Think #27 18 мая 1999

Thumbnails - Short Stories Kir Bulychev.

                  MINIATURES


                 Kir Bulychev



     These miniatures are written at the beginning
60-ies. and in no way intended to
Print. The names of them belong to my
friends and acquaintances - and they have limited
audience.



     We waited for Eugene and Ilya. But Ilya came
one and said that Jack probably did not come, because it was 
turned into an elephant. But Eugene came. He has long trampled 
in the corridor, confused trunk among the trunks and bags and

broke a chair with a blue top.



     It was two o'clock in the morning, and was wet
snow. At the end of the alley we Lavroushinsky
saw a man behind bars in the white fence. He was lying with his 
head in a puddle. Bare heel blue. The man had been

large wings and a light shining around his head. One wing was 
broken, and feathers hung from the boughs of black limes. 

   - Look, an angel fell, - said Eugene.

   - He was dead - I said.

     Women have come. They do not want
look at the dead.



     Meteorite struck eight floors and hissing
by snake-like, fell on my desk. I raised
head and through the hole in the ceiling he saw a blue sky.

     I waited until the meteorite cools
took him to the roof and stuffed them hole.



     There once was a bull. He was color-blind and
rushed onto the green. When spring came,
He trampled greenery on Leninsky Prospekt.

     To calm the bull, gardeners covered lime red flags.



     After the parade through the city rode missiles and 
armored personnel carriers, hung with children's balloons and 
decorated with fresh flowers. Officers in the jeep were placed 
himself lap children. It was fun.


     Then the radio operators were ordered closed down hatches 
of tanks, the officers carefully planted out jeeps children, 
and the column turned to the crowd. 



     Eugene caught cancer and wanted to take him
for sale in Paris. But it turned out that
Crayfish are very large fee. Had
lower cancer in a bucket with water and put
bucket in the kitchen.

     Cancer was eating a lot and soon grew out of a bucket.
He banged on the night claws and biting reviews
legs. Guests demanded that Jack bought
cancer of the muzzle.

     Then cancer bitten Eugene and went into the
yard. In the yard was a spring.



     Giant was so big that the net
shoe brush your teeth, drinking tea out of the bath,
instead of slippers worn kayak, thought
Cinema "Russia" - a TV room, and got stuck, crawling in the 
pedestrian tunnels.


     He liked to recall that the eight mothers died giving 
birth to him. 


     AN astronaut told that the universe is closed, and its 
limits rather close to the Earth. In such places can be

as in a mirror to see myself.


     But the time in different parts of the universe
moves differently. Therefore, N. see
himself an old and thick, with epaulets generalleytenanta 
aviation. He was delighted that will receive a good pension, 
and asked: 

     - Will there be war?

     Lieutenant-General said he did not
knows.



     In Moscow, CSKA Moscow in the Winter Conference held 
gladiator fights with lions. Neil threw the arena of a pearl 
necklace. Necklace fell on the neck of a lion, and none of the 
gladiator did not dare remove it from there. 

     But it remains unknown pioneer
descended into the arena and returned the necklace of the Nile.


     In Red Square met the king,
which was en route from Komsomolsk. Policemen hardly hold back 
the crowd. Misha, who was in uniform, gentleman of the 
bedchamber, had me to the king.


     The king asked to remove stars from Kremlin towers, but 
the police did not listen, and then the king ordered a wall up 
in the Kremlin wall. 

     Mischa kneading solution, and his face
Tears flowed.



     Myope never removed
points for the night because he was afraid that it is not
make out dreams.

     Once he broke the glasses, and on this night
sleep showed a doomsday, and on the walls
was written, when it happens.



     I rode a train to Moscow. Suddenly
It derailed and went through the woods.
Branches of the trees beat on the glass, and around
Birds. It smelled of strawberries. Some
Passengers worried that they miss the
work. Was already eight o'clock, and we all went to Sokolniki, 
leaving a broad band the trampled grass.


     The train stopped at the subway, and
all came out. Only the children had to pass from hand to hand, 
because there was no high platform.



     In the morning when I walked into the bathroom, I saw
on the floor in the corridor of fresh dung crocodile.
Litter was still warm to the touch. I went to
trail. Footprints led me into the kitchen. In
the kitchen was not a crocodile, but the plate
stood a tall slender man in a turquoise
mentike Ingrian hussars and roasted
eggs.

     He and I ate it.


     I pasted wallpaper and accidentally stuck between
them and plaster who came to visit me Volodya.

     We have long called him to drink tea, but he did not
walked. Then we guessed what it was, but
it was a pity to break new wallpaper, and we released it, 
breaking through the wall by the stairs. 



     I had lunch in the kitchen. Suddenly he heard muffled 
blows in that wall, which overlooks the street. I have not had 
time to drink tea, as in the wall marked the opening.


     In the end he slipped a thick cable.
It was spetskabel. Then the hole penetrated spetslyudi and 
ordered me to remain silent. 

     So far I have remained silent. But today, finally, the 
cable crawled through the kitchen and crawled next door. I 
consider it my duty tell all the people.




     I have long stood in front of the monument Griboyedov 
Kirov at the gate. As a living, I thought, succumbing to the 
charm of a realistic art. As a living.


     Monument sighed and said:

     - You guessed me.

     And there came down from the pedestal.



     I once had a long fluffy
tail, the best in Moscow. Even from Podolsk
People come to admire him.

     His stolen from me in the locker room restaurant "Amber". 
I still suzhus with the administration of the restaurant, which 
does not want compensate for the loss because, according to the 
rules, the tails of deposit are not accepted. 



     We were at a table sat a police sergeant.
He was not young, thin, obvetren, and ate a sandwich with red 
caviar. Sergeant break off those slices of bread, which has not 
got any eggs or butter. 

     Then he lifted one by one shoulder straps
and under the shoulder straps were large cockroaches with
sad eyes. The sergeant gave each
cockroach on a piece of bread. Cockroaches quickly
chewing bread and glanced at the red caviar,
which had finished Sgt.



     I'm such a hurry for a date, I have
wings. I am delighted that he will come
on a date with the wings behind the back, but not
noticed that I crushed them and pluck in
bus. I have long straightened and repaired them for
angle, and even late.

     She was so incensed by this that it is not
said wings.

     The parade of the seventh of November, the Red
Square, where were the tanks and heavy artillery, and there was 
silence. Then on the empty area is slowly moved into my 
typewriter. 

     Military attachés from different countries became agitated 
in the stands. 

     - Photograph, take pictures, then really there - told them.

     Marshal Grechko saluted. By the time the machine drew 
level with St. Basil's Cathedral, a place

Foreign correspondents were deserted.

     Two months later an agreement was signed
on general and complete disarmament.



     My friend was on a business trip in Dnepropetrovsk and met 
with a Scythian woman. He brought her to Moscow and married it.


     They were given an apartment on the first floor.



     Halley's Comet was faced with the Sun and
break it into small pieces. People are picking up the pieces 
that fell to Earth and set in his home. 

     Then he even went to visit with his
sun.



     France won the election nudists. Since there members of 
the cabinet go bare, and even in such a cause official visits. 

     When the Moscow television broadcast a report about the 
arrival in Moscow French Minister of Foreign Affairs,

instead of the minister appears in: Break for technical reasons 
beyond Soviet Union. "




     Carried out by experienced drilling in Antarctica
British scientists at a depth of a mile found a suitcase with a 
book by Emile Zola "Nana," the Chinese thermos and a note on

Russian: "I'll be back in twenty minutes. Umbel not open, one 
arm is broken. "


     This mystery is not solved.



     In Yalta, it was very hot. I like
arrived, I went to the waterfront, hid under the
shady bush and slept in the shade of two
hours.

     And only now learned that just as
While the famous Yalta magician
Alakanzar lost his legs, looking for an intelligent person who 
can be entrusted with running the country Amazons. 



     City of Saratov to address public
institutions went under water in the Volga River. Upstairs 
there is only one house of exemplary life, taken to preserve 
the tenants. 

     The house floats in the middle of the river, and from the 
cable goes down to the city of Saratov. 



     The alarm clock rings at seven in the morning
- Plant it or not, put on seven
or nine and twenty - he was always called
seven in the morning. In the end, the Nile is tired, and she 
took it at night in the bathroom. But at seven o'clock he came 
to her bedside and rang.