Story - EDOGAWA RAMPO "CHAIR MAN".

             EDOGAWA RAMPO

            "CHAIR MAN"


   Every morning Yoshiko, after seeing her husband off
service, retired to a European-style furnished
Romanian office (shared with her husband) -
work on your new novel, which
ry was supposed to come out in the summer issue
a very respectable magazine "N". Yoshiko was
not only beautiful, talented, but also so
famous for eclipsing her own soup-
Ruga, Secretary of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs
business
   Every day she received a whole pack of pi-
this from admirers unknown to her. Here we go
today, before starting work,
out of habit, she looked through the correspondence
dentia.  Nothing new - endlessly boring
new and empty messages, but Yoshiko with pure
with feminine care and attention
chatted one envelope after another.
   First of all, she read two
meek letters and a postcard, putting them aside
the last is a thick package, similar to a baked
chatted manuscript. No notification about
she did not receive the manuscript, but before
It happened that aspiring writers themselves
sent her their essays - as usual
lo, long, depressing and yawning ro-
mana.  Yoshiko decided not to change her habit:
opened the package - at least look at the zag-
Lavie.
   Yes, she was not deceived - a weighty pack-
the sheets of paper were indeed a manuscript,
but, oddly enough, not on the first pagethere was no name, no title, and the beginning-
The elk narration was simple: “Madam!..”
   Yoshiko absent-mindedly ran her eyes
how many lines, and she was overcome by evil
premonition.  However, natural curiosity
yours took over, and she went deep into reading
tion.
   "Madam!
   I am a stranger to you and I humbly apologize.
please blame me for such impudence.
Imagining your righteous dissatisfaction
I'll make a reservation right away: I intend
reveal to you a terrible secret. My secret
crimes.
   It's been several months since I
hiding from the world, I lead truly devilish
life. Of course, but one living spirit
Sha doesn't know what I'm doing. And if
not certain circumstances, I never
I wouldn't return to the human world...
   However, recently there has been a change
belt that turned my soul upside down. I'm more
Unable to remain silent, I decided to confess!
My letter, probably from the very first
lines seemed strange to you, and yet
I conjure you, do not put it off for a hundred
Rona, take the trouble to read to the end! And
then maybe you will understand my despair
new condition, you can guess why exactly
I dared to do such a monstrous thing to you
confession...
   I don't even know where to start. See
or what I intend to tell you,
so immoral and incredible that
my pen refuses to serve me. But
come what may, I made up my mind. I will describe the events
in order.
   I'll start withthat I am monstrously ugly
zen  Remember this. For I fear that
You, having heeded my insistent request, still
dare to see me without imagining,
how terrible my already disgusting
solid appearance after long months
such an existence... This meeting
may come as a big shock to you.
   My unfortunate fate! In such a disgusting way -
In this body beats a pure, ardent heart...
Forgetting about his ugliness, about his ignorant pro-
departure, I lived in a world of sweet dreams.
   If I had been born into a rich family, I would have been able to
find solace in extravagance and amusements - and
do not suffer from the consciousness of your own non-
usefulness.  Or, be granted to me
talent, I would, composing beautiful lines,
forgot about my misfortune. But the gods weren't
so merciful to me: I am just
poor artisan, cabinetmaker
shield...
   It turned out that I became an expert in
production of various types of chairs and chairs
sat down   Furniture made by my hands
satisfied the most refined tastes
cashiers; I gained fame in the trade
circles, and they ordered me only expensive
cool, luxurious things - newfangled chairs
styles with different backs and armrests -
kami, with intricate pillows, extraordinary
shapes and proportions - in a word, graceful
product;  to fulfill such an order,
requires such skill and diligence that
to an ignorant person and imagine
impossible. But,after finishing work, I always
experienced boundless joy - not from
that the hard work is over. You can
reproach me for blasphemous insolence,
however, I still dare to compare mine
feelings with the glee of a painter, only
that he completed his brilliant creation
tion. Having completed the chair, I tried it myself,
to check if it is comfortable. I'm testing
there was a kind of sacred awe. They were sa-
our most exciting moments of my boring, pointless
old life - self-satisfied rejoicing
overwhelmed me. I tried to imagine
to myself, who will sit in my chair -
noble aristocrat, brilliant beauty
Vitsa... Fantasy transported me to a special
the person for whom the chair was ordered -
there must certainly be a room there,
walking for him: full of expensive and exquisite
candy trinkets, with paintings, glorified
craftsmen, with a crystal chandelier,
hanging from the ceiling like a sparkling jewel
value.  There is a luxurious carpet on the floor,
which the foot is buried... And by the chair, on
tiny table - dazzling beauty
European vase with wonderful, exuding
fragrance of flowers.  In their crazy
in my dreams I was the owner of these apartments,
I reveled in a bliss that I cannot
describe in words.
   My imagination knew no bounds. I'm in
portrayed himself as an aristocrat sitting in
armchair with a lovely lover on the knee
yah: she listens to me with charming
tendersmile, and I whisper in her ear
love speeches!
   But my fragile dreams are invariably shattered
fell on life: they crumbled into dust from
shrill cries of slovenly women, from
heart-rending screams and roars of snotty babies
- and the ugly image again appeared before my eyes -
Your reality is gray and gloomy. And maybe
beloved, the girl of my dreams... Oh, she
disappeared, fading away like smoke... But what is it,
even the neighboring women who babysat on the street
tsakh their grimy children, even they don’t
honored me with attention. And only grew
the cat chair remained in place, but
after all, he certainly had to be taken away
for me - to take me into a world inaccessible to me!
   Every time I part with an order, I
fell into hopeless despondency and melancholy. This
the feeling drove me into a frenzy.
   "It would be better for me to die than to live like this
miserable life,” I thought in despair. I
I’m not pretending at all: I kept thinking
about death...
   But one day a thought came to my mind:
why die?  Maybe there is
another way out?
   My thoughts became more and more dangerous
direction.
   At that moment I was working on a huge
a leather chair of a completely new design
tructions. It was intended for a hotel
people in Yokohama, owned by some
to a European.  He originally intended
bring chairs from abroad, but fortunately
giving through the mediation of a merchant, praising
who gave my talents, the order for them was transferred to
should I?
   Forgettingabout sleep and food, I’m completely immersed
got busy at work. I put my soul into it
having renounced everything.
   And now the chair was ready. Having examined
him, I experienced unprecedented delight. I'm sot-
stole a masterpiece that delighted me. By
as usual, I sat down in a chair,
after taking it out into the sun. Ah,
how amazing it was, with nothing
comparable pleasure!
   Not too soft, but not too soft either
the hard seat beckoned. A
leather upholstery!  I despised the artificial
coloring, preserving the natural color of the
natural skin, and how pleasant it was for
fingers feel soft, like a glove,
upholstery... The line of the back, clinging to
body, gracefully shaped, plump armrests -
all this gave rise to a feeling of complete harmony and
coziness and was the true embodiment of comfort
ta.
   I made myself comfortable and, stroking
armrests, reveled in bliss. How
always, I was lost in dreams. This time
they were so alive and bright that I
I asked myself with fear whether this was madness
this. And then a brilliant idea struck me!
It was the devil himself who suggested it to me.
The idea was fantastic and creepy, but
that's why I was unable to reject
her.
   It arose, undoubtedly, from my
conscious reluctance to part with my
a chair for me. I'm ready to follow him at least
to the ends of the world - that was the first impulse
denition. But as fantasy falls asleep
sorry for thisidea practical details-
mi, a monstrous dawned in my head
intention. He was mad. But - imagine
to yourself! - I decided to bring it to life, and
whatever happens there.
   In the blink of an eye I disassembled the chair and
assembled again, but in such a way that it could
serve the implementation of my plans. This
there was a huge chair covered in leather up to
the floor itself; in addition, the back and under-
cat cats had such sizes and shapes that
could freely hide a person inside without
the slightest risk of being discovered. Razu-
Apparently, there was also wood underneath the upholstery
frame, and steel springs, but, calling
all my skill, I redid it like that
design that my
knees, and in the back - the torso and head.
Taking the form of a chair, I could remain in
him as much as he wanted.
   I worked hard and even came up with
several improvements - for your own
personal convenience.  For example, in order
so that you can breathe and hear sounds,
coming from outside, I did several
holes, completely invisible to the eye.
In addition, in the back at head level I
hung a shelf for supplies: there could
store a vessel with water and dry biscuits.
Intended for natural needs
large rubber bag. When ready
the battles were over, my lair was
it was quite bearable for life. In it you can-
but it was possible to sit for several days without using
tortured by special hardships.In a word, the room
per person...
   I took off my outer dress and climbed inside
and curled up. Strange feeling!
It seemed to me that I was walled up alive
yourself in the crypt. This was the real crypt:
It was as if I had put on an invisibility cloak and disappeared
from the world...
   Soon a messenger came for the chair with
cart.  I could hear my teacher
Nick, not knowing about what happened, something
forges for him.
   When the chair was placed on the trolley, one
one of the porters grumbled: “Damn it!
unbearable!"  - and I involuntarily shrank from
fear;  but chairs of this type are always
are very heavy, so there is no reason to worry
there was no chance. Then I felt like
the cart shook over potholes.  I'm scared
I was worried, but everything turned out just fine
better: same day chair safely
transported to a hotel and placed in a room
grooming.  As it turned out later, this
It was not a hotel room, but a lobby.
   You may have already guessed that I
pursued another goal - to profit.
Having seized a convenient moment, you can exit
chairs and take what is lying badly. To whom
it will occur to you that there is hiding in the chair
person?..
   I could wander from room to room without-
noticeable like a shadow, and when he rose
noise, my shelter reliably hid me.
With bated breath, I listened to the bustle
people looking for the thief. You've probably heard
about the hermit crab that lives on the coastal
ny stones? He lookslooks like a huge one
spider.  If everything is calm, hermit cancer
Nick walks impudently along the seashore,
but, as soon as he heard a suspicious noise, then
he hides in his shell and, when he dries a little,
nuv disgusting furry paws, watching
gives behind the actions of the enemy. So there I was
looks like him. Only he was hiding in the wrong place
kushka, but in an armchair and walked around not
by the sea, and by the hotel.
   Yes, my plan went beyond the boundaries of man
the eternal imagination, and then realized
success.  Anyway, on the third day
I had already stayed at the hotel before
quite a solid "catch". Every time I go
to "hunt", I felt sweet horror and
pleasant excitement, and after another
successful theft, I was overcome by an inexplicable
my joy, not to mention how
the excited voices of the growing
people frantically rushing around the chair.
   Unfortunately, now is not the time to go into detail.
I like to describe my adventures...
So let me continue.
   Suddenly I discovered a source of more
acute and sinful pleasure - attention
Well, we are getting closer to the main thing!
   But first, let's go back a little - to
to how they put me and the chair together
in the lobby.
   ...So, the chair was placed on the floor, and
all the hotel employees took turns sitting
on it, then they got bored with it, and they
separated. There came a long time, nothing happened
shattered silence.  Possibly in the lobby
there's nothing left anymoresouls.  However I don't
risked immediately leaving the shelter,
having saved myself a thousand who lay in wait for me
dangers. For a very long time (or is it just me
it seemed?) nothing leaked inside
sound;  I listened intently to the eerie
silence. But then I heard someone's heavy
footstep - it seems, in the corridor. Then the steps
became barely audible, apparently a person
stepped onto the fluffy carpet that covered the floor
lobby  I heard a hoarse breathing...
Hanging, and - bam!  - right on my lap
a huge carcass plopped down - judging by the heaviness
you, European.  Getting comfortable, he
jumped several times. Separated from
only with the thin leather of the upholstery, I felt
the warmth of a massive, strong body. Mighty
shoulders lay on my chest, heavy
hands rested on my forearms. Human
century, obviously smoked a cigar, and my nostrils
tickled, seeping through the holes in
leather upholstery, strong aroma of tobacco.
   Madam, imagine yourself in my month-
those!  You can't even imagine
it was something incredible, unnatural
sensation. I cringed in horror and literally
squeezed into a wooden frame at some point
foaming, drenched in cold sweat and co-
completely losing the ability to think.
   After that European, dozens more people
dey, replacing each other, sat on my
knees."  None of them replaced anything
til, did not suspect for a moment that in
soft chair cushions - lively, elasticflesh. Oh my leather dark universe, in
which is impossible to even move!
A scary, but full of charm world... For
me, the person living in it, the people from
the outside world gradually lost people
eternal appearance, acquiring other distinctive
body features. They became voices
breathing, the sound of footsteps, the rustle of dresses,
soft and plump flesh. I didn't recognize them
by the face, but by touch. Some were
thick, jelly-like, slippery, like
rotten fish;  others are bony,
like skeletons. There were also differences in bending
without the back, the shape of the shoulder blades, the length of the arms, the thickness
thighs... In essence, despite the general
the overwhelming similarity of human bodies is
numerical shades in their perception. I'm ut-
I believe that it is impossible to identify a person
only by appearance and prints
fingers, but also in such a sensual way
feeling.
   Of course, all this is completely from-
also applied to the weaker sex. Usually about women
Women are judged only by their appearance - beautiful
tsa or plain girl. But for a person, hidden
go in the chair, it just doesn’t matter
nia. Other advantages are important here: silk-
the violet beauty of the skin, the melodiousness of the holo-
sa, the aroma exuded by the female body...
   Madam, I hope I'm not too shocked...
Do I convince you with my frankness?
   ...And then one day I sat down in a chair alone
the person who awakened an ardent heart in my heart
passion.
   Judging by her voice, she was quite young
girl,foreigner. Dancing and on-
singing some funny song under my breath,
she burst like a whirlwind into a completely
empty lobby... I approached the chair
lu, froze for a moment - and suddenly without
any warning rushed to me
on your knees!
   Something made her laugh, and she
burst out laughing, fluttering like a fish,
caught in the net.
   For more than half an hour she sat singing
me on my knees, swaying to the beat
lodia with his entire flexible body. It was
so delightful! I have always avoided women
schin, or rather, was in awe of
them and, ashamed of his ugliness, embarrassed
not even look in their direction. But now
I was very close to an unfamiliar beauty
tsey - and not just nearby, but in the same chair -
le, I pressed myself against her, stroked her through
thin leather upholstery. I felt the warmth of her
la!
   And she, not noticing anything, leaned back
on my chest and continued to play pranks.
   Sitting in my dungeon, I imagined
how I hug her, kiss her lily neck...
In a word, I went far in my fantasies.
yah.
   After this incredible experience I agree
completely forgot about the initial selfish
goals and plunged into a fantastic pool
sensations unknown to me.
   "Here it is, happiness sent down by fate-
fight, I thought. - For me, weak in spirit
freak, it's wiser to trade your miserable life
to the delightful peace inside the chair, for
here, in cramped conditions and darkness, I can
touch tolovely creature, perfect
but unattainable in bright light, I serve
I hear her voice, stroke her skin..."
   Love inside the chair!.. Not a single person
century, except for me, is not able to comprehend
that intoxicating madness. Of course it is
there was a strange love that boiled down to touching
knowledge and smell. Love in the dark... Lu-
God is beyond the bounds of the earthly. Kingdom of Hell
lust.  Truly, one can only di-
twist, how much incomprehensible and terrible
occurs in hidden from human
eyes of the invisible corners of our world!
   At first I intended, having accumulated a fortune,
Well, it's best to get out of here
hotels.  But where is it? All in power
insane voluptuousness, I am no longer only
I didn’t think about escaping - I dreamed of living like this
forever, until the end of your days.
   While making forays into freedom, I observed
all precautions to avoid
to catch anyone's eye, so it's dangerous
the degree of exposure was not particularly great
ka, and yet it amazes me that I am so
lived such a life for a long time and did not pay for
this.
   From sitting for a long time in a crouched position,
when all my limbs gradually became like clothes
rhubarb and in the end I couldn't even
stand straight; the muscles became flabby, and during
I no longer make excursions to the kitchen or the restroom
walked, but rather crawled, like a cripple. What
I was crazy! I can’t even endure such torment,
forced me to leave the world of the sensual
getting along.
   Clients in the hotel constantly me-although they sometimes lived for a long time,
several months;  resulting objects
my love was also constantly replaced by friends
friend.  Going through my lovers, I
I remember not faces, but touches of flesh.
   Some were obstinate and restive, like
young fillies, slender, chiseled; other
they had the elusive grace of snakes, and
their bodies wriggled seductively; third
were like rubber balls, elastic and
rounded;  some consisted entirely of
developed muscles, like ancient figures. And
each had its own unique charm,
only she has an inherent charm. So, "me-
nya" beloved, I improved my
experience.
   One day the ambassador of one
from powerful European powers (about
I learned this from the gossip of the guests -
personal fights), and I was even honored to hold
I have his strong body on my lap. With him
there were several accompanying persons; they are warm
Yelling about something, they got up and left. I,
Of course, I didn’t understand a word of their conversation,
but I felt him gesturing and
the ambassador jumped up, and his body was familiar
significantly hotter than that of mere mortals.
After him, I was left with a country for a long time.
new tickling sensation. I suddenly thought:
what if you take it and stick a sharp one into it?
knife - right to the heart?! I imagined
consequences and was involuntarily filled with self-
contentment: the fate of the world was in my hands-
kah!
   Another time, by pure chance,The famous dancer stopped in a hurry.
Only once did she sit on my lap,
and I experienced a strong shock: she
left me with a memory of a feeling of divine
of the female body. She was so beautiful
I'm so glad that I forgot to think about the lowly
passions and experienced only awe and bliss
awe as before a priceless masterpiece.
   There were many more meetings, and amazing ones
and unpleasant ones, on which there is no time to stay
update in detail, since the purpose of my
That's not what letters are about. I'm already too cornered
struggled with the details, so I return to
theme of the story.
   ...Several months passed when
my destiny took an unexpected turn
mouth  The owner of the hotel, due to some reasons,
chin left Japan and returned to his homeland
well, the hotel was completely handed over to a certain
Japanese company. New owner out of savings
immediately abandoned all excesses,
deciding to turn a rich hotel into the most
ordinary hotel. Made unnecessary
decided to hand over luxury goods for consignment
and put under the hammer, including mine
armchair
   When I heard about this, I fell into deep despair.
neck despondency.  This meant that I had to
return to the human world again and start living
again. An inner voice told me
that this would be the smartest thing to do. For
In the past months I have managed to put together a fair amount of
new condition, and I was not in danger of the previous
semi-beggarly existence.  On the other hand
sides, such a changeopened for me
new horizons.
   The point is that, despite countless
long "romances" with hotel charms
people, I felt a latent misunderstanding
liberty: how charming and seductive
no matter what my beloved were -
after all, they are foreigners, and therefore,
alien to me in spirit. I didn't have enough perfume -
noah closeness.
   I dreamed of loving a Japanese woman!
   I craved more and more sublime
no feeling. And then my chair was sent
for auction. I secretly cherished the hope that,
maybe they'll buy him for a Japanese house, and
prayed about it.  And so I decided to
Strive for patience and do not leave your chair.
   While the chair stood for several days
auction room, I was extremely
depressed state of mind, but, fortunately,
the buyer was not slow to appear. My chair
although it has lost the charm of novelty, everything
equally attracted by the sophistication and goodness
kinship of forms.
   The buyer turned out to be an official who lived
in some city near Yokohama.
We were shaking so much while the chair was being transported
Zovik that I almost died, but now,
when my hopes came true, all the suffering
seemed like sheer nonsense to me.
   The buyer had a rich mansion.
The chair was carried into the office, furnished
in a European way.  To my delight, he serves
lived not so much for her husband as for his charm -
to my wife.  Since that day, for more than a month I have been
almost inseparable from her. Excluding lunch
daytime and night hours,her graceful body
lay on my knees: locked in
office, she spent a long time immersed in
thoughts.
   Needless to say, I'm madly into her
fell in love? After all, she was the first Japanese woman to
which I touched, and in addition, the body
she was inexpressibly beautiful. In this
At home I first knew true love. B
compared to my new passion, all state
typical "novels" were simply children's
hobbies.
   Secret pleasures no longer satisfy
if I was thirsty - what’s wrong with me
happened before - to open up to her and from not-
the possibility of this experienced hellish torment.
   I passionately desired that my beloved
Naya felt me in the chair. And - daring
thought! - I dreamed that she would love me -
la.  But how to give her a sign? If you do
it's without warning, she's scared
she will scream and call her husband and servants for help.
This cannot be allowed, because no matter how
it was, I am a criminal.
   And I chose an unusual method: I post-
tried to make her feel even more
more comfortable, more pleasant to sit in my chair, and
thus awaken love in her
feelings for him! Possessing a poetic soul
and more subtle feelings than the usual
new people, she will notice a change. And I feel-
there's a living soul in my chair, maybe
will love not a thing, but a certain being - one
this will be the highest award...
   Every time she sat on me
knees, I tried to arrange myself so thatshe was as comfortable as possible; when she settled down
I sat in one position, I imperceptibly
spread his legs, changing the position of her body
la.  When she was getting sleepy, I quietly
cradled his beloved, rocking him on his knee
yah.
   And lo and behold! - it seemed to me that
Lately she's really been loving
hit the chair. She plunged into him with such
what tender tenderness with which the child bro-
not the mother's neck, but the girl hugs
beloved.  Her movements were filled with love
divine languor.
   This passion flared up day by day
getting hotter and more frantic. And here in my soul
a crazy thought arose, wild for me
himself.  Oh, I wanted just once
see her face, talk to her at least
in a word - for this I, without hesitation, gave
would be life.
    Madam, have you figured it out?.. Subject
my passion is you! Sorry about this
insolence. Since your spouse acquired
my chair fell, I'm exhausted from the cruel
love.
   I have only one request. I'm asking
We will meet you only once! I dream of having
to hear at least a word of consolation from you. Yes,
I'm ugly, I'm disgusting, I'm worthless,
but... I beg you for this one little thing, oh
I don't dream of anything more. Reply to
the desperate prayer of the unfortunate!
   This night I left your house to...
write you a letter. I didn't have enough courage
embarrassment to talk to you.  It's too much
dangerous.
   The minute you read my post-
lanie, I'm withI wander around with my heart sinking
around your home.  Be merciful!
If you are ready to answer my daring
please put a scarf over the flower
the pot that stands on the window of your cabin -
ta.  At this sign I will knock on your door
door..."
   This is how the message ended. Already after
the first lines Yoshiko turned white as a sheet,
overcome with foreboding. Vsko-
Having heard, she rushed headlong out of the
binette, away from the ugly chair. She
I wanted to tear up the disgusting letter, but
Having read it to the end, however, some
conscious anxiety made her everything
finish reading. Yes, her fears are
were happy.
   Terrible... Is it really in that very chair,
where she really loved to sit
Was there an unknown man hiding?
   Yoshiko shuddered in disgust. She
I couldn’t stop trembling - it was as if I had been doused
cold water.  She sat in a daze,
looking ahead aloofly. What's the
bark? What to do?
   Look into the chair?  No, no, but for
what.  She shuddered again in disgust.
He may have left, but traces of him remain there
stay - food, disgusting rag-
yeah...
   - Madam, there is a letter for you!
   Yoshiko jumped up. There was a servant at the door
woman with an envelope in her hand.
   Yoshiko mechanically tore it, but
looking at the hieroglyphs, I involuntarily screamed
la out of fear.  Oh horror! Another letter
written in the same handwriting! And again the address
thrust upon her!
   YoshikoI thought for a long time, I couldn’t
decide, but finally, trembling, she opened the
vert and read the message, It was short
shady but stunning:
   "Please forgive my insolence - I dared-
wanted to disturb you again. The point is
that I am a long-time admirer of your yes-
roving.  My previous letter was clumsy
the best test of the pen. If you kindly express
consent to comment on the manuscript, almost
that one for the highest happiness. For some reasons
I sent it to us without accompanying
letters and I guess that you have already read
my essay.  How did it look to you?
I will be immensely glad if this story at least
entertained you a little. I omitted it on purpose
the title of my opus. I inform you that we intend
Ren call him "Chair Man"..."