwhile, I joined the conversationhairy boy
biker sizes and said that if a man in camouflage doesn’t
sells him now the motherboard promised a week ago, then
everyone will get fucked, and immediately. The merchant turned away
reprisals, saying that he was going to check the drive now.
For several minutes the fat asshole dragged Max around the market,
greeting all the traders along the way. During this time Necromancer
managed to bring the price down to ten. Finally stopped at a closed
stall. The man began pounding on the iron shields on the windows with his fists:
-Dima, open up, I need a computer!!!
About 5 minutes later the iron door opened and she leaned out of the darkness
swollen face and said:
-Go to hell!
There was no cable at another kiosk. Finally, back to
to Ivan's double, the man stuck a sticker on the drive and said,
what if anything, Ivan will answer. The Necromancer left the market with
I feel like I have to go back...
...Alex Nikiforov's job consisted of collecting pussies and
selling them to thirsty lamers. He did this not alone, but together
with Panich, a great specialist in the field of resale
business.
Panich was very happy. He ran around the office, climbed into drawers and
closet, taking out various pieces of iron from there. More Panich
was delighted when the Necromancer timidly expressed his secret
desire to have a fast video card. Villain with a happy look
started throwing boards on the table,while talking about their undoubted
merits.
...After half an hour, the Necromancer lost his mind and began
bargain... And it is unknown how all this would have ended for
Maxx's finances, if not for the offer to bring the computer to
realtime to admire the new hardware...
...When the Necromancer returned, lamers poured into the office. A
when the flow of future and current pissers dried up, there was
a computer with a black-faced "electronics" drive was overthrown and
"Stop Luka" sticker. As usually happens, the computer started
resist.
The CD went on strike, the cable from the second screw tried to jump out into
the most inopportune moment, the partitions mysteriously
flew off. Nikiforov ran back and forth with screws, trying to pacify
comp.
...Finally we managed to somehow put the screw in order. But
CD, calling himself "...MA#$@#$#$ SD-TON 583" refused to work
completely. Having suffered specifically, Alex suggested putting the CD in
a stump freshly cleared by Panich. And then it turned out that while
rearranged the cables of the CD on the connector, one slyly bent
single leg. It became clear why I didn’t fully climb into
socket cable
-So that’s what he wasn’t there! - Necromancer looked at
connector
“Never mind, this is the ground - the bottom row,” Nikiforov cooled,
finally breaking off the ill-fated leg and turning on the stump.
Overclocked to workrefused. While the heroes were thinking about the glitch,
Panich returned. I looked at the CD and was pleased with the news that
Only 4 legs are allocated underground on the CD. And then I was glad
himself, seeing that the freshly burnt stump had died.
...The Necromancer's heart bled, hearing the crunch and
the grinding sound with which Panich mercilessly repaired the CD, along the way
offering Maxx'e to sell the device while there is still something to sell...
“In short, Max, have Linux installed by tomorrow,” said Alex
Nikiforov, getting ready to go home, because it was getting close
midnight...
As soon as Alex went home to sleep, Panich, swearing,
began to repair the stump, asking the Necromancer what he and Alex
they did it to him. Eventually the stump came to life. Having quarreled for the sake of order
to buggy sockets, Panich fell asleep, and Necromancer
I carefully screwed in all my devices and started installing
Linux Mandrake...
...The Windows approach to business made itself felt - after an hour
installing the comper, not noticing anything, brazenly loaded Windows.
-Maybe I set the partitions incorrectly? - thought Maxx.
Having reformatted the screw again for order, Necromancer
launched the installer. It was now decided to carry out the installation in
Win section, fortunately the authors of Mandrake stated that this is “also
option!"
After tinkering with the screw for half an hour, the Great DrakX Installer
started installation. So that life doesn't seem like paradise,linux kindly
reported that installing valuable software would take about an hour. Then
changed his mind and said one and a half.
An hour later, having made sure that at this rate the system will be installed
It wasn't until morning that the Necromancer dozed off in his chair.
And when I woke up I found that things were moving even slower,
than the installer planned and much slower than expected
Necromancer.
-Have they really screwed up at the market again? - Maxx thought sleepily, pressing
Sleep Reset. And spitting on Linux, Necromancer downloaded Digital Sound
System to spend the rest of the night in a chair listening to Dreams Of
Sanity.
But the Necromancer's brain broke all the buzz from sleep, even if
and a hard chair, raising it halfway up the album.
Looking at the carefree Panich snoring, Maxx decidedly
got up from his chair and went to the computer. Came out no less decisively
from DSS and inserted the Linux CD.
-Right now you’ll become, penguin snout... -Necromancer once again
reformatted part of the screw...
2 B Continued MaYb.
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