A VERY SCARY fairy tale! - Once upon a time there was a programmer...

OLDMAN PRESENTS:
	   APPENDIX TO THE COMPUTER NEWSPAPER "ON-LINE"
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   Attention: this work was "caught" from one of the IBM
networks. There was no information about the author. However,
"FAIRY TALE" is worthy of the title BEST OF..., and I took the liberty
bring it to a wider audience (well, I wrapped it up...).

					MDM 496-8508;12:00/21:00
					   Dmitry@oldman.msk.ru

   Processing in the publishing system and correction:

					BBS 164-1684;22:00/06:40
					     Alexey@alex.msk.ru
					    On: schedule in ON-LINE


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   One day on the Bowhill BBS I suddenly felt...
boring... And, judging by the messages, not only me. As a result, the discussion
It turned out that you can write fairy tales. And for the convenience of this
process I installed this system.

   The only condition is to avoid personalinsults and
obscene language!

──────────────────────────────── ────────────────────────────────

   The second line of the first chapter indicates that somewhere
messages are blowing, but where is it interesting? I would like to know what
necessarily. I wonder if this is the right place? If you go there, you will have to break
to sew one or rather even two conditions of the current beeobraziya.  Like this.
 .
   There are only dots in each line - figure it out yourself........
 .

   It will be a scary, VERY SCARY fairy tale!  Once upon a time there was a program
myst... (about the same as all other programmers).
One day he went to his grandmother (for pies, probably).  And grandma
he was just connected with the Sicilian mafia and sold cakes
ki at crazy prices. I must tell you that in the country where I lived
our programmer worked and studied (as the great one bequeathed...)
the horns were something like heroin for people
rian drops for cats and a new one, just stale due to
bugra software for programmers. Therefore, it was difficult to get them, and
sometimes it is impossible. Therefore, those programmers who had a background
bushes were considered lucky.

 [End of the first part, to be continued]
 [Credits]
 [The lights are turned on in the hall]

   Let’s start the second chapter like this: “Once upon a time there was a non-programmer.”

   "Once upon a time there was a non-programmer..."
   Does this really happen?
   It doesn't happen like that...
 .
   So, the programmer is still alive. Now hideside to go to the
black market and buy PC (Hi was a Soviet programmer)

   It didn't take long, it didn't take long, but he finally reached the market.  Looked
around and it’s already spinning - evil cooperators are standing around, holding
computers - but they just don’t give it... And they don’t give it for rubles. But only
for different currencies. And he went to look for that currency. He walked and walked and looked
- there is an old stump. And grandfather lies near the stump...
 .

   Staaaaary. Old horseradish. Old grandfather?
 .

   Hmmm. So, kids, that old chukhalnik was lying there, two
I snorted holes. And on the side of this chmypa is a sheepskin coat
lying around. And from under his sheepskin coat there’s something like that with the English over-
letters were issued... Our programmer looked in all four directions -
We little people are busy with our own affairs, who will buy, who will sell,
there seems to be no one to look around... Yes, and the place is ykpom-
no - there was a shed stuck to the side, on the other there were impenetrable bushes,
in front there is an untrodden garbage dump, and in the back there is a wasteland and no one.  Well, by-
The programmer scratched his turnip, looked around - and walked towards
sheepskin coat... He lifted it and looked - she was a beauty!  From the face - VGA
solid, wide-width signet on the side with 25 needles attached -
I saw it, it’s impossible to count inside megabytes... It’s rubbish, and
1only! And the chukhalnik keeps snoring... Well, ours shuddered
programmer from such indescribable beauty - and grab the machine
in an armful! And put your feet in!

   That's it, kids... Youlook and say - they say it’s bad
this programmer of yours, stealing, they say, is not good... So yes, kid-
ki, but what should I do? That old man's loss is a piece of cake, he
enti computers sells hundreds a day, and the poor programmer
For fun and work, where can I get a car? And nowhere...

   Okay, let's move on... The programmer installed the legs,
I ran into the deepest forest and got tired. Sat on the pe-
no, I installed the computer (and as soon as he rested it! The thing didn’t
how heavy, how many boxes stuffed and through that
very uncomfortable)... He sits, wipes himself, thinks - what is he doing?
bark? Who's to blame? And then, as luck would have it, the Wolf entered the clearing
It's gone, it's an infection! Yes, not just a Wolf, but in rank and with shoulder straps,
talker on his belt, and a cannon on his side... From behind, the program
our mer sits there, puffing away, and doesn’t even notice the wolf... He looked
Wolf - the programmer is sitting there! And a computer, a valuable thing, at that.
And what, the Wolf thinks, he’s sitting in the wilderness with valuables,
Tempt people to commit murder? And not otherwise - poper programmer
soaped up the car and hid it!!! Well, the Wolf thinks, now I’m infecting him -
I'll kill you so that people don't tempt you! And I’ll take the car for myself, for
moral damage. The Wolf decided so, and trampled his belly on the
kam - to get closer.

   Meanwhile, the programmer caught his breath - and so he wanted
try the computer in action! Just forThat's why you need an outlet.
He looked around - the wilderness, no sockets in sight... And the Wolf was already there
he’s just got close, just stretch out his paw, he’s sitting under a bush, right now
will jump... And the programmer is still looking for an outlet - well, he can’t stand it!  And
Then he looked under the bush - hacha!  - two holes!  I was happy
programmer and how to stab the Wolf in the nostrils with a power fork... Wolf
It’s already bewitched, the fork is no match for the cobkobckum, according to the European standard
done... The Wolf rushed out from under the bush with a terrible muzzle, a cleaver
pulled it out - and onto the programmer. And the programmer will remain in the dark forest
lifeless, the Wolf would have killed him, but luckily for him in those seconds
from the machine a terribly harmful diskkiller virus with fresh air
came out to breathe. So he came out, look - the Wolf with the programmer
the house is being trampled. I looked closer - and the Wolf had a network cable from his nose-
Drey is sticking out!  Oh, you bastard, thought the diskkiller, under the device
are you mowing?! And he gave the Wolf a hearty smack on the bullshit, he was already over-
obliquely$#&lo. After all, what is Volkova’s head in front of the disc killer when he
gigabyte disks exploded at once with resonance.  Well, I started
disckiller for the Wolf closely, and the programmer don’t be a fool -
com, grabbed the machine and put your feet in! Good thing
familiar...

   Wow, I wove it under three screens... It's time to go and have a beer...

   So, we drank beer, we can continue to interpret...

   This means that our programmer rushed through the forest/thicket wherever he looked.
businesslook... He ran and ran, with all his strength,
the bushes have fallen and are resting, which means...

   He took his breath away, stuck his muzzle out of the bushes, looked around,
afraid. Look - you can see the hut on kyphorax, smoke coming from the chimney,
there is a television antenna on the roof and cables laid... Well, he thinks
programmer, since there is a TV on the farm, so is a computer
it will be possible to help. I looked around again - and...
rushed to the hut entoy. He pulled up, grabbed the doorknob - and the Izba
to him in a human voice: tell me, my dear, your user name?
And she grabbed it with her left paw. Well, the programmer thinks, absolutely
disappeared, he heard about such huts, private BBSs are called,
forest and villainous, they come from honest inns
whose owners fell into robbery... People say a lot about them
what were they talking about? They said he’ll ask for his name if he’s done this three times—
branches that are not on her list - at that moment
unscrews his head! And if you guess the name, then she’s an infection,
a pass word will be required. Three times too. You won’t guess - flood-
even Well, if you guess right, he’ll let you in, and then they’ll
pure paradise for a programmer, various software is piled in the corners -
I don’t want to take it!

   I remembered all this, our poor programmer, and BBSba tumepom
clicks and scrapes with its claws... The programmer thought and thought, all
Tom left - remembered the magic/secret name, in the tavernfrom arrival
The same system programmer from distant countries heard!  Sysop,
He says, I, your master, you blind-eyed brute! BBSba on another
its side twisted, turned it over in its paw and asked -
If you say, you are my beloved master, so please
password'ik otbetctbobatb, for three attempts, but you won’t answer
- don’t blame me, there are a lot of people hanging around here...

   The programmer got wet all at once - what to do? Looked at the sign
on top of BBSby - it says, they say, Alan BBSby, number there, address
location - city and house number... And the programmer thought -
What if I really was a sycop? Yes, with a big beer drinking
returned to yourself? Yes, how the BBS grabbed me with her paw, and I
I remember my name ishsho - but the entrance word is completely forgotten -
shaft? And should I die a cruel death here, on the very threshold?  No,
the programmer decided, in such a case, you need to look for the password under your nose -
but a stranger can’t be fooled, but a drunk will remember the sysop and punch him in the face!  Look-
zero ishsho once on the sign - Alan pier, Zelenograd pier, building
1205... Well, he thinks Alanzelenograd takes a long time to reprimand when he’s drunk
it will be, but Alan1205 is simple, and 5021nala is just right!  Sighed
closed his eyes - 5021nala, says!!!

   And BBSba to him - come in, dear master, there’s no way to get beer again -
they deigned to roam, everyone remembered the password, tossed their heads, but
come and drink some brine, and I’ve already prepared the speaker - who
was and what did he do,Yes, here’s another funny new echo, you haven’t read-
Naya arrived, already nocmeetecb, having rested... And at the programmer’s door
promotes it gently. And at the entrance she moved her armchair, her mustache
Dila, I carefully put the computer aside - with a new thing
no way, he says, the owner has arrived, owner, everyone must drag into the house - chairs -
Then she rolled up to the table with the main remote control, and on the side there was another table
I gathered gom - eat there, drink coffee, foreign cigarettes
dragged... Command, grit, my precious sysop, ready-
wow... And the programmer, having become emboldened, shut up, old man!  Rest-
I'll have fun/have fun! And at the same moment I reached for the remote control... (They,
programmers, they're all like that, don't feed them bread - give them a new machine -
ke push buttons...)

   And then we’ll stop there - no matter how much we’re without rest tpenem-
Xia!

   Ugh... I'm tired of grinding my tongue with you without breathing... Right now
I'll drink beer, have a smoke...

   So okay - I sat down, which means our programmer is in charge -
ny BBS remote control. The secret doc is reading, getting used to the remote control -
it’s so nice to see... But suddenly he hits himself on the forehead - and
The computer is new, new/not tested in practice, probably in vain
Idle!? You have to write software!  Well, it’s a common thing, computer
assembled/established and a team for him, the most global for-
gave - write, grit, everything in a row as long as there is enough space!  And the computer
everyone knows that in skillful hands a thing is obedient/executiveyes
very hard working, so he went to describe all the software in a row, that
on the corner of the BBS it was placed... It rustles with all its might, winking with a lamp -
says, here I am, working/working my butt off...

   And the programmer began to study BBSbu from the inside, it’s up to him
new, interesting... I began to get used to it slowly, meanwhile-
he and the computer began to scrape the last crumbs of software,
when suddenly the programmer looked through the screen window, and there was a cool man
go straight to the entrance! Well, the programmer thinks, right now
BBSba will kick him between the blinkers for his annoying impudence!  And Maine,
infection, approaches the BBS and starts an unexpected speech - I,
grit, sysop, my password is 5021nala, come on, open the door, old hag!
The programmer realized that it was time to wind up the greyhound's gear
yes bushes and let's gait three crosses your computer, software
overeating, pack it back!

   Meanwhile, BBSba was already choking on the words of the newly-appeared sysop
lazy and let's scream - BUZY-BUZY, they say, go away, evil spirits,
he's been at home for a long time, busy with business, come on,
get lost, uninvited guest, he has come! Otherwise I’ll break into hell
brazen, you will know how to pretend! And sysop from the words entih
he jumped up and barked - what are you, an uncompiled brute, bala-
Have we eaten too much?! How-so BUZY-BUZY?!  How is it at home?!  I'm the ones, ba-
la/vobla, did you say password and name? Open the gate, otherwise it’s alive in
archiveI'll pack it! And BBSba let the sysop closer and broke in
souls HANG UP with a curve between the horns! He stepped aside...
Our cunning programmer saw all this, and he thought a hole -
But maybe we shouldn’t leave for now?  Sysop is very evil, but
the bushes are roaming around, God forbid it intercepts - the computer escapes
ret with all the software, what a big guy he is... Isn’t it the best
will sit here until he comes for help - then -
and pull the claws? But while the programmer was thinking like this, sysop,
infection, sneaked into the netmail window on the side and through
crack/FDServer whispered to the dogs of his chain, del'am and their leader -
to Xdel, so that at this moment they clean out everyone from the BBS... And
how these cursed dels climbed out of all the cracks here, and in front he
Xdel, brutal muzzle, with the black, witchcraft parameter (*.* - not
by night be remembered)! It's hard for our fleet-footed programmer
I had to. I barely managed to grab the computer and pass it by
sneak through the villainous pack... He ran away from the porch - and there was a sysop
waits/is waiting... But our guy’s programmer is no mistake, dude
I didn’t regret it, I hit the sysop on the head and chirped into the bushes
asked!

   He hid in the bushes, caught his breath a little, and looked to see what happened next.
will follow... Sysop hesitated and hesitated near the porch, to move away
became... I finally woke up, said the pass word - and let me in
his BBS inside... I caught myselfour programmer go from here
further away, when suddenly a cry was heard throughout the entire area!
This means that while the little head at the porch was suffering, the pack
Evonaya, with the black parameter, the programmer couldn’t find all the software
devoured right through! Oh, and the sysop yelled that your piglet was underpriced
I was sad, I was lamenting everything about my beloved software... And rightly so
him, the damned greedy! There was nothing on the archival economic diskettes.
blow!

   It is truly said - do not dig a hole for others!

   Our cunning programmer thought so, he picked up a computer and
set off on the journey/road to his home...

   Ugh... And what happened to him next, that’s what we’ll talk about later.
dem, I need to smoke...

   Hmm, I’ve been chatting with you, it’s already dark, the event will come soon
drive the messages out into the field... Well, okay, I’ll tell you ishsho
a little...

   Well, our programmer went out onto the road, to Yevon’s house
presenter, then the moon appeared (I must say, while he is on BBS
was found, and night had already come), the area became brighter... It,
we know the deal, under the moonlight at night along the high road to go wherever for
health is more beneficial, otherwise it’s a night thing, the road is rough,
the chalk hour has already arrived, the messages are moving like a catechumen, the eyes
they'll show off, they want to run to everything as quickly as possible... They'll kick you... Crash and va-
they still go over their heads... Otherwise it happens - the owner is unreasonable
Attach will feed himself in the stall with indecent dimensions, and also crash
himHe’ll put him on the neck and let him out... And then this beast rushes -
which is well-fed on the road, tramples everything in its path
Vit... And how distorted the traffic is, there is only one murder... No
to act wisely and break the attachment into a smaller pile yes
skip it during a quiet time... And why is there a long time to pickle,
There are different owners...

   So, our programmer went out onto the beaten path, the computer
the shield is all over the side of the road - how can they knock it down and not notice?  And
the computer will be trampled, and the sides will be broken... And then it crawls out onto
the way from the stray path, a skinny message, so frail, on
first glance and without statuses at all... But only at the first, because
had that message status, secret status and robbery, kill prose-
is happening. This seemingly goner attaches himself to the attachment, devouring
her, picks a hole in the packaging - and rips all the
I'll load it! The attachment has only one thought in his head - to run faster,
By the time he even realizes that the cargo has been stolen, kill is already far away
there will be...

   This one was one of those.

   Wow, my tongue is completely falling off, wait a minute...

   Okay, I’ll continue to say...

   Chose it says kill the filthy attachment, fatter, at the back
began to worry... He began to commit his villainous robbery... Yes, on him
the trouble was noticed by the programmer, our little eyes, maneuvers, yes
and understood what was happening... And he himself joined his tail.  And then
killthe disgusting paw stretched out his shriveled paw for someone else’s goods
how the programmer hit him on the paw with his battle-tested friend
tannoy! The paw squealed... The filthy kill squealed, go away
rushed, and out of fright flew into the oncoming lane, and there he
the end has come... And the attachment, saved by the programmer, is on the sidelines
pulled over, braked and let's thank the programmer
you can explain yourself... For an overnight stay and dinner at your destination -
called him, they say the owner there is very hospitable, for a little help
sat me down and ran as fast as I could...

   This is how it happens - don’t get caught by this evil kill, it will take a long time
If only the programmer would have had to shuffle his feet home...
yes, but not so, for this incident turned out not to the neighbor, but
further down the road...

   Oh!!! Did the mail event happen?! This is true! Chatted with you
The messages are roaring, you can hear them from here! I'll run and let you out - I'll come back -
I'll finish it!

   Phew, I barely made it! Give me a sip of beer, my throat is dry... Oh,
good beer, overseas, called Tuborg, message the other day
got lost with three boxes...

   Well, I got the programmer’s attachment and told the owner about the heroic
the feat expressed everything - the owner was amazed, he entered the inn -
Val, sat him down at the table, began to treat him and ask questions...
the programmer told the owner without hiding all his incidents - ze-
The owner was amazed! So, all of himself amazed, he began the program.
rammerput to rest And the program did a disservice
the owner's degree of defeat and forgetfulness! Because in reverie
he put the programmer to sleep in the OUT directory, and barely fell asleep
the programmer was fast asleep after his righteous labors, when he found himself in
entu the very directory the mail robot is a bit dull and packed everything
contents (for it was said to him - *.*) in a durable ZIP and from-
ruled the whole package on a strong attachment to alien lands...

   Truly I tell you, be afraid *.*!

   That's it. Our programmer woke up, look - and the place is
completely unfamiliar, Hold messages are lying around, a mess, not a single
no living soul... Somehow I got out of the ZIP, stood up, computer
I picked up mine, rummaged around - I found a strong bag with straps,
it's called a rucksack, I stuffed a computer into it - and off I go
outside... Coming out onto the road, I saw a milestone/signpost,
looked at the inscriptions - and began to spin... For he was carried into the edges
distant, unknown, and yesterday evening he was just a stone's throw from
home... But there’s nothing to do, the bytes under the lying file are wrong
Kate, he set off on a difficult journey...

   And his path was hard and full of exploits and accomplishments, but
This is a separate story that needs to be said... Here I will say something small.
On the way he once met a small message, an orphan, on the way
Ge lost. And he picked him up, warmed him/fed him, and began
the message is his servantmost faithful. Because there was a message from a samurai/kami-
kaze and knew how to serve without sparing his belly... And he was at the message
small secret cargo - a terrible/destructive bomb, an evil one
horn Kova Lev against Vladimir the Red Sun sent
message under the guise of friendly greetings. And the message became small
devoted soul and body to our long-suffering programmer, and
told him the secret of his burden. And the programmer said, this bomb is tied -
roar is a terrible thing! And it would be better to throw it in a remote corner
Yes, undermine it - because it can cause a lot of evil... And they decided
So, we walked away from the passing road into a remote corner.  But
it so happened that their path ran near the lair of Ukh Olkin, ban-
the child of a well-known and bloodthirsty man.  And he heard their speeches
careless in the darkness of the night, and he maliciously planned the attack of the villain -
skoe on peaceful travelers. Uh Olkin jumped out from around the corner in the middle
paths, opened his evil mouth... Stands, playing with his flail,
curl/develop your hair and utter vile speeches, arrange-
wandering... Like, come on, traveler, here's a bag of goods - maybe
you will remain alive... Our programmer was in a hurry here from the spectacle
so fearful, but the faithful message pulled him by the sleeve yes
planted a bomb. Our undaunted, white programmer grinned
He waved his little hand and threw a bomb right into his mouth Wow
Olkina gaping! Wow Olkin, bastard/roach, mouth fromgreed and
clicked - then there was a bomb and @#$&la!!! Eh, move your left, once-
Wow Olkin was carried to shreds through the back streets! And I haven't heard since then
no one about this robber... And our travelers, having collected their things,
We set off on the road/road...

   So, you bastards! Such heroes lived in the old days!
\\And you are only too good at twisting the messages’ tails! .

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